Originally posted by: Armitage
Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Don't explain to your daughter that you did everything you could, how the ex-wife was wrong, etc. Let her form her own opinion.
Nope ... a 5 year old doesn't care about that, much less understand it. I'm just making sure I'm always here for them. My daughter has developed a real phobia about being left alone. I can't leave the room without telling her where I'm going, and then she follows me. I go out to the car for 30 seconds (10 yds from the front door) without telling her, and she's hysterical by the time I'm back.
yep something like that can really give a child a real bad mindfvck. earlier this year, my wife and i basically left our kids (at the time, 3 year old and 1 year old) to my mother-in-law (i will refer to my mother-in-law as mother) because our schedules was too busy. i work all day and my wife is in medschool. at first we took our kids to day care, but my older daughter did not like it and just wanted to stay home with us. so we ended up taking them out of day care and arranged with my mother to keep them during the week and my wife and i would come home over the weekend to see them. i really did not like the arrangement, but other circumstances made us think that it was the only way to do things at the time since my mother's house is a good 50 minute drive to work and school (in good traffic, which it rarely is in houston) and the apartment that we were staying at was basically 5-10 minutes away.
well, after 3 months of only seeing them on the weekends, my kids began to develop a phobia of people leaving. and then that phobia developed into them not wanting to get close to people. at one point, my kids did not want to play with me on friday night because (i am guessing) they knew that we were going to leave on sunday night for the week. i was surprised to see that change in my kids. it wasnt even a subtle change.
anyhow, fast forward to the present. my wife and i moved back home to my mother's house. we decided the extra drive time and the crazy gas money isnt worth our kids growing up with this arrangement screwing with their minds. the sucky thing about all this was that the apartment lease was not up, so i am basically still paying for an apartment that i am not even using (just made my last rent payment this month, yay!). my older daughter at first was very skeptical about me telling her that i am not leaving and that i am sleeping upstairs. sometimes in the middle of the night she would go into our rooms just to make sure that we are there. she'll follow me around every where at home, and when i went to work she would get depressed. but now, she realizes that i am coming home every night and she really changed. everyone in the family notices that she has been a lot happier since my wife and i moved back home.
anyhow, i think i went off in a tangent somewhere, but your situation just reminded me of this event in my life. i would not wish this upon anyone. parents should always be with their kids. the details of your divorce are unclear to me, so i do not want to comment on that. but from what you said, "wanting to relive a childhood" is definitely not a reason to break a commitment to your family. what your wife did was extremely cruel and heartless. be strong and give lots of love to your children. every thing will turn out just fine if they have plenty of love.
p.s. spoiling them rotten is not showing love.