Dating a battered woman

[LookingGlass]

You are not desperate Bushman5, I don't think you are. You have a heart, so what if you thought you could help her. You do know enough to back off. There is a fine line, and I believe you do know what that is, knowing when to back off. There is only so much you can do, that is being realistic. The rest, sadly, is up to her. I would bet my last dollar, it won't last, and she'll be miserably. Whatever happens, happens.

Good luck.

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
??? i didnt beg. I just told her ok well if u need help call me ill be their for you. and i hung up. After she made her choice even if she begged for me back i would not have gone.

The reason i wasso hung up on her is her love for art and the fact we could chat for hours and not get bored, also as a + she has a wicked body.

So me liking her and thinking i could help to me dosent mean im desperate.

I think you are genuinely good person, but also in denial about women: what they want vs. what they say. Things aren't black or white, they are grey. Ad you seem to be buying whatever she is offering.

 

[Bushman5]

Originally posted by: postmortemIA

Originally posted by: Bushman5
??? i didnt beg. I just told her ok well if u need help call me ill be their for you. and i hung up. After she made her choice even if she begged for me back i would not have gone.

The reason i wasso hung up on her is her love for art and the fact we could chat for hours and not get bored, also as a + she has a wicked body.

So me liking her and thinking i could help to me dosent mean im desperate.

I think you are genuinely good person, but also in denial about women: what they want vs. what they say. Things aren't black or white, they are grey. Ad you seem to be buying whatever she is offering.

I didnt base my liking to her on how good of a person she was or her past , i based my liking to her on the fact of how well we got along.

 

[Scarpozzi]

The ball is in her court. If she has half a brain, she'll get this guy taken care of via the police and a restraining order. (no smart mom would want her kids subjected to that kind of violence) He should still have to pay the child support payments, etc....just via mail or court order garnishing his wages.

Once she loses this guy and sets things in her favor, she can give you a call back. Otherwise, steer clear of her. Obviously, she cannot control her ex, but she can definitely use some smarts and prevent the jerk from being a negative influence on her and your lives. So tell her what she needs to do if she wants to see you again and leave it at that.

 

[LethalWolfe]

Originally posted by: PrelateBishop

Originally posted by: GoPackGo
call the police

FTW!!

The police can't do squat unless she presses charges and I'll bet dollars to donuts that she won't. The Ex has probably manipulated her so bad that she thinks that no one else would ever want to be with her and that she's "lucky" to be w/such a forgiving guy who can over look all of her "flaws." The mind games abusers (be they men or women) play are sick. Also, if she was abused by a loved one growing up then she might also see the abuse as a "normal" part of being loved by someone.

Basically she's more afraid to leave him than to stay w/him, "better the devil you know than the devil you don't."


Lethal

 

[DARQ MX]

argh.. This is one of those things you need to get out of. These guys are never going to go away. I swear to god I would try all my might to beat the living crap out of a guy that threatens my well-being and my GF/lady-friend, no matter how tough they are you still could do something about it to get back at the guy.

Anyway, IF you could, sure you could try to give the guy a beating, but that will do you know good because he will still come after you and probably sue you. SO I would tell her to get a restaining order on her x or just dump the broad.

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: LethalWolfe

Originally posted by: PrelateBishop

Originally posted by: GoPackGo
call the police

FTW!!

The police can't do squat unless she presses charges and I'll bet dollars to donuts that she won't. The Ex has probably manipulated her so bad that she thinks that no one else would ever want to be with her and that she's "lucky" to be w/such a forgiving guy who can over look all of her "flaws." The mind games abusers (be they men or women) play are sick. Also, if she was abused by a loved one growing up then she might also see the abuse as a "normal" part of being loved by someone.

Basically she's more afraid to leave him than to stay w/him, "better the devil you know than the devil you don't."


Lethal

Lethal, this is not true depending on where you live. Where you live, she does not need to press charges for an arrest and conviction. Cali law requires no spouse permission to prosecute last time I saw it listed.

 

[imported_griffis]

if you have to ask.....

 

[Compton]

I think this turned out for the best. At least she left you now rather than later. You can't help people who won't help themselves.

 

[mattpegher]

Check with local authorities in some states domestic abuse can be charged without the victim pressing charges. It may not help now due to delay of evidence but may be usefull in the future.

 

[hysperion]

Originally posted by: Compton
I think this turned out for the best. At least she left you now rather than later. You can't help people who won't help themselves.

Maybe he smacked her around better in bed then you did.......should have listened to her when she told you how she liked it.......

(not advocating abuse of women by any means here but it sounds to me like she's into the S&M thing)......