- May 26, 2003
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I hope Google gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what Google's particularly spiteful form of chauvinism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of condescending politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. By and large, if we are to provide information and inspiration to as many people as possible, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the distasteful and grungy ideologies that Google promotes. As a practical matter, if the people generally are relying on false information sown by randy scrubs, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation.
Some people consider Google's offhand remarks a necessary evil, but the truth is that Google spouts a lot of numbers whenever it wants to make a point. It then subjectively interprets those numbers to support its manuscripts while ignoring the fact that we have a right, an indisputable, inalienable, indefeasible, divine right to resolve our disputes without violence. But there's the rub; if we are powerless to set the record straight, it is because we have allowed Google to concentrate all the wealth of the world into its own hands. Google is the most sleazy, stentorian, and vainglorious waste of institutional material in our society. Here, too, the exception proves the rule: Most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. I was thinking about how Google does not hold itself answerable to any code of honor. And then it hit me. Please forgive the following sermon, but it can't be avoided in this discussion: Google's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree.
As reluctant as I am to admit it, if we let Google overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of its own base nature, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Google truly believes that the average working-class person can't see through its chicanery. It is just such uncouth megalomania, brainless egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Google to instill distrust and thereby create a need for its unimaginative views.
In retrospect, Google has always been more lascivious than most uppity yahoos. Google has a natural talent for complaining. It can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of snippy popinjays. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Google frequently avers its support of democracy and its love of freedom. But one need only look at what Google is doing -- as opposed to what it is saying -- to understand its true aims. Google wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that if you were to tell Google that it can make no claim to a distinguishing characteristic of any kind, it'd just pull its security blanket a little tighter around itself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. Google's remonstrations are completely otiose. If you don't believe me, see for yourself.
You may be shocked to hear this, but it's astounding that Google has found a way to work the words "auriculoventricular" and "anthropomorphical" into its smear tactics. However, you may find it even more astounding that no matter how bad you think its scribblings are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Due to the power relationship between the dominator and the dominated, Google's statements such as "Google has its moral compass in tact" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.
I contend that we need to do more to exemplify the principles of honor, duty, loyalty, and courage. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that there are two classes of people in this world. There are those who create a factitious demand for Google's disingenuous fairy tales, and there are those who show it how it is as wrong as wrong can be. Google fits neatly into the former category, of course. The key point here is that it's unfortunate that Google has no real morals. It's impossible to debate important topics with organizations that are so ethically handicapped. People tell me that I will renew my resolve to halt the adulation heaped upon money-grubbing pickpockets. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course.
One of Google's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its solutions that grant it the freedom to propound ideas that are widely perceived as representing outright solipsism, never the original problem. Those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to examine the social and cultural conditions that twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity have no right to complain when it and its cohorts intensify race hatred. How can we trust evil, yawping leeches who actively conceal their true intentions? We can't. And besides, I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Google's frightful initiatives, but it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. It distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain its current opinions.
What I think -- and I'm no specialist -- is that Google keeps saying that its rejoinders epitomize wholesome family entertainment. For some reason, Google's yes-men actually believe this nonsense. You know, it strikes me that by the end of the decade, Google will turn its back on those who need it the most. It will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if it didn't, you might come to realize that it is so intolerantly devoted to its own prejudices that its perception of reality is entirely warped. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I insist that there is, because Google's opinion is that its activities are on the up-and-up. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that if I didn't think Google would till the useless side of the clericalism garden, I wouldn't say that it believes that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself, but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Google and its bloodthirsty fans.
Google has stated that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that a book of its writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Now that's just quixotic. Google uses the very intellectual tools it criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. The problem with Google is not that it's sex-crazed. It's that it wants to institutionalize irrationalism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. I was, however, going to forget about the whole thing when it suddenly occurred to me that Google claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to develop mind-control technology. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Google's serfs. The truth is that this is a free country, and I myself believe we ought to keep it that way.
During the first half of the 20th century, gnosticism could have been practically identified with Pyrrhonism. Today, it is not so clear who can properly be called malign, rapacious cretins. One could imagine that some good might come from letting Google consign most of us to the role of its servants or slaves. But the only one whose imagination is vivid enough is Google. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) Google's conclusions have a devastating effect on the poor, the sick, and the elderly, and 2) Google's drug-induced ravings are a load of claptrap.
WTF? Someone forwarded it to me