Do you know a total loser, tell us about them

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Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,436
3,547
126
Not so much a loser as just a huge missed opportunity: There was one kid with a ton of potential. A very nice kid who had very good manners and could form relationships easily with kids his own age and those much older. He had an incredible knack for numbers and could have made a ton of money in the business world. Unfortunately he turned his talent for business into the only real money generating job for kids in that area and became a drug dealer. I understand he did quite well for himself until he was shot and killed in a gang incident when he was 18
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,522
5,343
136
College classmate, extremely bright. Could add long columns of 3-digit numbers in his head faster than you could do it on a calculator. Got a job at a bank processing checks and won the Employee of the Month award for accuracy 8 times in a row until they stopped giving it out as no one else was ever close.

Fell in love with a crazy pillpopper and they got married. No kids, probably because they spent all their time smoking pot and taking pills. Lost his job for missing too much work, and they lived in a dumpy rental paid for by her father.

...

Wow we might know the same person, haha. Sounds exactly like a friend of a friend. The drugs made him (a super-bright kid with a great job) super lazy. He & his wife got hooked on the low-level stuff & just kind of fizzled out in life.

What a waste.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,522
5,343
136
Not so much a loser as just a huge missed opportunity: There was one kid with a ton of potential. A very nice kid who had very good manners and could form relationships easily with kids his own age and those much older. He had an incredible knack for numbers and could have made a ton of money in the business world. Unfortunately he turned his talent for business into the only real money generating job for kids in that area and became a drug dealer. I understand he did quite well for himself until he was shot and killed in a gang incident when he was 18

I have several friends who went a similar route - super smart, graduated college, then did absolutely nothing with it. Works odd jobs or in things totally unrelated & under their ability. Really disappointing to have all of that power (intellectual, dipoma, etc.) & then just not do anything with it. Whatever makes you happy, I guess.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,522
5,343
136
Unfortunately I have seen many - although recently less since my wife switched jobs. The sad part of it is that almost all have the ability to make their lives better but they can't see past their own shortcomings. They suffer from a complete lack of motivation driven by the 'I suck\Thats hard' mentality. You can only talk to them and try to guide them so much before it morphs into 'being pushy' and they close down. Still I gave it a go because that is what I think a good person should do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Most I don't ever see again as we don't live in the area. I bump into one occasionally and if I'm not careful about what I tell her she'll make a comment like: 'I hate you for how good your life is.' and actually mean it.

Well-spoken; I see this often. There's a really good book on the topic called "Your own worst enemy: Breaking the habit of adult underachievement" that can help you understand it better if you ever want to learn more:

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Own-Worst.../dp/006098872X

I read it back when I was struggling with ADHD, although mine turned out to be fueled by hidden food allergies, which caused my low energy. I had a daily struggle with non-existent energy (hence becoming a computer nerd, haha). The Type-A, high-energy people of the world don't really seem to struggle with underachievement because they're just so constantly driven internally that they can't help but be successful & become workaholics. I think adult underachievers suffer a different type of problem that is more mentally driven, for whatever reason - they think they're not good enough, not worth it, etc. and it makes it really difficult to help them because they don't always have that internal motivation pushing them along.

I have a couple friends in that exact situation - smart kids, but as you put it so well, they can't see past their own shortcomings to get past their hurdles. Sometimes it's energy-related, sometimes they've grown up with parents who tell them they're no good, sometimes their "inner critic"/inner voice is just programmed to tell them not to even bother trying because they can't do it. Psychology is a weird thing, man. It almost hurts to see these people who could completely change their lives around simply by deciding to do so...they're not quadriplegic, they're not stuck in the middle of Africa in a desert somewhere, they don't have any crazy-high physical barriers to overcome...they just have to change their minds & get to work, that's it!
 
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Soundmanred

Lifer
Oct 26, 2006
10,784
6
81
I used to know a guy that fit the description.
I'm not sure if he had low self esteem or what, but he always had to talk about what he had, money, women, etc. It was off putting to the point where people would basically tell him they didn't want him around. Strangely enough he kept coming back time and time again, acting the same way and expecting different results. He seemingly thought that we would eventually come around to his odd way of thinking.
He'd show up to parties or gatherings and he would just always talk about the same things over and over. If you had a story, he had a better (or often times conflicting) story. He knew everything about everything, or so he believed. He was actually pretty smart and decently educated, but for some reason had to prove himself to no end.
Sadly he could have been a decent person. He was decent looking but drove good women away with weird ego problems and ended up with sub par relationships.
He just didn't get that nobody cared about how much money he (supposedly) had, how many women he'd been with, how hot/rich they were, or anything else.
He's pretty much a burn out now, but still tries to come around.
We're all too nice to ban him from our lives, but man that guy is annoying.
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,578
1,741
126
I have a cousin who is in his mid 50's and still lives with his mom/dad who are in their early 90s. I've never met this guy. Whenever I go to visit my aunt he runs into his upstairs bedroom. He attended my mom's funeral 2 hours before it actually began. He has never worked before, yet he is very intelligent.

Is he considered a loser or maybe he has social issues.
 

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,324
219
106
Aside from me (hiyo!), just a few assholes with sticks up their asses who still live at home in their 30s while making good money and have longer-term partners.

Wait. They live at home, have a shit ton of money and long term girlfriends they sex occasionally?

Seems like they are winning to me.
 

PastTense

Member
Jan 31, 2014
128
1
81
Well at least no one here considers the people who spend the substantial majority of their waking hours on the internet total losers.
 

Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,829
184
106
Well at least no one here considers the people who spend the substantial majority of their waking hours on the internet total losers.

Course not. We all make $100k, drive BMW M3s, and have supermodel wives with something on the side.... AND we spend a lot of time on the internet.
 

T9D

Diamond Member
Dec 1, 2001
5,320
6
0
The sad thing is that it's almost all guys. A woman even remotely looks half decent and she doesn't have to do piss, she appears well off because she just marries or moves in with some guy that is successful. So you hardly hear of any of these stories with women. You almost never see a woman taking care of a guy.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,414
1,574
126
I know these dudes with tens of thousands of posts on internet message boards. WTF basement dwelling geeks, get a life.
 

brainhulk

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2007
9,418
454
126
It takes a big man to point fingers at those less fortunate. Be it mental disability, physical handicap, illness, or just a plain run of bad luck...many folks aren't doing well due to no fault of their own. Focusing your efforts onto helping a brother out will do more than talking about their loser status.

Enjoy your schadenfreude boys!
 
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akahoovy

Golden Member
May 1, 2011
1,336
1
0
It takes a big man to point fingers at those less fortunate. Be it mental disability, physical handicap, illness, or just a plain run of bad luck...many folks aren't doing well due to no fault of their own. Focusing your efforts onto helping a brother out will do more than talking about their loser status.

Enjoy your schadenfreude boys!

Sure, bad luck happens. Sucks to have a handicap. Most people end up right where they want to be.
 

Pardus

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2000
8,197
21
81
Friend of mine is one lazy sob, he gets all kinds of aid from the government and hasn't worked in years. He sleeps till 2pm, then watches tv till 8pm and ends the day by finishing off a 6-pack.
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,578
1,741
126
Friend of mine is one lazy sob, he gets all kinds of aid from the government and hasn't worked in years. He sleeps till 2pm, then watches tv till 8pm and ends the day by finishing off a 6-pack.

Sounds like a decent fella. How does he get government assistance?

Is he an Obama supporter?
 

raildogg

Lifer
Aug 24, 2004
12,885
569
126
So let's see, according to this thread, a loser is at least one of the following:

1. Slothful
2. Lack of college education
3. Lives with parents
4. Socially awkward

I haven't seen any mention of people who are hateful or people who lie or people who scam. I guess these traits don't make it into the realm of a "loser." So we got some pretty narrow standards here for defining a so-called loser, don't we? Pretty soon this word will be used up. Maybe someone is creating another hateful term?
 
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JMapleton

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2008
4,179
2
81
Course not. We all make $100k, drive BMW M3s, and have supermodel wives with something on the side.... AND we spend a lot of time on the internet.

M3s are for paupers!!! I have an M5!!!!!
 

HeXen

Diamond Member
Dec 13, 2009
7,832
38
91
I think there are rich losers too. People that maybe started a business or whatever and did good financially but is actually a POS in everything else. I know of one that is an alcoholic, deadbeat dad, won't even help is 80+ year old mother, is racist and many other things but has money, owns several apartment complexes, a plumbing business and an ex firefighter but he's a total asshole to people....is that really success? I guess it's making it but honestly I'd have more respect for a Mcd worker that supports his family with what he has and is nice and helpful to others as apposed to treating everyone like crap.
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,578
1,741
126
I was watching a reality show the other night with chef Ramsey. They had a guy on the show who was a stay at home dad. His wife made bank too. She must have a great paying job because their home was gorgeous. They filmed him on their huge boat as well.

That's the type of woman I want!
 

WaTaGuMp

Lifer
May 10, 2001
21,207
2,506
126
I was watching a reality show the other night with chef Ramsey. They had a guy on the show who was a stay at home dad. His wife made bank too. She must have a great paying job because their home was gorgeous. They filmed him on their huge boat as well.

That's the type of woman I want!

Master Chef, the dude looks like he is going to be the asshole for this season.
 
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