Dealing with a spoiled and depressed loved one

[Cat]

Has anyone here had to deal with someone who freaks out at the slightest things? I'm talking everything going well all day, and then some small hiccup occurs, and this person just throws a fit and/or becomes depressed. I have to put in a ton of effort to get this person back to a normal state, and it usually takes hours.

I think it's a combination of anti-anxiety medications and this person's general personality, but I really can't say anything with authority.

Normally I can weather these storms, but lately I'm being sucked into this person's black cloud, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

 

[Tuktuk]

Ha.. you mean women? I think we've all had to deal with them.

 

[MX2]

Sounds like half the free world

 

[FP]

DAMNIT. I was having a perfectly good day till I read this!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FREAKS OUT? Who do you think you are pointing a finger like that!?

WHAT IS A NORMAL STATE?

 

[Philippine Mango]

Originally posted by: Cat
Has anyone here had to deal with someone who freaks out at the slightest things? I'm talking everything going well all day, and then some small hiccup occurs, and this person just throws a fit and/or becomes depressed. I have to put in a ton of effort to get this person back to a normal state, and it usually takes hours.

I think it's a combination of anti-anxiety medications and this person's general personality, but I really can't say anything with authority.

Normally I can weather these storms, but lately I'm being sucked into this person's black cloud, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

Get the person off the meds and see if things improve. While medications can help things, I've noticed that a lot seem to make the person overall crappier then when they started, I find this especially true of medicines aimed towards the psyche. I find psychological medicines are like pain medications such as tylenol or advil and nyquil for when you have a cold that don't solve the problem but mask it and put a different 'twist' on it. What they should be focusing on are medications like robitussin which IMO actually help address the issue; that reminds me, I've got some phlegm to cough up.

 

[Darthvoy]

pics? only if it is a girl you are talking about

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: binister
DAMNIT. I was having a perfectly good day till I read this!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FREAKS OUT? Who do you think you are pointing a finger like that!?

WHAT IS A NORMAL STATE?

STOOPPPPPP YEEEELLLLINNNNGGGG







EDIT: The above is meant as a joke and I am in no way angry at the poster for using all caps.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: Philippine Mango
Get the person off the meds and see if things improve. While medications can help things, I've noticed that a lot seem to make the person overall crappier then when they started, I find this especially true of medicines aimed towards the psyche. I find psychological medicines are like pain medications such as tylenol or advil and nyquil for when you have a cold that don't solve the problem but mask it and put a different 'twist' on it. What they should be focusing on are medications like robitussin which IMO actually help address the issue; that reminds me, I've got some phlegm to cough up.

I can't do that, but I've tried The meds have been in this person's life for years. I've watched this new set of medications cause depression while not doing much to relieve anxiety. This person went off medication a few months ago, and that was even worse.

I just don't know how to deal with the meltdowns anymore. When I put in a large amount energy to ensure a fun and interesting day, and one small thing drives this person into a funk, I just don't have the strength to fix things.

 

[k1pp3r]

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: Philippine Mango
Get the person off the meds and see if things improve. While medications can help things, I've noticed that a lot seem to make the person overall crappier then when they started, I find this especially true of medicines aimed towards the psyche. I find psychological medicines are like pain medications such as tylenol or advil and nyquil for when you have a cold that don't solve the problem but mask it and put a different 'twist' on it. What they should be focusing on are medications like robitussin which IMO actually help address the issue; that reminds me, I've got some phlegm to cough up.

I can't do that, but I've tried The meds have been in this person's life for years. I've watched this new set of medications cause depression while not doing much to relieve anxiety. This person went off medication a few months ago, and that was even worse.

I just don't know how to deal with the meltdowns anymore. When I put in a large amount energy to ensure a fun and interesting day, and one small thing drives this person into a funk, I just don't have the strength to fix things.

Its all about finding the meds that work for that person. I dated a girl that was ADD/HD and had depression. When she was on meds that did not work well with her system, she was hard as hell to be around. You mentioned new meds, how long has this person been on the new set?

Its all about finding the Med that works for you, then sticking with it.

BUT, sometimes Dr's knows what works best and ignors what the patient is telling them, at that time, seek a new medical professional.

 

[Kadarin]

Leave that person. There's no reason why you should feel obligated to just take their sh!t.

 

[dannybek]

ARGGHHRRRHHHHHHHHHHEERRRHHHHH!!!!

 

[Cat]

She went off of Effexor two months ago, but weaned herself off of it without consulting a doctor. Recently she talked to someone qualified, and was prescribed buspirone, but went off of it yesterday, because her doctor thinks it's causing her to be depressed. She's on klonopin for a short term transition to something else.

Today I shoveled out of my house, picked up strawberries for something she was making, grabbed roses and an orchid, her favorite snack, some treats for her cat, tiramisu, and other ingredients for cooking in. Oh, and I managed to find her a Wii.

She wanted to go out, but we didn't have much time to make this particular restaurant in time for a movie, and when I said I didn't think it would work, and couldn't come up with a plan in thirty seconds, she started freaking out yet again. First I wasn't being helpful, and by the time her voice had risen to 100 dB, she was calling me a jerk and an asshole. This is without me really saying anything at all. It's like she fuels her own hysteria. One, nobody's even on the roads right now (northern VA/DC/MD,) and just getting to her place was a chore. Then I had to shovel out a space for my car once I got to her house. This is while her neighbors are getting together to free an SUV from a snowbank.

She's upset because she "just wanted to go out," but often she says she hates going out. So I called her on it, and she said she's allowed to hate going out when she feels that way, and is entitled to really want to go out other times.

I'm trying to learn how to effectively deal with her social anxiety and depression, but the spoiled behavior is killing me.

It hasn't always been like this, and her brother-in-law has told me that her sister also has certain elements of a selfish streak too.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Cat
She went off of Effexor two months ago, but weaned herself off of it without consulting a doctor. Recently she talked to someone qualified, and was prescribed buspirone, but went off of it yesterday, because her doctor thinks it's causing her to be depressed. She's on klonopin for a short term transition to something else.

Today I shoveled out of my house, picked up strawberries for something she was making, grabbed roses and an orchid, her favorite snack, some treats for her cat, tiramisu, and other ingredients for cooking in. Oh, and I managed to find her a Wii.

She wanted to go out, but we didn't have much time to make this particular restaurant in time for a movie, and when I said I didn't think it would work, and couldn't come up with a plan in thirty seconds, she started freaking out yet again. First I wasn't being helpful, and by the time her voice had risen to 100 dB, she was calling me a jerk and an asshole. This is without me really saying anything at all. It's like she fuels her own hysteria. One, nobody's even on the roads right now (northern VA/DC/MD,) and just getting to her place was a chore. Then I had to shovel out a space for my car once I got to her house. This is while her neighbors are getting together to free an SUV from a snowbank.

She's upset because she "just wanted to go out," but often she says she hates going out. So I called her on it, and she said she's allowed to hate going out when she feels that way, and is entitled to really want to go out other times.

I'm trying to learn how to effectively deal with her social anxiety and depression, but the spoiled behavior is killing me.

It hasn't always been like this, and her brother-in-law has told me that her sister also has certain elements of a selfish streak too.

After hearing this, I'm going to point to what I have already said in this thread.

 

[UberNeuman]

Cat, you can do as much as you can to work with her on her problems - and I really wish you the best of luck - but sometimes....

you've got to walk away....

Question is, how much are you will to put up with...

 

[slikmunks]

haha, i read 'soiled' and depressed loved one...

but take a break away from them, do something else for a day or two. get some space.

 

[Dirigible]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Cat

...

After hearing this, I'm going to point to what I have already said in this thread.

I'm going to agree with Astaroth33 on this one.

 

[Tuktuk]

Wow I thought you were talking about someone you're stuck with (sister, cousin, someone like that). If this is your girlfriend dump her, you're just wasting your time. She has serious issues she needs to work out before getting in a relationship.

 

[k1pp3r]

Originally posted by: Cat
She went off of Effexor two months ago, but weaned herself off of it without consulting a doctor. Recently she talked to someone qualified, and was prescribed buspirone, but went off of it yesterday, because her doctor thinks it's causing her to be depressed. She's on klonopin for a short term transition to something else.

Today I shoveled out of my house, picked up strawberries for something she was making, grabbed roses and an orchid, her favorite snack, some treats for her cat, tiramisu, and other ingredients for cooking in. Oh, and I managed to find her a Wii.

She wanted to go out, but we didn't have much time to make this particular restaurant in time for a movie, and when I said I didn't think it would work, and couldn't come up with a plan in thirty seconds, she started freaking out yet again. First I wasn't being helpful, and by the time her voice had risen to 100 dB, she was calling me a jerk and an asshole. This is without me really saying anything at all. It's like she fuels her own hysteria. One, nobody's even on the roads right now (northern VA/DC/MD,) and just getting to her place was a chore. Then I had to shovel out a space for my car once I got to her house. This is while her neighbors are getting together to free an SUV from a snowbank.

She's upset because she "just wanted to go out," but often she says she hates going out. So I called her on it, and she said she's allowed to hate going out when she feels that way, and is entitled to really want to go out other times.

I'm trying to learn how to effectively deal with her social anxiety and depression, but the spoiled behavior is killing me.

It hasn't always been like this, and her brother-in-law has told me that her sister also has certain elements of a selfish streak too.

WOW!

You are in for a LONG uphill (we are talking vertical) challenge here. If she gets, and i do mean IF, on the right meds, it will be months, possibly years of therapy and dedicated everyday use of meds for her to get her head on straight.

The boat i found myself in was simply, i put up with it for as long as i could, but then i realized that there are people out there halfway normal.

Best of luck to you.

 

[AmerDoux]

certainly sounds like this person needs some meds adjusted but you also have to realize this person may never actually become a fully normal functioning individual even with good meds and therapy. you need to decide how invested you are in this relationship.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Cat
She went off of Effexor two months ago, but weaned herself off of it without consulting a doctor. Recently she talked to someone qualified, and was prescribed buspirone, but went off of it yesterday, because her doctor thinks it's causing her to be depressed. She's on klonopin for a short term transition to something else.

Today I shoveled out of my house, picked up strawberries for something she was making, grabbed roses and an orchid, her favorite snack, some treats for her cat, tiramisu, and other ingredients for cooking in. Oh, and I managed to find her a Wii.

She wanted to go out, but we didn't have much time to make this particular restaurant in time for a movie, and when I said I didn't think it would work, and couldn't come up with a plan in thirty seconds, she started freaking out yet again. First I wasn't being helpful, and by the time her voice had risen to 100 dB, she was calling me a jerk and an asshole. This is without me really saying anything at all. It's like she fuels her own hysteria. One, nobody's even on the roads right now (northern VA/DC/MD,) and just getting to her place was a chore. Then I had to shovel out a space for my car once I got to her house. This is while her neighbors are getting together to free an SUV from a snowbank.

She's upset because she "just wanted to go out," but often she says she hates going out. So I called her on it, and she said she's allowed to hate going out when she feels that way, and is entitled to really want to go out other times.

I'm trying to learn how to effectively deal with her social anxiety and depression, but the spoiled behavior is killing me.

It hasn't always been like this, and her brother-in-law has told me that her sister also has certain elements of a selfish streak too.

After hearing this, I'm going to point to what I have already said in this thread.

seriously, run away. i spent years married to a nut like this and its not anywhere near worth putting up with, and hell, we have *kids* together.

in fact

shes freaked out 4 times in the last 40 minutes at me. run

run fast. every time she said shed try to do something to get "better" it never happened.

just go.

 

[Bryophyte]

Does she meet any of the criteria of this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Does she meet any of the criteria of this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

my ex did

its too creepy to read again, but i had a book on it called "I hate you! dont leave me"

i wouldnt wish it on anyone, to be honest.