Dilbert fans: Favorite Dilbert quotes?

[Avatar26]

Mine is: "Nothing improves a bad mood like spreading it."

 

[TheAudit]

I don't have a quote but my favorite Dilbert strip that I can remember is -
The manager calls Dogbert's Tech Support and asks why, "The internet is slow. What causes that?" Dogbert's reply is that it can only be caused by porn and, "I'll need your name for our records." The manager hangs up.

 

[ZeroNine8]

"Out! Out! Demons of stupidity!"

 

[dabuddha]

The one where they give the boss a etch and sketch and he thinks its a laptop. They tell him to reset it, he has to shake it!

 

[MegaloManiaK]

So many favorites.

Secretary: "My son is failing all his classes, im hopeing he can get a job in computers"
Dilbert: "You mean like carrying them?"

One i have on my cube has wally at a computer and a "tinkle tinkle" sound behind him. He thinks "Boss Approcing"

Boss: "Thanks for the magic management necklace! I have to admit that i doubted its powers."
Boss: "But since ive been wearing it i haven't seen a single employee who wasn't hard at work."

My current boss wears something like 6 cards around his neck and you can hear him a mile away. I put the cartoon up to mock him.

 

[DurocShark]

I love the one where the PHB asks for an upgrade of his computer. Dilbert points out that the computer is the cardboard samples that came with the furniture, so the PHB asks if he should buy new furniture.

 

[oznerol]

Originally posted by: Avatar26
Mine is: "Nothing improves a bad mood like spreading it."

Um, dude, your quote isn't from Dilbert.

It's from Calvin and Hobbes....

:beer:

 

[SWScorch]

I like the one where Dilbert works at a restaurant, but he gets fired because everytime he carried a bowl of hot soup, his thumb would slip into the soup and he'd burn himself and drop it. Then he says "I blam the soup." and Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup!"

 

[CrackRabbit]

At my old job we were using extremely outdated equipment (an HP VAX system and an appleII CX for example) to do inventory in a storage room at a large university. We had this Dilbert comic posted on our wall. We often contemplated throwing the junk computers off the roof of the building.


CrackRabbit

 

[Avatar26]

Originally posted by: ducci

Originally posted by: Avatar26
Mine is: "Nothing improves a bad mood like spreading it."

Um, dude, your quote isn't from Dilbert.

It's from Calvin and Hobbes....

:beer:

/Slaps forehead
Memory is the first thing to go...
Oh well, keep runnin' with it folks. Good ones so far.

 

[MrMilney]

"What did I say that sounded like 'tell me about you day?'" - Dogbert

 

[ReiAyanami]

"BAH!" -Dogbert

 

[ReiAyanami]

"Your shower is ready. I turned it on last night." Dogbert to Dilbert waking up

 

[XZeroII]

In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.