dead

[faenix]

none.

 

[gotsmack]

if she likes him so much why did they break up?

 

[vshah]

we really can't tell without knowing her personally, but she sounds like a girl who doesn't really know what she wants. why did she break up with her ex? if it was because of you, then expect the same thing to happen in the future.

 

[faenix]

Broke up April of 2003 to be exact.

It was a mutual ending. They both didn't make time for each other so they decided to end it. None of that hostile "I HATE YOU, WE'RE OVER" kind of stuff. Makes me even more queasy.

We started going out late April of 2004.

She always reassures me that I'll be the only one for her, but it's drives me up the walls whenever David is brought up.

 

[Lola]

personally, i do not think you are being unreasonable.
I would NEVER bring up old flames like that in any relationship i was in.

You need to seriously sit her down and ask her why she is still talking about him and why she still has photod of them together.
The key is not to be the bad guy.
Really tell her how much you care for her and that it truly hurts you when she does/says what she does. try and find what her motives are and why she still brings up her past.

or if you wanted to fight fire with fire, just start talking about a girl you dated before and she how she reacts.

 

[Isshinryu]

Groundless jealousy. Work on losing it.

 

[bandana163]

You might get more help at YAGT.org (by Conjur).

 

[Rob9874]

No, you're right. But if you guys are under 21, watch out. I've been burned SO many times by chicks going back to their ex. Usually guys who they (claim to have) hated. The entire time we would spend together would be her telling me how glad she was to have found a nice guy. Because her last boyfriend was a dick. He would yell at her all the time, tell her what to do and what not to do, and in a few instances even hit them. Yet, they still broke up with me the second they found out that the guy would take them back. Girls are stupid. Don't get caught in their stupidity. If she's talking about him non-stop, she obviously still has feelings for him. Be careful!

(I'm since married, so no I don't have girl hangups. After the early 20's, some of them wise up.)

 

[whiteboy81]

I'm guessing you're about 17...right?

I don't mean any offense by that, it's just that I felt similar about my girlfriends ex-boyfriends when I was that age.

As you get older this will wear off and you'll get over the jealousy thing...and you will eventually laugh at how much you let these things bother you.

 

[nan0bug]

I don't think its unreasonable for you to ask her to not throw their friendship and past relationship in your face all the time, but to expect her to never mention his name around you is kinda foolish. It would all depend on how often its happening. If this is a once in a while thing, let it go. If this is happening frequently, tell her if she can't stop talking about him around you, you're going to call it quits because the relationship is not worth the aggrivation.

I think she just wants to make you jealous because it makes her feel wanted, so play along, but maybe you should focus on other ways of making her feel wanted so she doesn't have to use her ex as a means of getting attention. If that doesn't change things, then its time to find a new girlfriend.

 

[faenix]

Originally posted by: whiteboy81
I'm guessing you're about 17...right?

I don't mean any offense by that, it's just that I felt similar about my girlfriends ex-boyfriends when I was that age.

As you get older this will wear off and you'll get over the jealousy thing...and you will eventually laugh at how much you let these things bother you.

I am 17 going on 18. You got it right on the dot.

I hope your case applies to mine also.... 5 years down the road. =)

 

[PowderBB3D]

I believe that you're perfectly within bounds to get upset over her continual mentioning of her old boyfriend. Even if he wasn't her old boyfriend and he was a girl and they were friends I'd get mad if she kept bring her up and talking about her all the time and when I said one thing about her she defended her (if that all made sense to you than bravo). The fact remains that that part of her life is pretty much over, but if she insists on dwelling on it perhaps she wishes it weren't so. I'd confront her, one on one, and tell her to tell me very matter-of-factly exactly what her feelings are for this guy and for me. There's no reason for you to argue with her though and if she's defending him you must be putting him down. Next time David comes up just say "okay that's nice" and keep going on about whatever it was you were talking about before. If she keeps talking about him or is upset that you won't talk with her about him than you might have a problem. It's important to know how she feels about this guy and about you (especially when compared to you) because it's not fair for you to have to compete in her eyes with her ex.

My two simoleons.

 

[sniperruff]

Originally posted by: faenix

Am I being unreasonable? Or do I have a right to be jealous?

i say both. i can perfectly understand the reason that you being a little jealous.

however it is not going to do any good to the relationship. she has her right to talk about whoever she wants to. just tell her that you are uncomfortable when she mentions her.

but you would never have the right to control how another person thinks or talks. so let her talk whatever she wants. just keep your cool and remain silent. on the other hand if your girlfriend truly loves you she'd stop talking about him.

afterall you are her boyfriend now. at the end of every day you get to see her and get her attention. don't let something so minor to ruin your relationship.

good luck

 

[cressida]

Good luck... You'll hear more of David and eventually blow up. ; |

 

[Gurck]

I would have guessed 15. No insult, can't even put a finger on why I thought that... I guess it's the phlegMTV / Real (dumb) World tone of the post. I'd concentrate on learning and getting good grades / test scores, concentrating on puppy love in HS won't get you anywhere.

 

[faenix]

A thread with no flames or dissing or whatsoever.

Thanks guys, it sounds cheezy coming from a 17 year old, but I really do appreciate it.

I'm thinking over everything right now.

 

[faenix]

Originally posted by: Gurck
I would have guessed 15. No insult, can't even put a finger on why I thought that... I guess it's the phlegMTV / Real (dumb) World tone of the post. I'd concentrate on learning and getting good grades / test scores, concentrating on puppy love in HS won't get you anywhere.

Done with everything. Did pretty well in school. Near the top of the class in Stuyvesant High School, 1510 SATs, Captain of sports teams here and there, President of clubs, all the community service stuff here and there colleges look for.

Applying to the same college with her too, pretty much guaranteed there. (Washington University in St. Louis) Reason for "cockiness" is because the admissions director loved us and viewed our resume's and told us not to worry about anything.

 

[dirtboy]

Let's see... she's young and doesn't have much experience with relationships. Do you expect her to act differently?

I don't think talking about past relationships is bad. I actually like to hear about them, because it can give me a great deal of insight into the person I'm with, unless they're a liar.

 

[sniperruff]

Originally posted by: faenix
A thread with no flames or dissing or whatsoever.

Thanks guys, it sounds cheezy coming from a 17 year old, but I really do appreciate it.

I'm thinking over everything right now.

grow up a couple more years and you will become less impulsive.

afterall what's past is in the past. the present and the future is all that matters.

just don't let it get into your head. go watch spiderman 2 or irobot with your girlfriend tonight!

 

[faenix]

Spiderman 2. Done

I.Robot. Done.

Raising Helen
Mean Girls
The Notebook
Stepford Wives
13 Going on 30. Done.

Somebody shoot me. D:

 

[GeneralGrievous]

I hope you are applying there because you want to go there, and not because she is. Following a girl around at 17 is rather stupid.

 

[faenix]

Met at a volleyball tournament and a Washington University seminar. =)

First choice for both of us before we even met.

 

[Rob9874]

Originally posted by: GeneralGrievous
I hope you are applying there because you want to go there, and not because she is. Following a girl around at 17 is rather stupid.

I agree. I (and SO many people I know) have dated so many girls that were "the one" at the time. You'll have "the one" at 17, at 18, at 19, and so on. At one point, you'll realize that every girl you date can't possibly be the one. And when you hit your mid-20's, and realize how naive you were in your teens, you want to help those in their teens now. But they don't want to hear it. Old people are always trying to kill your buzz. But when you get older yourself, you realize why.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Lola
personally, i do not think you are being unreasonable.
I would NEVER bring up old flames like that in any relationship i was in.

You need to seriously sit her down and ask her why she is still talking about him and why she still has photod of them together.
The key is not to be the bad guy.
Really tell her how much you care for her and that it truly hurts you when she does/says what she does. try and find what her motives are and why she still brings up her past.

or if you wanted to fight fire with fire, just start talking about a girl you dated before and she how she reacts.

yeah, talking about ex-es and especially gusing over how great they are is a serious no-no.

you need to set it straight.

 

[montanafan]

Originally posted by: nan0bug
...I think she just wants to make you jealous because it makes her feel wanted, so play along, but maybe you should focus on other ways of making her feel wanted so she doesn't have to use her ex as a means of getting attention. If that doesn't change things, then its time to find a new girlfriend.

A lot of girls that age do this. Hopefully she'll grow out of it before it causes her to lose a nice guy.