Does this salad dressing taste funny to you?

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,806
46
91
Story

Student Accused Of Putting Bodily Fluids In Food

WHEATON, Ill. A student at Wheaton North High School is accused in a vulgar case of food tampering. Police say he put his bodily fluid into salad dressing in the school cafeteria.

CBS 2 news partner The Naperville Sun had the tip on the story. CBS 2's West Suburban Bureau Chief Mike Puccinelli reports a letter is going home to parents warning about the possible health hazard.

The student, a senior, is not in school at this time. School officials first learned of the case of food tampering late Tuesday.

At Wheaton North High School the mission is to create self-directed students who make sound decisions. Last week one of those students decided to do the unthinkable when officials say he spiked a container of cafeteria salad dressing with his own semen.

Police say an attempted aggravated battery arrest is imminent.

"An act occurred that could have physically harmed someone at the school, but no one was physically harmed," said Commander Joseph Eversole of the Wheaton Police Department.

Police were called into the investigation by District 200 superintendent Gary Catalani. He did not want to talk on camera and asked us to hold the story so parents would learn what happened in letters that were put in first class mail today.

But students say it's too late, and everyone knows about the incident already.

And everyone is universally repulsed.

"The whole school is disgusted," said senior Brian Corcoran.

"That's got to be the sickest thing I've ever heard in my life," said Nick Anderson, also a senior student.

"It's just pretty gross that someone would actually do that," said senior Edward Lee.

"It's been going on for a month. That's what we've all been hearing," said senior Katie Muir, but school officials say their investigation has shown that it happened just once, last Wednesday.

They say the student admitted he put the semen into a container of ranch dressing in the student commons dining area. And officials have determined that the contents could have been ingested during the last lunch period on Wednesday and during all five lunch periods on Thursday.

The superintendent sought to reassure saying, "We want to make sure every precaution is taken and we're doing that. We've changed protocols with food service containers to ensure this never happens again."

From now on the condiments in all 20 schools in the district will only be available in individual packets or in large containers, making them very difficult to tamper with.

The district notified the DuPage Department of Health, who did not return calls for comment Thursday. Many of the students are concerned, as ingesting semen can spread HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.
 

SonnyDaze

Diamond Member
Jul 31, 2004
6,867
3
76
Now some 11th grade girl will claim she got pregnant from the salad dressing.

 

shuttleboi

Senior member
Jul 5, 2004
669
0
0
Originally posted by: SonnyDaze
Now some 11th grade girl will claim she got pregnant from the salad dressing.

"You know, I usually put salad dressing deep into my birth canal. But this time, someone put sperm in the dressing. How was I to know!!"

 

Cobalt

Diamond Member
Apr 3, 2000
4,642
1
81
My high school had a basketball game against them on Friday. The people who went brought bottles of ranch dressing and signs taunting them. It was hilarious.
 

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,089
12
76
fobot.com
as disgusting as it is, the chance of it actually hurting someone is very tiny

not that they shouldn't throw the book at the scumbag
 

Zysoclaplem

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2003
8,803
0
0
So they actually have evidence he did this?
Or just certain students saying he bragged about it?
 

Encryptic

Diamond Member
May 21, 2003
8,885
0
0
Originally posted by: shuttleboi
Originally posted by: SonnyDaze
Now some 11th grade girl will claim she got pregnant from the salad dressing.

"You know, I usually put salad dressing deep into my birth canal. But this time, someone put sperm in the dressing. How was I to know!!"

Don't tell me I'm the only one who uses salad dressing as a lube....

KY works, but doesn't have the added bonus of being edible. :evil:
 

NuAlphaMan

Senior member
Aug 30, 2006
616
0
0
Someone should have know something was wrong!!!!! Salad dressing isn't supposed to be be sticky!
 
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