Essay Topic

[DaiShan]

Originally posted by: w00t


I told you my reading/writing level was low...dont have to be a dick about it by far my worst subject. It's how the human mind works and our millitary would have to spend money on other things for woman. I am a Junior in High School.

While it could have been phrased better, he does make a good point, you will need evidence for everything you say. You can't make an assertion and then not provide supporting evidence, if you do, that sentence/paragraph is dropped from your argument because it doesn't have any weight. I think that you should scrap your first paragraph, it's too frought with errors to fix as is.

Why don't you do this, think about what you are trying to prove. That becomes your thesis statement and the rest of the paper serves to support this argument. Once you have your thesis statement down on paper, put together a paragraph that supports it, and read it out loud 3 times. If it doesn't sound right when you read it out loud it probably isn't.

You can email me if you like (email is in my profile) I'm happy to help/provide constructive criticism.

 

[GeneValgene]

here you go

 

[w00t]

Men are physically stronger than women because of male hormones and muscle mass distribution. The key male sex hormone testosterone promotes the production of hemoglobin, the oxygen protein found inside red blood cells, and testosterone also increases the concentration of red cells in the blood. The key female sex hormone, estrogen, has no such effect. As a result, liter of male blood contains about 150-160 grams of hemoglobin, compared to only 130-140 grams for females. The bottom line is that each liter of male blood can carry about 11 percent more oxygen than a similar quantity of female blood.

these are based off facts :-D

 

[Keyvan]

if you want to write about women in combat, an interesting part of your essay can be the implications of losing women as POWs during combat. What happens when the enemy takes them as POWs? It is very likely that they may get raped, and I think that it is an issue that the military should really consider because although I don't know how it feels like to get raped, I can't imagine that it can be very good for someone's future health (mental and potentially physical).
As it is right now, getting raped by a rogue soldier is not considered as torture in the official sense of the word as far as the international community is concerned. Torture involves the use of physical/mental abuse with the intention of extracting information from an official figure representing a government. Should the definition of torture be modified, or should rape be simply separate?

 

[w00t]

Originally posted by: w00t
Men are physically stronger than women because of male hormones and muscle mass distribution. The key male sex hormone testosterone promotes the production of hemoglobin, the oxygen protein found inside red blood cells, and testosterone also increases the concentration of red cells in the blood. The key female sex hormone, estrogen, has no such effect. As a result, liter of male blood contains about 150-160 grams of hemoglobin, compared to only 130-140 grams for females. The bottom line is that each liter of male blood can carry about 11 percent more oxygen than a similar quantity of female blood.

these are based off facts :-D

I guess it's good if no one had anything to say about it?

 

[SaturnX]

Well my last post was kinda harsh, but yeah I didn't mean to come off like that.

Anyways, just some advice since you say your reading/writing level is low. I know it'll be difficult but you should definately try to read more. English was also my worst subject in HS. I did quite poorly in it during my early years of HS, and after that started reading more and more. It was tough but it made a world of difference when I got to my final year.

If your sig is any indication, maybe you should try substituting some reading in place of CS. It's tough but by exposing yourself to various authors and writing styles you'll develop a firmer grasp and understanding of the language.

--Mark

 

[WildHorse]

How about writing on contrasts between:

tens of thousands of helpless children dying from starvation, gunshots and disease in Africa monthly,

while large numbers of spoiled brats on ATOT sincerely believe the big issues are which car to buy for a sexy image, which luxury wristwatch to buy, which beer to drink, is howard stern cool or not, other vulgar materialistic B.S. that completely is living in a fantasy dreamworld.