Do nice people always finish last?

[Braznor]

Is this world so cruel?

 

[SamQuint]

It all depends on how you measure winning or finishing first. I have known many people who were poor but had a wealth of good friends. The kind of good person that if they were to ask you for any kind of favor you would never even think twice before saying yes.

 

[Pantlegz]

Most people that consider themselves nice are simply spineless pushovers and they "finish last" because they fail to either stand up for themselves or just sit there and let whatever is going to happen, happen without giving their input. They let the world pass them by the complain that they're so nice, they can't figure out why nothing good happens to them. You can be assertive and have a bit of a backbone while not being an asshole that most people envision at the opposite end of this spectrum.

 

[PingviN]

Nice guys don't finish last, but whimpy, insecure guys do.

 

[sourceninja]

...

 

[Markbnj]

Old sayings like this usually have some grain of truth. People who are more empathetic to the needs of others are probably less likely to be ruthless enough to succeed in a really big way.

 

[manimal]

I am good and I let your mom finish last. er wait.



I am not a very good alchemistimpersonator

 

[keird]

I am good and I let your mom finish last.

 

[Pantlegz]

I disagree, in my experience most people equate being an asshole with simply telling them things they didn't want to hear.

Example, I was out with friends for dinner. I order a drink and I'm told they don't have it on the menu anymore. I tell the waiter I"ll need a few minutes to figure out what I want. He comes back to say "Good news, we can make that drink still." So I order it. What he brings me is not that drink. I send it back. He brings me the exact same drink back!. I tell him this is wrong, it's not drinkable, and I don't want it. Just bring me a water.

He gets visibly upset and treats or table like crap the rest of the night. As we leave I tip nothing as he didn't keep our drinks full, he didn't replace the bread, he didn't check on us at all through the meal and I had to flag him down for the check. One of our party members stayed after to apologize for me being an asshole.

Some people are pussies, I would say you didn't do anything wrong. He made a mistake you told him you didn't like it (that whole have a backbone thing) and he got upset about it. Really sending a drink back twice shouldn't have been that big of a deal and he should have remained professional. If he didn't, he doesn't deserve a tip. I don't call that being an asshole, you didn't take a drink you didn't like it's that simple.

 

[FerrelGeek]

When my wife and I were dating, she was talking about me with her older brother. He asked a lot of the usual questions a good bro would ask his sis about the guy she was dating. Well in response to one of his questions, she replied, 'he's a really nice guy'. Her brother piped up immediately and said, 'you didn't tell him that did you???' When she said, 'no' he replied, 'good. never tell a guy he's nice, he'll think you just want to be friends'. A fair number of girls prefer the 'bad boy' or the 'reformed rebel' type.

 

[K7SN]

No Stan Musial is a great example of a nice man who contradicts that old adage.

 

[Bock]

Yes, why?
Cause the assholes will use & abuse them to get further ahead.

 

[J Rock]

It would depend on exactly how you define "nice", but generally I think nice people end up "last" in most things because their kindness and concern allows more selfish people to be "first".


An example would be surfing on a crowded beach. There might be room for 5 surfers to ride the set, but there are 25 surfers on the break... who goes first? Who doesn't get a ride?

The surfer who is "nice" allows others to have a ride, and therefore finishes last. This scenario works for cyclists and other more competitive, non-team sports also. It can further be extended to the domain of employee/employer relationship...

Here is a scenario where "nice guys" always finish last. If you don't advocate for yourself in most business relationships you will be walked all over and it will be blamed on your "stupidity". It is stupid to be nice in most business relationships when being nice consists of allowing others to take initiative first, in leu of your own contribution.

I could think of more but I think you get my point.



Here's a good question for people: Are you "nice"?

I would say that at one point I was nice but I found it was a serious detriment to my personal development, financially or otherwise. I got walked on for a bit, now I walk on those who let me :/

 

[Franz316]

I think you can be "nice" and still have an edge to you. Just like you can be confident and not be an asshole at the same time. It's the timing of when to hold your ground that matters most.

 

[Ns1]

I disagree, in my experience most people equate being an asshole with simply telling them things they didn't want to hear.

Example, I was out with friends for dinner. I order a drink and I'm told they don't have it on the menu anymore. I tell the waiter I"ll need a few minutes to figure out what I want. He comes back to say "Good news, we can make that drink still." So I order it. What he brings me is not that drink. I send it back. He brings me the exact same drink back!. I tell him this is wrong, it's not drinkable, and I don't want it. Just bring me a water.

He gets visibly upset and treats or table like crap the rest of the night. As we leave I tip nothing as he didn't keep our drinks full, he didn't replace the bread, he didn't check on us at all through the meal and I had to flag him down for the check. One of our party members stayed after to apologize for me being an asshole.

you need better dining companions.

 

[PastTense]

Poll should have been phrased differently: it should have said "usually" instead of "always".

 

[MongGrel]

This thread has some interesting insight into a few people I suppose...

 

[Ns1]

honestly if you finish last it's cuz you're a little bitch and you probably deserve it

/eThug

 

[feralkid]

Op, you shouldn't think of the phrase as pejorative; many equate it to something like "The meek shall inherit the Earth", i.e. greedy domineering jackasses will get their comeuppance, in this life, or the next.

 

[stockwiz]

Being nice does not mean being passive. A lot of people just expect things to fall in their lap without putting in any effort or taking initiative.

It takes getting older to realize this crap though.. trial and error.. if you're in your teens or early 20's and haven't figured it out that you must embrace life, because life is short and the time flies by.. that you must take the initiative, that you shouldn't be worried about failure or what people think of you.. I'm here to tell you. For the most part, things will not just fall in your lap. If you want something, you must take a series of steps to acquire it. Have discipline. Master your thoughts and modify them to achieve the desired result. Don't let yourself be ruled by your emotions. Think the way you want to be and your emotions will follow along. Keep trying over and over.. the more you do something the more it will become habit. We are creatures of habit... computer programs that respond to stimuli.

Don't waste time. Life is short. If you have a self defeating attitude... saying that "This is the way I am, and it's futile to change that" .. you are not going to get anywhere. You an introvert? You can retrain yourself to be an extravert. You shy? You can train yourself not to be. Just do it. Stop making excuses. Your thoughts and attitude are one of the few things in life you actually have control over. Don't give that control away.

 

[sourceninja]

...

 

[John Connor]

Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. 23 Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?”He said to them, 24 “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25 Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’
“But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’
26 “Then you will say, ‘We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’
27 “But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!’
28 “There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. 29 People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. 30 Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last.”

 

[BurnItDwn]

My Grandfather was the nicest person I haver ever met. He died reasonably wealthy (worked for the railroad, made modest income, but invested and saved wisely with my grandma), he traveled the world, he enjoyed his hobbies, he had a successful marriage of over 50 years, he had 4 kids, a dozen grandkids and got to see most of us grow up.

Nice people sometimes finish first.

 

[Nhirlathothep]

be nice or bad is not connected with " your position".

health/beauty/intelligence/starting asset/ are connected to your position.

 

[Net]

This makes me think of the work place. I think of those people that throw others under the bus. In the short term it might work, in that instant. However, they build a reputation for themselves and then it works against them.

Then I think of the people in the work place who treat people fairly. They also build a reputation for themselves and it works for them. It ends up being a long term positive effect.

I think warren buffett is a nice person and I think others respect him for his attitude on life and others.