Discuss solutions to children misbehaving in restaurants

[Kaido]

Which is why you go directly to the management.

"If you wish to allow them to turn your steakhouse into a mcdonalds, then i will take my business to a steakhouse that wants to be a steakhouse.."

Yeah but there's also politics involved - it's difficult for a manager to go up to a paying customer in public and tell them to discipline their kids. If you're careful about it, you can do something like offer them a free kid's dessert to calm them down (temporarily) or a gift card or raincheck or dinner on the house or something, because it's really awkward having to say that to a customer in-person. You never know if the person is going to explode and cause a scene or what...and if the parents are too oblivious to realize that their kids are bothering other paying customers and ruining the atmosphere, then they will probably throw a fit themselves when they're politely asked to take care of the situation

And for the record, I love kids - I just also realize there's a time and a place for everything, and letting kids run wild in a decidedly more adult-oriented place is not really a nice thing to do. I've got some friends who handle it pretty well - they'll take their kids out to eat at a nice place occasionally, but as soon as the whining starts, they pack up and leave. Their kids are slowly getting the message that the fun is over if they act up, and they can almost make it to dessert now without throwing a fit :awe:

 

[GiggleGirl]

i always dreaded taking my kids out to restaurants when they were younger. i'm the type that wouldn't want to ruin others dining experiences with my screaming kids.

a few times at the Olive Garden that we visit often, two of mine started throwing tantrums before our food was served. i asked the waiter to just pack it up to go. oh well, we ate it at home...big deal

this is the exact proper way to handle the situation. wrap it up and get to gettin! good choice!

 

[Kaido]

I disagree with this. I don't care if it's McDonalds, or Ruth's Chris; kids should behave properly. Just because it's a fast food joint doesn't mean it a free for all. Keep your voice down, keep your feet off the seats, and sit in your seat until everyone's finished eating. The rules don't change just because you're in a inexpensive restaurant.

I think the venue changes the rules. I expect kids to run amuck at McDonalds. I don't expect them to do that at Ruth's Chris. I expect kids to go nuts at a Disney movie. I don't expect them to go nuts when I'm watching Batman: The Dark Knight.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

As a parent, I have mixed feelings about kids in restaurants. To some extent, kids are free radicals. Sometimes there is just is no controlling them. In those instances, I would advocate that the parents remove the child from the restaurant, and possibly take their meal to go.

On the other hand, all patrons of so called "family friendly" restaurants need to be a little tolerant of kid behavior. If a kid is walking around, playing with his food a little bit, laughing, etc., suck it up and deal with it. Or better yet, ask if you can be moved to a different table where you won't be "affected."

In short, I think patrons with and without kids need to be considerate of one another. If your child is throwing a fit, take em out. But if some a-hole at the next table can't take junior laughing loudly and acting like a happy kid, kindly tell said a-hole to suck it or leave.

And for the record, having kids does not automatically bar anyone from going to a common restaurant. Its not as though you will enjoy your moons over my hammy any less, simply because a kid in the next booth happens to be enjoying life a bit.

 

[disappoint]

The problem is bad parenting. I seriously believe parenting should be a required course to graduate high school. Why is parenting not taught? It's as important as any other subject in my book. Misbehaved children will become misbehaving adults who raise misbehaving children and the cycle continues.

Parents pay no attention to their kids when they do something right. When they do something wrong, the kids get all the attention in the world. Children crave attention, and even negative attention is better than none at all to them.

How many times have you seen a child throw a temper tantrum that they want something and the parent finally gives in just to shut them up? This teaches the child that when they want something, all they have to do is throw a temper tantrum. It reinforces bad behavior. Who is in charge? The kid is, he just told the parent what to do. Give him what he wants or he'll keep screaming. Parents, by giving in, are giving up control. It's simple, when your kid screams, DON'T give him what he wants. Parents don't get this, because most parents are dumber than their own children. When the child's instinct outwits the parents intellect, you've got quite the dimwitted parent there. This is why parents should be taught how to be parents. Because most out there just don't know how to properly raise a child. Everyone doesn't know this, but they sure as hell should.

And no you don't need to resort to physical violence to get your kid to behave. Unless you've got the IQ of a neanderthal. Yes I'm looking directly at you "high IQ" SP33Demon.

 

[lxskllr]

I think the venue changes the rules. I expect kids to run amuck at McDonalds. I don't expect them to do that at Ruth's Chris. I expect kids to go nuts at a Disney movie. I don't expect them to go nuts when I'm watching Batman: The Dark Knight.

So where is it they learn proper behavior? It's not ok for adults to act like asses at McDonalds, so why should it be ok for kids? It isn't a playground, it's a restaurant. The only eating establishment I can think of where wildish behavior's acceptable is Chuckie Cheese, and that's really just a playground that serves food, not a real restaurant.

 

[Kaido]

As a parent, I have mixed feelings about kids in restaurants. TGo some extent, kids are free radicals. Sometimes their just is no controlling them. In those instances, I would advocate that the parents remove the child from the restaurant, and possibly take their meal to go.

On the other hand, all patrons of so called "family friendly" restaurants need to be a little tolerant of kid behavior. If a kid is walking aound, playing with his food a little bit, laughing, etc., suck it up and deal with it. Or better yet, ask if you can be moved to a different table where you won't be "affected."

In short, I think patrons with and without kids need to be considerate of one another. If your child is throwing a fit, take em out. But if some a-hole at the next table can;t take junior laughing loudly and acting like a happy kid, kindly tell said a-hole to suck it or leave.

And for the record, having kids does not automatically bar anyone from going to a common restaurant. Its not as though you will enjoy your moons of my hammy any less, simply because a kid in the next booth happens to be enjoying life a bit.

Yeah, I think the type of restaurant is important - don't go to Friendly's and expect a high-end dining experience I'm not at all opposed to kids enjoying themselves, but I saw some movie recently - I think it was Avatar - and the parents had 3 little kids just SCREAMING at the top of their lungs and talking non-stop, and walking around poking people in the aisles while they just sat there doing nothing. Like 5 people asked them throughout the movie to take care of it and they just ignored them. Super frustrating. I think that movie was like $16 a ticket too. I think there's just a line and some people don't recognize or don't care about that line, you know?

 

[IGBT]

it's actually a failure on the parents end. they're supposed to be supervising their spawn. If they're not up to the job, they fail as parents.

 

[Kaido]

So where is it they learn proper behavior? It's not ok for adults to act like at McDonalds, so why should it be ok for kids? It isn't a playground, it's a restaurant. The only eating establishment I can think of where wildish behavior's acceptable is Chuckie Cheese, and that's really just a playground that serves food, not a real restaurant.

Ruth's Chris doesn't have toys, kiddie food, and a playscape with a ball pit like McDonald's does. Take them to Denny's or Friendly's if you want to adjust them to a nicer dining experience - it has some fun stuff for kids like coloring books, but you also have to sit down and there's no playpen available.

 

[Kaido]

it's actually a failure on the parents end. they're supposed to be supervising their spawn. If they're not up to the job, they fail as parents.

Do they respawn if they start acting up? :sneaky:

 

[lxskllr]

Ruth's Chris doesn't have toys, kiddie food, and a playscape with a ball pit like McDonald's does. Take them to Denny's or Friendly's if you want to adjust them to a nicer dining experience - it has some fun stuff for kids like coloring books, but you also have to sit down and there's no playpen available.

There's a discreet play area at McDonalds, and it isn't in the main dining area. Your house has a play area too, but it doesn't extend into the formal dining room, or living room. I've always taken my kids to niceish restaurants(high end casual), and they've always behaved very well. The same as at McDonalds. Rules are rules. You behave yourself in a restaurant, and you play in a playground. Other than the Chuckie Cheese example above, the 2 areas should never overlap.

People that let their kids do what they want at McDonalds are the same people that have irritating kids at nice restaurants. The kids haven't been properly raised.

 

[Kaido]

There's a discreet play area at McDonalds, and it isn't in the main dining area. Your house has a play area too, but it doesn't extend into the formal dining room, or living room. I've always taken my kids to niceish restaurants(high end casual), and they've always behaved very well. The same as at McDonalds. Rules are rules. You behave yourself in a restaurant, and you play in a playground. Other than the Chuckie Cheese example above, the 2 areas should never overlap.

People that let their kids do what they want at McDonalds are the same people that have irritating kids at nice restaurants. The kids haven't been properly raised.

I dunno, McDonalds is about on-par with Chuckie Cheese in my book - so I don't expect a nice, quiet, formal dining experience at either

 

[gaidensensei]

Pretty late in the topic. I don't have any kids to date, but from my experience - which isn't much.. Working as a math instructor during college days that has seen countless children aged 4-6+, I would have some backup plans.

I think many children are representative of their personalities. I've seen 4 year olds who were quiet and have mature aura about them, seriously were quiet working on quantum physics or the secret to life in their minds.

Assuming that I don't raise spoiled children - which I will try my best not to.

If it was my kid, I'd buy some of the kid's favorite action figures or girl toy, keep it hidden in the car for emergencies. Some more back at home incase I need to resupply. Should be a good temp solution IMO, most children seem to be drawn to objects they are unfamiliar with.

If it's someone else's kid.. looks like you guys have that part figured out. A simple word exchange with their parents after an attempt to see if you can put an end to it, otherwise talk to the waiter for re-seating.
I don't think it's necessary to teach another person how they must raise their kid, they probably don't care for your opinion anyways. Unless it's one of those 1 in a million that it's necessary and the parents are willing to comply. To each their own.

 

[disappoint]

I don't think it's necessary to teach another person how they must raise their kid, they probably don't care for your opinion anyways. Unless it's one of those 1 in a million that it's necessary and the parents are willing to comply. To each their own.

In my opinion it is necessary and should be mandatory learning before having children. If not adhered to in a public place the parents should be fined. Like littering. That will give them incentive to comply.

 

[bunnyfubbles]

A. Don't go to shitty restaurants

B. If you can't go to a nicer place, go to a place for adults (ie it has a bar, and then eat in the bar area where families won't be seated)

C. Don't go out to eat when everyone else does - most kids have bedtimes, try going out to eat later. Heck, I've even had a lot of luck eating early, all the sheeples try to show up to eat at a place around 5:30-7, showing up at 5 will generally get you seated, served, and out the door before most people start showing up (this also helps prevent waiting to be seated).

D. Again, if you can't go to a nicer place, then go to a noisier place where noisy children will just be drowned out.

 

[gaidensensei]

In my opinion it is necessary and should be mandatory learning before having children. If not adhered to in a public place the parents should be fined. Like littering. That will give them incentive to comply.

How about if you run into an ignorant family? Dad looks like he's ex-con, munching cocktail shrimp with two hands while his kid is squirming the kiddie stool.
Hate to stereotype but I notice there is a fine connection between ignorant parents and screaming kids.

 

[disappoint]

How about if you run into an ignorant family? Dad looks like he's ex-con, munching cocktail shrimp with two hands while his kid is squirming the kiddie stool.
Hate to stereotype but I notice there is a fine connection between ignorant parents and screaming kids.

Well then the solution is simple. You go dine in a more civilized place. Have a picnic in the middle of a jungle surrounded by wild animals for example. They take care of their young lest their young get eaten. Sadly not enough human young get eaten these days. Everyone knows flying pig would say this.

 

[BigToque]

I think one big reason that parents have so much trouble with kids is they don't know how to properly apply discipline.

If you're in a store and your kid starts acting up, tell them to be quiet. If it happens again, you don't do the "I'm warning you" bullshit, you smack them on the ass and authoritatively tell them to shut up.

If you're in a restaurant, access to their precious ass is usually restricted by those pesky chairs they're sitting on, so you tell them to be quiet or you're leaving. They act up, you leave.

If you try to argue with your kid, the only thing happening is that their poor behaviour is being reinforced. When your kid is out of line, you put them in their place. The parent is in charge, and they need to know it.

 

[montypythizzle]

Leave them in the car, everyone knows this.

 

[ahenkel]

Why is it no one has said proper dinner behavior is learned at home first? Nightly dinner is where I learned please and thank you, to share, to not interrupt people, to use quiet dinner time voice. You know things that go over well in public. Sure this may not work for infants and toddlers but honestly if you can't distract and refocus them you're doing something wrong.

 

[PM650]

 

[Murloc]

the problem are parents who think that children shouldn't be controlled and that crap.
They just don't have the right idea of what education is.

Anyway, if you go to a cheap diner you can't expect anything better.
If you go to a real restaurant children shouldn't be there, because they'd complain about the food even if the plate costs 20$

 

[ShawnD1]

Ahhhh....another "I don't have kids but would know what to do if I did" thread.

When people that say these things have their own kids, they tend to say "Ohhh....I get it now."

Um no?

My brother and I would get slapped when we did stupid shit. As a result, neither of us have ever started screaming in a store or restaurant. Kids are not stupid; they're very fast learners and they avoid things that have known negative consequences.

That other parent in this thread didn't even need to slap his kids. Removing the kid from the situation and showing them that being a dick in public leads to social isolation seems to work. Unless the kid has a severe underlying problem such as autism or ADD, not being able to control the kid is totally unacceptable.

I've always taken my kids to niceish restaurants(high end casual), and they've always behaved very well. The same as at McDonalds. Rules are rules. You behave yourself in a restaurant, and you play in a playground.

One thing I remember from long ago was when one kid was being a dick in one of those ball pits and throwing balls at other kids' heads. He wasn't listening when his mother was yelling at him to stop, so his mother got into the ball pit, carried him out, and sat him next to the window. She sat next to him so he couldn't get out. After a few minutes of being forced to sit at the table with his mother, he agreed to behave himself. She let him out and he was fine after that. Good parenting doesn't need to be violent

 

[jackace]

Probably can't do this kind of thing today without going to jail, but both my parents and my grand parents would make us sit in the car and watch everyone else eat if we could not behave. It worked very well and not a single one of my siblings or cousins had to sit in the car more than twice before they started acting right in restaurants. The car would be parked next to a window so my parent or grand parent could see us in the car, but if we didn't act right we didn't eat and we sat in the car watching everyone else eat.

 

[Sea Moose]

Inspired by top 10 pet peeves about restaurants. So far, it's never happened to me in a nice restaurant, but it seems that half the time we eat at fast food chains (Applebees, etc.) I get stuck next to some family with kids that are seriously misbehaving (screaming, running around, etc.)


My first solution: turn around and tell the kids if they don't shut up, I'm calling the boogie man and monsters to hide under their bed & in their closet tonight.

Suggestions?

Answer:

Dont allow children in some restaurants.