Red Dawn Quote:
<< The way I see it many of you put to much emphasis on Sex and love. You say you want it to be special, well having sex with someone you love is special, but having sex with someone you don't love is still pretty damn good. >>
I suppose that is true, and I definitely agree that we put too much emphasis on "Sex and Love." I guess what you are saying is: sex does not equal love and love does not equal sex.
But I would say it slightly differently. I would say that sex is, a should be, a unique subset of love between a man and a woman that occurs only in the context of a heartfelt, lifelong (hopefully) commitment to each other. I guess I'll just "cut and paste" from my response to Arkitech's thread called "Random Thoughts on Monogamy."
<< Monogamy Rocks.
Practiced monogamy would virtually eliminate STD's.
Practiced monogamy, as a general principle, produces the most stable offspring who become the most productive members of society.
Practiced monogamy teaches us what real love is. If you believe that love is nothing more than a mask for sexual, animal instinct, then this point will make no sense to you. When you give your sexuality entirely and unreservedly to one and only one other person, you take a step of humility and risk. You are yielding control over a part of your life that typically controls the lower animals and many humans. Without that yielding and commitment, most people will struggle to understand real love, which in its highest form has nothing to do with sexuality.
On a practical level, people tend to define freedom as "the ability to indulge my desires." That is not freedom. I begin to experience true freedom for the first time when, in the face of desires that are in and of themselves natural, I can, as an act of will, choose to say, "No." Then, for the first time, I am not driven by my own desires. I am driving them. For most people, there is no better way to achieve this freedom without challenging the strongest non-essential animal desire of all (sex) head on and choosing as an act of volition to redirect it into a higher love, a love of life-long, focused commitment.
By saying "No" to all others, I say "Yes" to my wife in a way that is powerful and unique. That is love. >>
Anyway, that's how I look at it. Of course, I am influenced by religious factors. In addition to those, I see many practical reasons why "abstinence until monogamy" are to be preferred. Hopefully the post I quoted illustrates that some.