Earth Destroyed in 9 Years?

necine

Diamond Member
Jan 25, 2005
3,631
0
0
Text

PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Monday September 12, 2005

By MIKE FOSTER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."
 

deftron

Lifer
Nov 17, 2000
10,868
1
0
Weekly World News = world's most reliable news source



BTW .. what's Batboy have to say about this?


 

suse920

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2005
6,889
0
0
"Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away. "
lol
 

tk149

Diamond Member
Apr 3, 2002
7,253
1
0
Originally posted by: deftron
Weekly World News = world's most reliable news source



BTW .. what's Batboy have to say about this?
:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!
Bender: Saw it coming.
 

CanOWorms

Lifer
Jul 3, 2001
12,404
2
0
Yes, it's real. I work with the Chandra X-ray Observatory. Don't worry though, we're working on a solution. We're going to wrap Earth in saran wrap.
 

Heisenberg

Lifer
Dec 21, 2001
10,621
1
0
First of all, Weekly World News == fake. Second of all, there is no Dr. Albert Sherwinski at Cambridge, at least according to a search on their site.
 

Law

Member
Feb 9, 2001
162
0
0
I'm going to set my alarm on June 1, 2014 -- Whip out my lawn chair, grab a bag of popcorn, put on my shades, and watch a massive dust cloud dissolve Earth. Neat!
 

necine

Diamond Member
Jan 25, 2005
3,631
0
0
I checked

nature.com/news
newscientist.com
scientificamerican.com

and found nothing. this must be a hoax. thanks for the info, let it die please.
 

Kalvin00

Lifer
Jan 11, 2003
12,705
5
81
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!`~~!1
 

AdamSnow

Diamond Member
Nov 21, 2002
5,736
0
76
Who cares if it's real or not?

You will probably die of something else before then... Cancer, Aids, Terrorism, Second hand smoke, etc... :laugh:
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: necine
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
I want my 10 seconds back.

Text

I was kidding... I knew it wasnt true!

har har har

Yeah, right.

I reiterate my request that you personally time-travel 9 years into the future and end your life by ingesting a litre of bleach.

- M4H
 

Aftermath

Golden Member
Sep 2, 2003
1,151
0
0
Originally posted by: CanOWorms
Yes, it's real. I work with the Chandra X-ray Observatory. Don't worry though, we're working on a solution. We're going to wrap Earth in saran wrap.


Oh good, we will not be horribly dissolved by evil space dust.






Instead we will all be suffocated by CanOWorms!


On the plus side though, we will be nice and fresh when the bastards who sent the space dust after us come to pillage the planet.
 

Hayabusa Rider

Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
Jan 26, 2000
50,879
4,267
126
I want the telescope that could see a large asteroid 6 LY away.

Man that would be sweet!
 
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