Dating a battered woman

[thehstrybean]

Kill him, help her...

In the name of humanity, you're both people...It can't hurt...

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
1 she dosent want to go to the police

2 she says no he would never kill me

I am at a ross road here. I really like her, im wondering if i should try to help her. If it wasnt for hr x beating her up and her having this syndrom i could really see us going places.

u think ron goldman thought he was gonna be killed by oj? buy a gun.

 

[slpaulson]

You gotta convince her to put his ass in jail.

How are you going to feel when you read her obituary? He fvcking choked her to the point of passing out. Who says he won't kill her next time?

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo

u think ron goldman thought he was gonna be killed by oj? buy a gun.

If this is needed....#1 learn self-defense. #2 learn to use a gun...then buy one.

 

[stevty2889]

All I can say is be careful how involved you get. If you care, you should try and help her..but help her to help herself, if she is unwilling to call the cops or press charges on this guy, it's just going to keep going on. My ex-wife came from an abusive family. I thought I could help her, but in the end she just became the abuser, and when I finaly kicked her to the curb after she stabbed me, she just married an abusive asshole. Doesn't mean your situation would turn out the same..but just be careful.

 

[0roo0roo]

how do u trust her judgment anyways.

she goes out with a total creep. not only that she has 2 of his children.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
how do u trust her judgment anyways.

she goes out with a total creep. not only that she has 2 of his children.

Yes we finally have a guy that's figured life out...oh snap; you have "Portman" in your sig.

nevermind false alarm...everyone move on.

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
how do u trust her judgment anyways.

she goes out with a total creep. not only that she has 2 of his children.

Yes we finally have a guy that's figured life out...oh snap; you have "Portman" in your sig.

nevermind false alarm...everyone move on.

oh i'm sorry, the whole guy that hits me must be bad thing is elitist and stuff.

and wow, you looked at my sig, good for you. sometimes people have sigs they cant be bothered to change. but i tell u what, portman doesn't beat me

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
oh i'm sorry, the whole guy that hits me must be bad thing is elitist and stuff.

and wow, you looked at my sig, good for you. sometimes people have sigs they cant be bothered to change. but i tell u what, portman doesn't beat me

Just to let you know...mmkay.

Most of the time, when the guy starts to beat someone; it's after the commitment has been made. Chances are in her life it was somewhere between the first and second kid.

Chances are you get knocked the f out on the first date, you are not coming back.

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
oh i'm sorry, the whole guy that hits me must be bad thing is elitist and stuff.

and wow, you looked at my sig, good for you. sometimes people have sigs they cant be bothered to change. but i tell u what, portman doesn't beat me

Just to let you know...mmkay.

Most of the time, when the guy starts to beat someone; it's after the commitment has been made. Chances are in her life it was somewhere between the first and second kid.

Chances are you get knocked the f out on the first date, you are not coming back.

well obviously. but still you must realize this double standard we have of the poor innocent helpless woman is based on age old sexism. we wouldn't tolerate really pitty a man that allowed himself to be abused that way for so long.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
well obviously. but still you must realize this double standard we have of the poor innocent helpless woman is based on age old sexism. we wouldn't tolerate really pitty a man that allowed himself to be abused that way for so long.

there are many battered husbands out there...usually it's the lack of physical.

thank you, please pull up to the next window.

BTW women are not so innocent or helpless.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Restraining order STAT!!! Otherwise, no deal.

 

[thomsbrain]

if she gets psychotherapy, and you are a patient person, and you think it's worth sticking around to see if things improve, then stay.

if any of the above aren't the case, then you'll have to go.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
if she gets psychotherapy, and you are a patient person, and you think it's worth sticking around to see if things improve, then stay.

if any of the above aren't the case, then you'll have to go.

psychotherapy is not a requirement yet, however; should she decide not to get legal help then yes.

 

[LumbergTech]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
if she gets psychotherapy, and you are a patient person, and you think it's worth sticking around to see if things improve, then stay.

if any of the above aren't the case, then you'll have to go.

psychotherapy is not a requirement yet, however; should she decide not to get legal help then yes.

yes..it is a requirement...or some other alternative form of therapy which is an equivalent in goal because she likes violence in bed and that guy choked her etc..shes obviously screwed up..people dont like violence in bad when they are healthy individuals

 

[SolMiester]

Wow, a nasty thread. OP, is there an update, what have you done?.
I guess you are the only one here who can advise whether or not to continue the relationship in any form, however, if it was me, 1st thing I would do whether or not I wanted any sort of relationship, is to help her to safety. Thats just karma dude, every person in the world somethimes has to help another.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: LumbergTech

yes..it is a requirement...or some other alternative form of therapy which is an equivalent in goal because she likes violence in bed and that guy choked her etc..shes obviously screwed up..people dont like violence in bad when they are healthy individuals

I missed the violence in bed part...but S&M is a popular subculture.

 

[Bushman5]

UPDATE:


She got back together with her x.


No phone call, no email, no nothing.

Im gonna call her at work tommorow.

I got this information from her cousin, i will update some more

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
UPDATE:


She got back together with her x.


No phone call, no email, no nothing.

Im gonna call her at work tommorow.

I got this information from her cousin, i will update some more

Dude! What did we tell you??? She's damaged good. Cut your lost and never ever contact her again or you'll end up being abused yourself and end up being damaged good.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Bushman5

I got this information from her cousin, i will update some more

so now you are family?

what's the real story?

 

[Bushman5]

????? her cousin told me. how does that make me family ?

 

[HomeAppraiser]

Poll?

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
UPDATE:


She got back together with her x.


No phone call, no email, no nothing.

Im gonna call her at work tommorow.

I got this information from her cousin, i will update some more

If this is true, you don't need someone like this in your life.

Someone who gets abused who then goes back to her abuser isn't someone who's playing with a full deck, In other words, she's not all there dude. She need serious help obviously.

There's many more women out there. You'll get over her and eventually you'll be glad you did.

 

[postmortemIA]

Don't call and embarrass yourself.

 

[fire400]

Originally posted by: reverend boltron
Well, honestly, you know what is happening in her life, you know the terror that she is living with, why are you going to let her continue to live like that? Maybe not dating her now would be the best thing, but definitely helping her out of that situation would be the best thing you could ever do for her. No joke. I mean, like, you can date her if you want to, but it's going to be a long journey of healing for her, but being a friend, helping her get a restraining order and all that jazz, that is what she needs now.

I was going to write something similar.

stress...? yes, ofcourse, I mean, it's a battlezone with you and her X. War, oh if you decide to go all the way, it's heartpounding action to helping with the healing and dealing with accepting the children as your very own, should she decide to be with you.

yeah, I wouldn't date her right now if I were you, I would still look out for her though. because what if the guy decides to do something crazy that will scar her even more? possibly rape her and do all sorts of terrible things to her.

the question is, if you love her, you better do something about it. because when you make up your mind and decide to help her out later on, she'll probably ask you, why you waited and didn't help her in the first place? besides the lovey dovey part, I mean, obviously you should do something about it because she's in need of help? talk about the good Samaritan? how would you allow yourself life any longer if your nights are sleepless, knowing you could have helped someone have a better life even if you don't end up hooking up with her?

quote: there is no happiness in the sacrifice of human beings.