Dead Mother

[sdgserv]

I live with my cousin and her mother died about 2 years ago.
In her room in a box with a picture on the side is the remains of my aunt.
I just feel that keeping your dead mom in your bedroom with you is a little strange.
I have spoken with her about this..My advise was to let her(mom) go.
And please stop talking to her.

You guy have any experience with this sort of behavior or may be some kind words for her.
She only lives here on the weekends, her job keeps her away.

 

[Wuffsunie]

What kind of remains we talking about? Ashes, or something that would make Norman Bates proud?

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Wuffsunie
What kind of remains we talking about? Ashes, or something that would make Norman Bates proud?

I'd assume ashes

 

[olds]

Unless it's a body, I don't see a problem with it.

 

[Born2bwire]

Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

 

[CraKaJaX]

Originally posted by: Wuffsunie
What kind of remains we talking about? Ashes, or something that would make Norman Bates proud?

:laugh:

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

 

[Wheezer]

Originally posted by: sdgserv
I live with my cousin and her mother died about 2 years ago.
In her room in a box with a picture on the side is the remains of my aunt.
I just feel that keeping your dead mom in your bedroom with you is a little strange.
I have spoken with her about this..My advise was to let her(mom) go.
And please stop talking to her.

You guy have any experience with this sort of behavior or may be some kind words for her.
She only lives here on the weekends, her job keeps her away.

Personally I do not find this peculiar at all.

Many, many people have a hard time letting go...completely.

The fact that she is not depressed over it shows that she has accepted it, the fact that she keeps the ashes so close to her simply shows she takes comfort in having her mother close to her, to talk with (what you never talk to yourself?), to always know that she is close by perhaps gives her a sense of peace....to be honest....it is not for you to judge......who knows what kind of grief you will experience and how you will handle it upon the death of a parent or a sibling.....

My SO of 20 years keeps a picture and ashes of a cat we owned and she nursed lovingly through the last 5 years of his life...we got him as a kitten and he was "her" cat.....I find nothing wrong with it....nor would I object to her keeping the ashes of her grandmother who practically raised her in our house as well.....yes we have talked about it.

It is not something I personally would do but then again I am not her...so it is irrelevant.

 

[Born2bwire]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

 

[BoomerD]

Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

 

[Born2bwire]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

Shit, really? /me reads OP. Liar!!!

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

Yes, but the mother that the OP's cousin is keeping is deceased.

 

[dud]

If it were ashes I could understand. If it were a corpse then NO.

My mother died 9 years ago. I miss her more than any typed word can express but there is a limit to "healthy" behavior.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

Shit, really? /me reads OP. Liar!!!

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

Yes, but the mother that the OP's cousin is keeping is deceased.

I assume that this will be the case here sooner or later as well...

 

[Born2bwire]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

Shit, really? /me reads OP. Liar!!!

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

Yes, but the mother that the OP's cousin is keeping is deceased.

I assume that this will be the case here sooner or later as well...

You probably should punch a few air holes in the door then.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

Shit, really? /me reads OP. Liar!!!

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

Yes, but the mother that the OP's cousin is keeping is deceased.

I assume that this will be the case here sooner or later as well...

You probably should punch a few air holes in the door then.

Why? That defeats the whole purpose...as would giving them food & water.

sheesh, some people just don't grasp the concept...:roll:

 

[legoman666]

mind your own fucking business.

 

[Born2bwire]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Born2bwire
Keeping her ashes, not that big of deal in my opinion. Talking to ashes, I would rather not stay overnight in his house.

Who is this he you speak of?

He/she, do you really expect any of us to actually read the OP's post?

It was chocolate chip.

Shit, really? /me reads OP. Liar!!!

Originally posted by: BoomerD
Hell, I have my mom and grandfather in my office closet...

Yes, but the mother that the OP's cousin is keeping is deceased.

I assume that this will be the case here sooner or later as well...

You probably should punch a few air holes in the door then.

Why? That defeats the whole purpose...as would giving them food & water.

sheesh, some people just don't grasp the concept...:roll:

Well excuse me there Oedipus. Some of us don't mind if our grandfather comes out of the closet. Wait...

 

[imported_Baloo]

There is nothing wrong with your roomies behavior. It is neither symptomatic of mental issues requiring intervention, nor unusual. It's her choice, respect it, don't try to make her into a clone of yourself. The truth is, that it concerns you such, it indicates that you have issues that you are having difficulty dealing with. I suggest you seek counseling.

 

[sdgserv]

Originally posted by: Baloo
There is nothing wrong with your roomies behavior. It is neither symptomatic of mental issues requiring intervention, nor unusual. It's her choice, respect it, don't try to make her into a clone of yourself. The truth is, that it concerns you such, it indicates that you have issues that you are having difficulty dealing with. I suggest you seek counseling.

Every time I walk into the room, I am reminded that there is a dead persons ashes in here and it is someone I have known all my life. This not a discrete closed box. This is a shrine. I can take pics if you like. In your response you feel that this in not unusual and that I am the one who needs help. I don't think so..
Many people who have passed "THE SHRINE" and are a little disturbed seem to have the same feelings as me.

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: sdgserv

Originally posted by: Baloo
There is nothing wrong with your roomies behavior. It is neither symptomatic of mental issues requiring intervention, nor unusual. It's her choice, respect it, don't try to make her into a clone of yourself. The truth is, that it concerns you such, it indicates that you have issues that you are having difficulty dealing with. I suggest you seek counseling.

Every time I walk into the room, I am reminded that there is a dead persons ashes in here and it is someone I have known all my life. This not a discrete closed box. This is a shrine. I can take pics if you like. In your response you feel that this in not unusual and that I am the one who needs help. I don't think so..
Many people who have passed "THE SHRINE" and are a little disturbed seem to have the same feelings as me.

...In her room in a box with a picture on the side is the remains of my aunt...

Her bedroom?
That hardly sounds like a shrine.
I agree with Baloo, it's more your issue than hers.

 

[sdgserv]

Oh yeah .. I am not lying

 

[Agentbolt]

Every time I walk into the room, I am reminded that there is a dead persons ashes in here and it is someone I have known all my life.

Radical Solution time: Stop going in her bedroom. OH SNAP I know it's crazy, but maybe it's just crazy enough to work.

 

[SlickSnake]

Originally posted by: sdgserv
I live with my cousin and her mother died about 2 years ago.
In her room in a box with a picture on the side is the remains of my aunt.
I just feel that keeping your dead mom in your bedroom with you is a little strange.
I have spoken with her about this..My advise was to let her(mom) go.
And please stop talking to her.

You guy have any experience with this sort of behavior or may be some kind words for her.
She only lives here on the weekends, her job keeps her away.

Simple. Just sit down and talk to your cousins dead mom about it. This should clear things up. If she don't respond right away, just get a bit drunk and try again later. A Ouija board might work well, too. Maybe buy one and set it next to the shrine, like an offering. Show them you are really supporting her deification of your auntie. A magic 8 ball might be good, too.

Seriously, though, this is more your problem than hers, as others have said. Don't try to put your odd feelings about it off on her. Talking to her mom may seem a bit strange, but it's really no stranger than saying a prayer to an invisible God, is it? It is a coping mechanism. Hopefully in time, she will get over it. At least the entombing and shrine part of it.

 

[SlickSnake]

Originally posted by: sdgserv

Originally posted by: Baloo
There is nothing wrong with your roomies behavior. It is neither symptomatic of mental issues requiring intervention, nor unusual. It's her choice, respect it, don't try to make her into a clone of yourself. The truth is, that it concerns you such, it indicates that you have issues that you are having difficulty dealing with. I suggest you seek counseling.

Every time I walk into the room, I am reminded that there is a dead persons ashes in here and it is someone I have known all my life. This not a discrete closed box. This is a shrine. I can take pics if you like. In your response you feel that this in not unusual and that I am the one who needs help. I don't think so..
Many people who have passed "THE SHRINE" and are a little disturbed seem to have the same feelings as me.

I would be interested to see a few pics. But in some cultures, the enshrining of dead relatives is considered a normal behavior. What really seems to bother you is the ashes of the dead part. That is more a phobia on your part, and the part you need to deal with. She is obviously fine with it, and so it's not your problem then. Just don't go in the room, and tell her the ashes make you uncomfortable. That's all you need to say about it.