Dumbest thing you ever did while drunk?

[RagingBITCH]

A DWI is the stupidest and most expensive thing you can do while you're drunk

 

[Xavier434]

wow lol! I feel more sorry for the laptop.


No offense buddy, but if you are the kind of person who loses control over themselves like that then you really need to limit your alcohol intake when you hit the bars.

 

[JS80]

Spent $500 at a bar, where my company had an open tab.

 

[Mr Pickles]

Before a road trip to Atlanta with my gf's family we went to out in Ocala to do some drinking. We hung out with the older family and when it was time for their bed we took off to go to the bars to finish up a good night before leaving at 6am. So we get to the Ocala Ale House after 6 or 7 beers at the house and this little happy girly server is like "can i get you drinks? shots?! B51?! Washington Apples?! Wet Pussies?!? We stopped her at that point to inquire what we would later code name WP. To this day I still have no idea what is in a WP, it tasted like some peach schnapps, was pretty horrible, but we got on our horse and the four of us each had about three of them chased with 3 buckets of bud light in a little more than an hour. I remember walking out but dont remember the car ride home. I remember sitting in front of a TV for about 10 minutes watching someone play Madden. Then I remember walking into the bathroom and peeing, my girlfriend coming in yelling at me, falling back into the bathtub, still peeing all over myself suffocating in the shower curtain. I remember it took her like 10 minutes to get my soaked jeans off and then I blacked.

To give this story a backdrop, have you ever been treated with good southern hospitality? Her aunt's house, the house we were staying at that night, is filled with nothing but old antiques and nice things. You might actually remember the room called the living room. It was the room with the nice carpet and the nice things and you were not allowed to go in there and walk on the carpet with your shoes, let alone play in there as a kid. Well that's where we stayed - on a blowup bed in the room that was considered untouchable to anyone under 12.

The next time I woke up I was vomitting all over the nice carpet, in the absolute middle of the room. My gf was trying to get me to stop by slapping me and whispering loudly, but I just kept going. I blacked again. I woke up in the morning later than everyone else and when I saw the giant stain I had left on the carpet I freaked. Her aunt, someone I never though I would ever see angry in my entire life was pissed. Not pissed as in mad, but pissed as in quietly dissapointed mad. The worst kind of mad there is. I had to spend the next 6 days with her and the rest of the family in Atlanta. It was ackward to say the least.

 

[AmpedSilence]

threw up on a bouncer from the second floor of a bar.... yeah, they promptly threw us out.

 

[Squisher]

Drank a fifth of peppermint schnapps in the time it took to walk 13 blocks down to the fireworks on the Detroit River. We met some girls and offered to give them a ride back to their car. After the fireworks we walked back to my van...............

I was awakened by a cop beating on my driver's window. I slid into the driver's seat and the cop looked at me like I had antennas sticking out of my head. He said, I've got to move the van because there's a parade coming through. I look out and I'm parked right in the middle of the parade route and people are lining both sides of the street.

After the cop left, I looked in my rear view mirror and my face is completely covered on one side in dried chili puke. I could have pulled a Jimi Hendrix. So, here I am with large audience scrapping what looked like feces off of half my face with my finger nails all the while a parade is coming my way.

 

[PepePeru]

i know ive made worse decisions stone-cold sober.

 

[MaxDepth]

I made out with an ex-gf's mom one New Year's Eve party. I was 26 and she was 45.

Pretty awkward when I left the next morning.

 

[Steve]

A buddy of mine pissed in his hotel room's air conditioner. When asked what he was doing, he mumbled "Making water..."

 

[tidehigh]

not me, but good story. woke up real early in the morning, still drunk at a friends house. another dude is passed out on the adjacent couch. i look up and see a guy sitting on the table about 10 feet away with his pants at his ankles. quietly woke up the guy on the couch to confirm. the room really filled up with the stench of a huge pile of shit pressed between the table and this guys ass. dude gets up and walks back to the back of the house. we got up and went over there to take a look. it was a huge pile of shit pressed into the shape of an ass crack. it wasn't even the guy's house. roflmao i did.

i'm good at wandering off when drunk. i was out at a club one night, running around bumping into everybody and hitting on all the girls. got sick and started to walk to my girlfriends house. she lives about 3 miles from the club, so i figured i could make it. too bad i went in the totally opposite direction... finally figured it out when i crossed a street name i knew. i walked under the interstate, climbing fences. ripped my pants and got a huge gash on my leg from the fence. ran through the projects/homeless section of town. i was soaking wet with sweat when i realized i was about 7 miles from home. fortunately i have good friends, after about an hour of ringing peoples phones i got a ride. i was hiding in the bushes beside an office building when i got picked up. i was scared of cops and homeless people.

 

[Train]

Originally posted by: MaxDepth
I made out with an ex-gf's mom one New Year's Eve party. I was 26 and she was 45.

Pretty awkward when I left the next morning.

Thats not dumb thats frikkin SWEET!

You didnt leave until the next morning? And all you did was make out? wtf over.

 

[foghorn67]

I was at a party, didn't know the host. But the host got trashed, passed out. He woke up to go piss on his brand new HDTV. Got all over that and his DVR, DVD, etc...
Years before that, a different host left the living room, instead of turning left into a bathroom, he turned right to piss in his bedroom closet.

There was a story where I got drunk, grabbed a golf club and ran to a nearby park. I swung it wildly at nothing screaming about grizzly bears. I don't remember that though.

 

[nboy22]

Seems to be a lot of problems with people pissing in closets/clothes/electronics... Interesting.

 

[Casawi]

Originally posted by: clamum
lol

Punched holes in some ceiling tiles in a house we were renting at school, I guess. Usually if I do something dumb it was just getting sick from drinking too much.

What, what about the night you smashed that mirror in your room ? hahaha ... and ohhh fvck clamum this list goes on .. maybe for the both of us.


I once fell a sleep with my face in a Domino's Pizza. Dry pizza sauce in your face sucks.

Edit: I passed out not fell asleep.

 

[waggy]

hmm one of the dumbest would be when me and some friends decided it would be fun to tackle stuff on the way home from the bar (we walked to the bar).

the next morning we all had huge bruises all over. heh

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: tidehigh
not me, but good story. woke up real early in the morning, still drunk at a friends house. another dude is passed out on the adjacent couch. i look up and see a guy sitting on the table about 10 feet away with his pants at his ankles. quietly woke up the guy on the couch to confirm. the room really filled up with the stench of a huge pile of shit pressed between the table and this guys ass. dude gets up and walks back to the back of the house. we got up and went over there to take a look. it was a huge pile of shit pressed into the shape of an ass crack. it wasn't even the guy's house. roflmao i did.

i'm good at wandering off when drunk. i was out at a club one night, running around bumping into everybody and hitting on all the girls. got sick and started to walk to my girlfriends house. she lives about 3 miles from the club, so i figured i could make it. too bad i went in the totally opposite direction... finally figured it out when i crossed a street name i knew. i walked under the interstate, climbing fences. ripped my pants and got a huge gash on my leg from the fence. ran through the projects/homeless section of town. i was soaking wet with sweat when i realized i was about 7 miles from home. fortunately i have good friends, after about an hour of ringing peoples phones i got a ride. i was hiding in the bushes beside an office building when i got picked up. i was scared of cops and homeless people.

I'm not even kidding that I had to read that 2nd story three times AND check your profile before realizing this wasn't my roommate posting his own story. A couple years ago, he wandered off from a party, went the wrong direction, ran into and climbed over a barbed wire fence, shredding his pants in the process, and had to be picked up by a friend several miles away (on the property of the university chairman's house, no less). He still has a huge dark scar on his thigh from a barb on that fence.

 

[McGyver]

confessed to a girl that i loved her, fark!

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: Casawi

Originally posted by: clamum
lol

Punched holes in some ceiling tiles in a house we were renting at school, I guess. Usually if I do something dumb it was just getting sick from drinking too much.

What, what about the night you smashed that mirror in your room ? hahaha ... and ohhh fvck clamum this list goes on .. maybe for the both of us.


I once fell a sleep with my face in a Domino's Pizza. Dry pizza sauce in your face sucks.

Edit: I passed out not fell asleep.

Hahaha yeah I forgot about that one. I got drunk off vodka and Monster energy drink and when I woke up the next day I glanced at the floor of my room while lying in bed. Three little piles of puke. Then I noticed my elbow was cut and a little bloody and I was like "wtf". Then I see a punch of pieces of broken mirron on the floor. I must've stumbled into the damn thing in the dark, lol.

 

[TheNinja]

I went to a bar 1 night with some friends. I was pretty piss drunk, it was about 1am and my buddies decided to leave. I was talking to some girls so I said I was going to stay and catch a ride home or something. Well I'm out there dancing and drinking some more and I go to the bathroom. When I come out the girls left (if I recall correctly) or I just couldn't find them. The bar closed at 2am so I thought, "what the hell, I'll just run home, it's only about 5 blocks).
Here is where the story takes a twist. I was actually at a bar on the other side of town, which was a good 3 miles away in the opposite direction of where I thought I was. It was about 30 degrees Faherheit (so below freezing), I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt (b/c I was inside dancing) and I was fairly sweaty. So I go outside, not realizing what bar I was at and starting running the wrong way. I go for a good 6 blocks and by now my shirt is frozen to me and I don't know where the hell I am. It was one time in my life where I literally thought I might die unless I just went to a random person's door and asked for a phone call or something (this was before I had a cell phone). Alas, my pride would not allow it. I finally find this tiny shed on the corner of a lot and break the window on the door, reach through and open it. In the process I cut my hand. I huddled inside to try and warm up under the light and heater. Finally I got enough energy to run to the nearest convenience store that was still open. I walked in with a sweat frozen shirt and a bleeding hand. Luckily one of the two guys working there knew me and gave me a ride home. Awesome!

 

[StageLeft]

If you want to talk money, I once nailed a prositute and now not only pay $1500/month for my HIV medication but another $900 for our bastard in child support. Oh, and the $60 for the night.

 

[imported_LoKe]

I didn't hit on chicks I should have.

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: Train
1. I pissed in my gf's laundry basket in the middle of the night. It was white and round, kinda looked like a toilet in the dark. She woke up screaming at me and I'm all "whaaaaaaaaaat? Just let me pee, DAMN, ill be back in bed in a minute, sheeeeeeeeesh" not until morning did I realize what happened.

2. Dropped $500 at black jack in Palm Springs. Those damn waitresses kept feeding me captain and cokes. Funny thing is I thought I was up most of the time. Damn drunken math skills.

3. Dropped $700 at a strip club. Was so drunk I cant believe they didnt throw me out. I guess they liked taking my money too much.


#3 was definetly the most fun though.

First year of college, my neighbor got wasted. Mind you, he and his roommate have only known each other for 12 hours. That night, said neighbor went into roommate's room, and pissed all over laundry.

Good times.

 

[Linflas]

Almost ripped off a finger trying to pull down a street sign. I let go of it and my class ring caught on it and ripped the ring off my finger. It still creeps me out thinking about it.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

Got my best friend pregnant. (MY best friend, she wanted more).

Blew up a military truck sitting there just waiting to be blown up, i swear, if it hadn't taunted me nothing would have happened.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

I've only been really drunk once, and that was my brother's friends - we just played beer pong. On Saturday night though, I did drive while high. That probably wasn't such a good call. But I got home fine; my driving's fine as long as I know where I'm going and am on familiar roads, it seems.