I'm quite simply not lying, you're just wrong. Search this thread, I've actually basically said how I do it, and I've even refined the process since then. But as for your points:
1) Wrong in 2 ways. First, I don't do High Sec level 4's anymore, I make my money doing Faction Warfare level 4's. Faction Warfare level 4 missions can be done in 2-10 minutes per mission depending on the mission, and your skills for about 4m isk and 20k LP with decent social skills. Also, not even high sec level 4's take multiple hours, if it's taking you multiple hours, you're doing it wrong.
2) Again, you must be picking the wrong missions for fitting your ship incorrectly. When I did do high sec level 4's, I did then in a normal cruise Raven and had absolutely no problems with appropriate skills.
3) Honestly, the Golem is not a magic PvE money maker, and if I were still doing high sec lvl 4's or 5's, I would prefer a CNR with a dedicated salvaging ship. Also, your tank should not be breaking that easily.
My guess is that 1) you're not as skilled up as you think you are 2) you're choosing to do the lower yield missions when you should be doing the higher yield ones 3) your fits are not very good 4) you just haven't gotten the mission running tactics/tricks down yet. Do you read EVE Survival on a mission before doing it? Are you aggroing the right groups (or not aggroing the wrong ones?) Are you blitzing? Are you using the right ammo? etc.. etc..
In short, you're doing it wrong.
I think we have a winner on all counts here. L4 missions are not something that you can just do as a brand new player/toon. You need decent drone skills (i.e. at least drones 5, scout drones V, drone interfacing 4, combat drones 4, drone durability 4, drone sharpshooting 4, drone navigation 4), you need perfect tank skills (well, perfect for the core skills, level 4 for the passive skills if you are passive tanking (which isn't a bad idea due to all the neuting that happens in L4 missions)). Again, depending on if you active tank or passive tank, you need either a fit with a cap booster and a crapton of 800cap charges, or almost perfect cap affecting skills (i.e. energy management and energy operations 4/5 respectively). And to top that off, you need to do at least 350dps, otherwise it will take forever to kill anything (like you have been experiencing).
Your drones are being killed because you are not recalling them before each successive wave of enemy ships arriving and waiting until you draw the aggro of them (the "you are doing it wrong" from the above comment).
You are running out of cap because you are not properly fit, or skilled. You don't run a large shield booster constantly. You pulse it when you need it (i.e. when your shields hit 30% you pulse until your shields are up to 45-50%). You should have 2 T2 shield booster amplifiers on your fit if you are using a shield booster (they require shield operations level 5 which I already mentioned you need if you are shield tanking). Otherwise you can go the dual Pith-B small shield boosters and 1 T2 shield booster amp (but that will run you a few hundred mill).
You absolutely should be using faction ammo at the minimum, especially in that golem. Hell, the golem should have faction boosters, and faction balistic missile computers (everything else should be T2 or meta 4). Again, we are back to the "you are doing it wrong".
There will be a few L4 missions that will take a while, specifically ones which require you to fly your ship 30-40km to the jump gates. That said, the really bad ones are flagged in Eve Survival, and you either run them in a Tengu, or you decline them. With the golem, the first thing you should do when you enter a mission with a gate is align towards the gate and hit the afterburner. The second thing you do is set T2 Hobgoblins or Warriors on the warp disrupt frigates and target anything large that does uses neuts/vamps (assuming it is not the trigger). Otherwise you clear ships based on the dps they do (typically largest first).
Solo it shouldn't take more then 30 minutes for most missions.