Elderly woman racist to us at starbucks, what would you do?

[slackerinabox]

My wife and family (and a student who was interviewing us) were at a Starbucks yesterday when an elderly woman rudely sat at the table we were already sitting at. We were paying customers and she was not - I asked her if she minded because this was a personal conversation and she was literally 3 inches away from me.. Her reply was "this is my neighborhood, you don't belong here and I have a right to be here and you don't." As a person of color I was livid by her assumption (based on the color of my skin, I assure you) and calmly walked to report this to the manager. Instead of hearing the 3 witnesses the manager instead took the white woman's side and suggested that I find another table, he did not speak to her at all. When my wife was obviously livid by the suggestion that WE move, he then offered us free stuff, adding insult to injury. We didn't take the free stuff, obviously.

What would you do in this situation? I knew I couldn't lose my temper because the older white woman will always get the sympathy from onlookers..

 

[SAWYER]

I would say she was a wretched and sad old bitch and to fuck off. If this is really true I would contact Starbuck's corporate and tell them what happened with the manager

 

[chitwood]

such a shitty world we live in

 

[PottedMeat]

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

then you karate chop her before she can use her crone powers on you

 

[SlitheryDee]

What I don't understand is why she chose to sit with you if she's so racist against you. Was there no other seating available? The manager's response is quite perplexing as well. I live in Louisiana, which has to be worse than wherever you are, but I would be surprised to see that happen here.

It may be a weird question, but how were you dressed? Any obvious tattoos or piercings? I'm searching for some reason they might have gotten a negative impression of you.

 

[waggy]

weird story.

 

[SAWYER]

Racism exists in every state, it is also not exclusive to white people

 

[slackerinabox]

What I don't understand is why she chose to sit with you if she's so racist against you. Was there no other seating available? The manager's response is quite perplexing as well. I live in Louisiana, which has to be worse than wherever you are, but I would be surprised to see that happen here.

NYC, the place was PACKED

It may be a weird question, but how were you dressed? Any obvious tattoos or piercings? I'm searching for some reason they might have gotten a negative impression of you.

a) I'm an indian nerd, I shave my head because I'm going bald but I was not wearing baggy pants at a starbucks (I was being interviewed so overdid 'cool but put together' a bit, ralph lauren and armani).

My wife is a caucasian special ed teacher, we're not a threatening sort: https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne...=8556f81e972277a50e86db2c4e7ad4ac&oe=56B0FD7A

 

[purbeast0]

made up story.

fixed

 

[Fanatical Meat]

Stop going there and let the old woman drive away more business.
She is free to sit any where she wants they're not reserved seats that doesn't mean she should and it doesn't mean the guy running the place made the right call.

 

[slackerinabox]

fixed

Why do you assume that it was a made up story? Because caucasian people never do any wrong and I'm looking for hand out and sympathies?

 

[purbeast0]

Why do you assume that it was a made up story? Because caucasian people never do any wrong and I'm looking for hand out and sympathies?

this is atot, you need to relax lol, stop taking it serious


So you admit you were needlessly threadcrapping a poster's real life experience?

Perknose
Forum Director

 

[skimple]

NYC, the place was PACKED

Which NYC Starbucks?

 

[twinrider1]

I think you're reading more into it than was really there. A manager just wants to avoid headaches. Maybe he thought reasoning with you was going to be easier, faster, and less noise than dealing with some old nut.
Take solace in knowing the world has made great strides. And that old lady and her ilk are not long for this world.
You were completely in the right, but there was nothing to gain by escalating.

 

[slackerinabox]

Racism exists in every state, it is also not exclusive to white people

OH, I hear you. My indian family's full of bigots too and some of the kindest people I know (including the Mrs.) are of the caucasian persuasion. Mostly it's to do with her being old i guess - how do you stand up to an old woman without getting shot by the cops?

 

[slackerinabox]

Which NYC Starbucks?

71st ave, forest hills queens

 

[SlitheryDee]

NYC, the place was PACKED



a) I'm an indian nerd, I shave my head because I'm going bald but I was not wearing baggy pants at a starbucks (I was being interviewed so overdid 'cool but put together' a bit, ralph lauren and armani).

My wife is a caucasian special ed teacher, we're not a threatening sort: https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne...=8556f81e972277a50e86db2c4e7ad4ac&oe=56B0FD7A

If anything you look like a professor of some sort. I dunno. Just chalk it up to an old racist kook I guess. I think I would drop an e-mail on starbucks corporate about the manager's response though. All other considerations aside, you had a right to the table simply due to being there first, and his answer was to have YOU move? That's bad form IMO.

 

[SP33Demon]

Move to a different neighborhood with less [insert adjective that is not like you - whites, blacks, elderly, millenials, undereducated, rich, poor]. There are always going to be people who judge you based on your [insert noun here - skin color, income, age, education, political affiliation] so I've found it's best to be with people more like myself. And by more like myself I mean rich, young, and beautiful.

 

[slackerinabox]

Stop going there and let the old woman drive away more business.
She is free to sit any where she wants they're not reserved seats that doesn't mean she should and it doesn't mean the guy running the place made the right call.

Yeah, considering I placed a complaint with corporate this morning, I won't be visiting that starbucks again.

I didn't report the manager as racist, just as indifferent to customer's concerns.

 

[NesuD]

Cranky old lady syndrome more likely. I suspect anyone regardless of nationality would have been insulted by this woman for sitting at her special table. Probably sits there everyday. That might also be why the manager was trying to accommodate her. I think in this case the race part was incidental probably was assuming you weren't native born. Not right but some people seem to think being native born or having a long native ancestry bestows extra privileges. I have a neighbor that thinks all the other neighbors have to accommodate him because he has owned his property longer than the rest of us. He doesn't like me to much because I tell him to go pound sand when he tries that with me. I personally like to shock people like that. I would have moved to a different table then found out what she was having a purchased her another and wished her a nice day.

 

[vi edit]

The only more entitled feeling demographic than teenagers are old people. Just write it off as a crotchety old woman and move on. Lots of old people are racist as shit. Just what it is.

There is no standing up to them. They aren't going to change their opinion at this point in their life. It's just a question of how big of a scene do you want to make.

 

[brianmanahan]

it sucks, but i don't really think there is anything preventing her from sitting at your table.

when people have given me crap in the past i have just left. i don't care about "being right", i just avoid the problem. it is not that hard to move to another table.

shoot, i have had people steal my stuff (guy stole my hat in a movie theater) and i got super mad, but realized it was only worth a few bucks and had no sentimental value so i just left.

 

[Newell Steamer]

"this is my neighborhood, you don't belong here and I have a right to be here and you don't."

And you've done a shitty job keeping it, so, we're taking over - now, go waste away someplace away from me.

 

[Perknose]

OP, this is one of those unfortunate situations with no truly good solution. Your one recourse is to complain to Starbucks corporate. This will mostly drag out the annoyance of this experience, and, at best, you will receive some anodyne "solution" like a pittance of a gift card and some distant, pallid, corporate speak apology.

The whole thing sucks.

Just take solace that you and your wife are the future and that this bitter old bigot is the part of the past still leaking into this imperfect present. Be glad you have your life and not hers. The only real question is which of her sons is a prolific P&N posting member here. j/k

 

[Homerboy]

She's old and grew up in a different time and world than us. Just like our children are growing up in a different time and world where we did. I'm not excusing her for her behavior, but rather giving it a reason -- she just doesn't know better. Her generation with their ingrained bigotry will pass and every generation will get better and better.

All you can do is stay calm with her and civil. Otherwise you perpetuate her false stereotype and add fuel to her bigotry.

As for the manager's handling of the situation, I think you need to write a letter to Starbucks and/or the branches ownership and explain what happened. At best case the manager gets reprimanded. Worst case is you get some free coffees