Deadbeat wifes son is moving out in Spring...actually forced out

[EGGO]

There are plenty of kids around his age that aren't working now. My brother is about 22, I think. He graduated college and taking a year break before going into med school and he and his friends can't really find jobs out there and they're really trying. He worked as a UPS helper and is going to try something else, but at least they're trying. He's even going to volunteer for the Red Cross.

Anyway, that was me trying to say that not all mid-20 somethings that are jobless and living with their parents shouldn't be generalized as losers, it's not looking good out there right now; however, this kid does sound like an ass ready to be beat by the reality of the world.

 

[mrrman]

There are plenty of kids around his age that aren't working now. My brother is about 22, I think. He graduated college and taking a year break before going into med school and he and his friends can't really find jobs out there and they're really trying. He worked as a UPS helper and is going to try something else, but at least they're trying. He's even going to volunteer for the Red Cross.

Anyway, that was me trying to say that not all mid-20 somethings that are jobless and living with their parents shouldn't be generalized as losers, it's not looking good out there right now; however, this kid does sound like an ass ready to be beat by the reality of the world.

the thing is the he is not even attempting to look for a job...just lazes around and does whatever...the kid is a lost cause....I will be much happier when he is gone and fends for himself. He will see what life really costs, no more freebies at my house....construction begins this week,,,,

 

[insect9]

You both sound like idiots.

 

[DaWhim]

hard to believe what ATOT has came to be. considering the posters here are harsh compare to other forums, you guys actually having problem with OP's "tough love" to the stepson.

i agree with OP, just kick him to the curb.

 

[eits]

hard to believe what ATOT has came to be. considering the posters here are harsh compare to other forums, you guys actually having problem with OP's "tough love" to the stepson.

i agree with OP, just kick him to the curb.

being a dickhead isn't "tough love"... it's being a dickhead.

tough love = "i love the kid, but he can't keep doing this with his life. it's tough, but i'm gonna have to force him out of the house so he can grow up and be a man instead of play video games all day long."

 

[xanis]

being a dickhead isn't "tough love"... it's being a dickhead.

tough love = "i love the kid, but he can't keep doing this with his life. it's tough, but i'm gonna have to force him out of the house so he can grow up and be a man instead of play video games all day long."

Pretty much. The OP seems to be taking pleasure in the impending suffering that this kid will soon experience.

 

[nerp]

Pretty much. The OP seems to be taking pleasure in the impending suffering that this kid will soon experience.

I don't blame him. When you've got a deadbeat lazy dumbass in your house, you tend to build up a layer of frustration.

 

[GlacierFreeze]

Pretty much. The OP seems to be taking pleasure in the impending suffering that this kid will soon experience.

Suffering? You mean supporting yourself is suffering? Sheesh, gotta live in the real world some day. Should he baby him the rest of his life? "Awww poor wittle thing, why don't you stay wit mama and dada so you don't ever have to support yourself. The real world is sooo tough. Don't want you to get your wittle feelin's hurt, wittle baby."

He needs to wake up to the real world. Sounds like forcing the 24 year old baby out of the nest is the only way to do it.

 

[xanis]

Suffering? You mean supporting yourself is suffering? Sheesh, gotta live in the real world some day. Should he baby him the rest of his life? "Awww poor wittle thing, why don't you stay wit mama and dada so you don't ever have to support yourself."

He needs to wake up to the real world. Sounds like forcing the 24 year old baby out of the nest is the only way to do it.

I didn't say that I disagreed with what the OP was doing. In fact, I think it's the best possible thing for this kid. He absolutely needs to learn some harsh life lessons, and kicking to the curb is be best way to do it in this situation. What I was saying was that he seems to be getting some sick pleasure out of kicking the kid out... he's mentioned how happy he is to see him gone and whatnot it in literally every post he's made in this thread. Like eits said, he's just seems like he's being a dickhead at this point.

 

[eits]

Suffering? You mean supporting yourself is suffering? Sheesh, gotta live in the real world some day. Should he baby him the rest of his life? "Awww poor wittle thing, why don't you stay wit mama and dada so you don't ever have to support yourself. The real world is sooo tough. Don't want you to get your wittle feelin's hurt, wittle baby."

He needs to wake up to the real world. Sounds like forcing the 24 year old baby out of the nest is the only way to do it.

i didn't say it wasn't... but the way the op sounds is that he just hates this kid and doesn't give a damn what happens to him and i'm saying that, because of that attitude, he's a piece of shit. it's his wife's son... he should care a bit more than viewing the kid as a leech he wants gone.

 

[BTA]

Men aren't programmed to want to support and care for the spawn of another man.

The kid is lucky he's been allowed to live there as long as he has, with his shit attitude.

 

[Blackjack200]

Men aren't programmed to want to support and care for the spawn of another man.

The kid is lucky he's been allowed to live there as long as he has, with his shit attitude.

I've heard that the vast majority of child abuse is suffered by children under the care of a man that is not their biological father. Same reason. Don't know if it's true though, I never checked into it myself...

 

[nick1985]

Pretty much. The OP seems to be taking pleasure in the impending suffering that this kid will soon experience.

Wait...what? U serious Clark?

 

[ShawnD1]

I've heard that the vast majority of child abuse is suffered by children under the care of a man that is not their biological father. Same reason. Don't know if it's true though, I never checked into it myself...

Ya can't have sex with your own kids, but other kids are fair game :awe:

 

[ProgressiveAthe]

If your stepson was smart he would report you for the FELONY you plan to commit. He may be a deadbeat but you are an admited crimal, who steals from the people.

 

[ProgressiveAthe]

the thing is the he is not even attempting to look for a job...just lazes around and does whatever...the kid is a lost cause....I will be much happier when he is gone and fends for himself. He will see what life really costs, no more freebies at my house....construction begins this week,,,,

Maybe he will take up stealing like you.

 

[SunSamurai]

For many players, WoW is a addiction, worse than crack, that corrupts your soul. The more you play the more you identify yourself with game and the harder it is to take a step back and realize there is no foundation to life on it. You lose all sense of reality, know you have lost all sense of reality, but cannot stop because you lose all ability to construct any sort of positive reality outside of the game. Negative feelings overwhelm you the moment you think of life without it, so you continue playing, ignoring all advice that life will come crashing down sooner or later, whilst knowing it is all true. It is as if you were an investment banker.

Blaming things in the place of people is the first sign of failed wisdom.

 

[DaWhim]

being a dickhead isn't "tough love"... it's being a dickhead.

tough love = "i love the kid, but he can't keep doing this with his life. it's tough, but i'm gonna have to force him out of the house so he can grow up and be a man instead of play video games all day long."

The opposite side of love is indifference, not hate.

at least OP hates him, if he is indifferent about this guy, then it is different. If I have to keep up with a free loader for so many years, i would probably be just like OP.

 

[OutHouse]

lay down some strict rules for the next six weeks. If you can at least make his life somewhat hellish starting now, there's a chances he'll get angry enough to make some changes in his life before he is forced out

yip this is what i would do. i would make his life a living hell where he absolutely hated living there. give him the motivation to get his own ass out.

first i would remove internet/phone/TV
second i would stop buying him food/drink or charge him for dinner. "hey boy this steak is good if you want some pay up 10 bucks" oh dont have 10 bucks thats too bad, that bowl of ramen you just made is 2 bucks.
i would also padlock the breaker box and kill the electricity to his room.
take on a aura of a Marine Corps Drill Sergeant

you have 6 weeks to make his life a living hell and i highly suggest you do so. become his living nightmare and make him hate you.

Like others have said when D-Day comes to throw him out your wife will not do it. You will have hell to pay from her guilt of throwing her son out on the street.

 

[RaistlinZ]

I've heard that the vast majority of child abuse is suffered by children under the care of a man that is not their biological father. Same reason. Don't know if it's true though, I never checked into it myself...

I'm not surprised. Probably the same in the animal kingdom. Why would a male waste precious resources to a child that isn't his offspring and can't pass on his genes? Might should harsh, but that's the way males are wired even if they don't realize it.

It's one thing to take care of a child, but a 24 year old MAN, and a deadbeat at that, is a whole other matter. If this were a family of lions the loser stepson would have been eaten by the larger male or driven out of the pride by now.

Pull the internet connection from his room ASAP. Oh, and like someone said earlier, your wife is the other half of this problem. Your stepson has done nothing because he knows that his mom will never REALLY let you just throw him out. You need to make sure she's on-board and know that it might get ugly if the son still around come D-Day. It might come to physically removing him, and she has to know that.

 

[nick1985]

Pics of wife and deadbeat?

 

[bobdole369]

I don't blame him. When you've got a deadbeat lazy dumbass in your house, you tend to build up a layer of frustration.

I've gone through this twice. Not my kids (god forbid I ever unleash the hounds of hell upon the earth by that which my spawn surely shall.) But with "friends".

First case was straightforward. Dude was wifes HS buddy, seemed to hold a job, had a girlfriend who's parents moved (she was 24 and living at home, shoulda been a warning I suppose) and she stayed on. Girl became unwelcome in buddies house, so as a favor to him (and I suppose her, but I had only known her for about 6 months) we opend our living room floor and couch with the understanding that she would be out in a month or he would get them a place. No rent was paid, no expectation of anything besides an open door with reasonable hours, a floor and a couch spot.

9 weeks later - no job, not even looking, silly girl started eating our green beans and hormel chili (no beans). Without asking or anything. Expected meals and all that. Bad situation. Boyfriend ended up burning himself and not being able to work and workers comp had issues, and he was a drug user and unemployment wanted to drug test, long story short - both deadbeats, they lasted twice as long as I was willing to put up with - turns out she was knocked up too. Damn I'm a bastard.

Second time was MUCH more convoluted. Basically we have friends who live in a home owned by their father (brother sister) (property manager, he owns a number of commercial and private domiciles). They had a roomie who left. I saw the possibility of $400 rent - so I jumped on it.

In between the time the roomie left and we moved in, the girls ex-boyfriend (who is also a very good BFF of the brother) sort of sidled up. SHe used to live with him and now he was homeless, so she let him stay in the living room and they all played WoW together.

Fast Forward a year and we are sick of this lowlife just sponging. He doesn't even sweep the floor. Granted he doesn't touch our stuff or eat our food, but he does shower and use electricity. Wifey booted him. Told him to GTFO.

 

[KMFJD]

If your stepson was smart he would report you for the FELONY you plan to commit. He may be a deadbeat but you are an admited crimal, who steals from the people.

? what felony ? the kid for not paying for anything?

 

[ProgressiveAthe]

? what felony ? the kid for not paying for anything?

tax evasion for one. Also his ignoring of local and state laws for permits.

 

[nick1985]

I've gone through this twice. Not my kids (god forbid I ever unleash the hounds of hell upon the earth by that which my spawn surely shall.) But with "friends".

First case was straightforward. Dude was wifes HS buddy, seemed to hold a job, had a girlfriend who's parents moved (she was 24 and living at home, shoulda been a warning I suppose) and she stayed on. Girl became unwelcome in buddies house, so as a favor to him (and I suppose her, but I had only known her for about 6 months) we opend our living room floor and couch with the understanding that she would be out in a month or he would get them a place. No rent was paid, no expectation of anything besides an open door with reasonable hours, a floor and a couch spot.

9 weeks later - no job, not even looking, silly girl started eating our green beans and hormel chili (no beans). Without asking or anything. Expected meals and all that. Bad situation. Boyfriend ended up burning himself and not being able to work and workers comp had issues, and he was a drug user and unemployment wanted to drug test, long story short - both deadbeats, they lasted twice as long as I was willing to put up with - turns out she was knocked up too. Damn I'm a bastard.

Second time was MUCH more convoluted. Basically we have friends who live in a home owned by their father (brother sister) (property manager, he owns a number of commercial and private domiciles). They had a roomie who left. I saw the possibility of $400 rent - so I jumped on it.

In between the time the roomie left and we moved in, the girls ex-boyfriend (who is also a very good BFF of the brother) sort of sidled up. SHe used to live with him and now he was homeless, so she let him stay in the living room and they all played WoW together.

Fast Forward a year and we are sick of this lowlife just sponging. He doesn't even sweep the floor. Granted he doesn't touch our stuff or eat our food, but he does shower and use electricity. Wifey booted him. Told him to GTFO.

Damn, you let him suck your utilities for a whole year?