Depressed beyond belief...WTF?? Nobody HOME? whatever....

[Raincity]

Just hang in there man, this day will be over before you realize it and a better day will come tomorrow with clear thoughts.. Want to talk this out over a few beers in next couple of days let me know.

Rain

 

[911paramedic]

this "DAY" has been going on for months. I am tired.

 

[Scuttle]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic

Sarah's personality has not changed since the crash, and she has a positive outlook on her future and a wonderful smile that can light up a room.

A beautiful letter, and shows that you have saved lives and in this case also kept a family whole...without you the family may have been torn apart. You were one man in the team, but you were part of that team that saved her and nothing should ever detract from that, or any of the other things you've achieved in your life.

I am seriously wondering about tomorrow, and if it is all worth it or just a farce. I hate to talk like this with all the religious people in here but I am scared, alone, and tired.

NO! No no no! *hits you on head with "Where's Waldo?" book*

Suicide isn't an option, it never is. Having considered suicide several times during the past few years it's not even worth thinking over and it does NOTHING to help the depression. You have loving and caring friends here at AT, you have friends and family in real life that love you. If you feel alone, talk to them, maybe not about what you're feeling, but talk to them and realise how much you mean to some people.

Cheers,

~Scutt

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic
I am seriously wondering about tomorrow, and if it is all worth it or just a farce. I hate to talk like this with all the religious people in here but I am scared, alone, and tired.

Us religious folk know how you feel too, and we are pulling for you. I'll be praying for you tonight, and I hope to see you on-line tomorrow. PM me, e-mail me, or whatever, if you need to talk to another human. Heck, PM me your phone number and I'll call you up. Just don't give up on life. You feel like crap now, but it is in the lows that you can really see the highs if you look.

Ryan

 

[PowerEngineer]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic
this "DAY" has been going on for months. I am tired.

Then something needs to be changed. I really think you need a second opinion if your psychologist hasn't prescribed you some temporary anti-depressents to help you through this tough time.

 

[Turin39789]

I know the feeling, and no I don't have an answer. Life goes on and so do you, even when you don't know why. On those days that are not really bad for me I try and notice happiness in others, and see that someday I will have that. When life is boiled down the important things are the small simple things. I have all but given up on finding the big things that I can do to improve the world and just enjoy the sunshine and good books. But these are just my ramblings, after such a major hit to your self image, it would be wise to do some intensive counseling and work through it. Be honest with your therapist and with yourself.




If nothing else, go to sleep with zombo.com loaded nearby

 

[911paramedic]

I have to feel that I feel really lost right now, at about 11:00PM. I know I have saved many lives in my career, but that does not change the fact that I feel like sh!t.

 

[loup garou]

911paramedic:

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. Several of my friends are paramedics, and this is a strange coincidence because it sounds like one of my friend's situations kind of in reverse. He got in a bad motorcycle accident (sideswiped by a drunk driver in a jacked up truck), got a whole lot of metal in his arm, and was stuck in bed for months. He got severely depressed, then took a basic class to try something new (he had been a waiter previously). He was immediately drawn into emergency medicine and put more energy into becoming a paramedic than I have ever seen him exert. It's amazing how much yall can love your jobs. Seriously, I am incredibly proud of him, and of all paramedics and other emergency medical workers because of the gruesome and often dangerous situations they are faced with everyday and the general lack of appreciation for what they face (my friend and the hospital he works for are currently being sued by a person whose life he saved...and no, it has nothing to do with his performance, just something she said he said :|).

Anyways, to the point of all this...the reason I mention my friend is because as much as he loves being a paramedic, he really wants to get into nursing. Now I don't know too much about nursing (after 4 or 5 years of him talking codes and medical jargon, I'm finally starting to get the paramedic-speak down), but he seems to be dead set on becoming a nurse (I forget which, he says it is an incredibly well-paying position, though). Are you at all interested in something like that as a career change? I know going back to school can be a big change and I don't know how much your injury affects your mobility, but what about that, or even starting medical school (although for some reason sooo many of the paramedics I know don't want to be doctors)? Just reminding you that there are other paths out there, as I'm sure you know.

Hope you feel better.

Patrick

 

[oLLie]

Keep your chin up, good things come to those who've got the patience to wait it out. Don't make mountains out of mole hills; relax, slow down, take life one day at a time. Don't sweat the small stuff... you'll be ok.

I see you've got howstuffworks linked in your profile, why not busy yourself with some cool project stuff? Do it yourself stuff is pretty neat.

Like the guy above suggested, perhaps you'd be interested in going back to school? Being a student is a great thing, man.

 

[PowerEngineer]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic
I have to feel that I feel really lost right now, at about 11:00PM. I was a cutter in the past (see the pictures above in the link) and really confused right now.

I know I have saved many lives in my career, but that does not change the fact that I feel like sh!t.

I'm sure that as a paramedic you saw many people who were temporarily overwhelmed by their situation; I'm sure they were confused and felt like sh!t. Seeing this, I know you've encouraged people to "hang in there" because given time they can come to grips with whatever troubles life has dealt them. 911, this too shall pass -- if you give yourself sufficient time and take advantage of the help others can provide.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Ask your local doctor if there is a gathering of depressed people somewhere, or try talking to heavily depressed people on the internet. It doesn't change the situation, but it can change your point of view, even if just for a while. It's how I pulled through a few times. When you're depressed 90% of the time you know how someone else will feel, and you will be able to support that person better than one who doesn't know. Depression does not have to mean giving up, although you may come close to it several times.

Push on, every person you help will give your 'soul'/mind some rest. (Note that I am not religious) Humor will come back, eventhough it will probably be in a bitter form. You've had a medical training, try getting a sort of councelling job at the hospital. You will still be helping people who are in need, you will just not be the first person to reach them anymore. Instead you will be their rock when they have to psychologically recover.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Being alive alone is the best reason not to be depressed.

 

[911paramedic]

 

[Gaard]

After a year of recovery Sarah is still working hard to get stronger every day. After seven surgeries, Sarah has metal throughout her body. Sarah's neck was fused and she has a metal plate atteching her sping to the base of her skull, her wrist has a pin holding a bone graft together, a metal rod was inserted in her femur, a metal wire surrounds her knee cap, and a metal plate and screws is attached to fuse her rught ankle. Sarah has lost half of the movement in her neck, walks with a limp, and has trouble walking long distances, and suffers from ached and pains that will be with her from now on. Sarah's personality has not changed since the crash, and she has a positive outlook on her future and a wonderful smile that can light up a room.

You might want to look at this paragraph again and follow her example. You sound messed up in the head...and that's not a criticism. I know you're an intelligent person from reading your posts...obviously you know you need to seek help. You might want to get some sleep and call someone in the morning...there are 24-hour numbers you can call also if you feel like talking to someone right now. Good luck to you.

 

[911paramedic]

God I feel like a schmuck right now...

 

[p0ntif]

911: Sleep dude. Sometimes, I get waves of depression, and I wonder if life is really worth going through. I go to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. And things seem better in the morning for some reason. If you are feeling, lost scared and alone now . . . sleep. See how you feel in the morning. go outside in the morning and commune with nature. feel the grass beneath you, taste the air . . . feel the sun on your face. Listen to the animals and avians, watch ants . . . just marvel at nature. For some reason, that always boosts me. Sleep tonight, and just go outside for a half and hour and do those things. then see how you feel

 

[PHiuR]

hang in there man.... and something that almost always works for me when im depressed is listening to music that i like... try listening to some calm, smooth flowing music.... please man hang in there... we are here for you

-dave

 

[911paramedic]

Originally posted by: p0ntif
911: Sleep dude. Sometimes, I get waves of depression, and I wonder if life is really worth going through. I go to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. And things seem better in the morning for some reason. If you are feeling, lost scared and alone now . . . sleep. See how you feel in the morning. go outside in the morning and commune with nature. feel the grass beneath you, taste the air . . . feel the sun on your face. Listen to the animals and avians, watch ants . . . just marvel at nature. For some reason, that always boosts me. Sleep tonight, and just go outside for a half and hour and do those things. then see how you feel

I have been doing the sleep thing for months now. I am at the end of my option rope if you know what I mean.

 

[911paramedic]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic

Originally posted by: 911paramedic
I am going to hate myself later, but please give me some help.

My dispatch is 702-384-3400 (employee 1972)

I could really use some help before I am too bad off to ask for help. God I feel like a schmuck right now...

I will call them myself, but I am too embarassed.

 

[911paramedic]

Originally posted by: 911paramedic

Originally posted by: 911paramedic

Originally posted by: 911paramedic
I am going to hate myself later, but please give me some help.

My dispatch is 702-384-3400 (employee 1972)

I could really use some help before I am too bad off to ask for help. God I feel like a schmuck right now...

I will call them myself, but I am too embarassed.

Please at least give me my dignity and make this call for me. You can say you are a friend from out of state.

Please.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: p0ntif
911: Sleep dude. Sometimes, I get waves of depression, and I wonder if life is really worth going through. I go to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. And things seem better in the morning for some reason. If you are feeling, lost scared and alone now . . . sleep. See how you feel in the morning. go outside in the morning and commune with nature. feel the grass beneath you, taste the air . . . feel the sun on your face. Listen to the animals and avians, watch ants . . . just marvel at nature. For some reason, that always boosts me. Sleep tonight, and just go outside for a half and hour and do those things. then see how you feel

If it's better in the morning it was a wave of sadness, not depression.

Anyone contacting him? I'm at work at the moment so I don't have much time to call, especially not intercontinental. Will that phone nr. work internationally too? As in: +1-702-384-3400?

 

[Turin39789]

what should I say?

 

[Rallispec]

i am on the phone with them

 

[rgwalt]

I called, and someone else is on the line giving the dispatch the information.

Situation is under control. Sit tight buddy.

Ryan

 

[Turin39789]

do you want someone to talk to or someone to ask for help?