Shame.... I don't think I've ever been close with anyone who committed suicide, even close to the same level that you worked with this guy. Only people who know people etc.
Horrible wife.
"The journals believed contained discussions of some terrible actions that he made in his earlier years dealing with kids"
It doesn't go into greater detail than that but he would serve time for the "terrible actions" "dealing with kids".
It is likely that the wife did the right thing here and should be commended for reporting him.
"The journals believed contained discussions of some terrible actions that he made in his earlier years dealing with kids"
It doesn't go into greater detail than that but he would serve time for the "terrible actions" "dealing with kids".
It is likely that the wife did the right thing here and should be commended for reporting him.
Have to agree here. If he's talking about molestation or even "regular" abuse, those are the kinds of people that should off themselves.
He was sorry for what has happened, or he wouldn't have written that or did all that social work.No man. That wife should be commended.
He was sorry for what has happened, or he wouldn't have written that or did all that social work.
And again, wife is a partner, the other half. No matter what happens*, she should NEVER betray her partner, and vice-versa, ofc.
*= to people external to the family. Ofc, if abuse or stuff happens WITHIN the family then reporting might be acceptable.
Why is it ok for people external to the family? There is no inherent moral value to a family. It's a productive social construct designed to ensure that children are successfully raised in good physical and mental health and little more. The institution is worth nothing if the members of it undermine its primary goal, and that applies whether or not daddy is ruining the lives of his own children or those of others.
EDIT: But of course, it could depend somewhat on circumstances. If the father confessed to abusing a single child once in his late teens because he was abused himself and never did it again, I could see why ousting him would not be the best choice. But if it was a regular thing and by "earlier years" we're talking for years on end until he joined AA, I wouldn't trust him to change so easily. That he only killed himself after being "caught" is particularly damning.
Marriage is built on trust. You should be able to tell your partner ANYTHING, knowing that it will stay between you two.Why is it ok for people external to the family? There is no inherent moral value to a family. It's a productive social construct designed to ensure that children are successfully raised in good physical and mental health and little more. The institution is worth nothing if the members of it undermine its primary goal, and that applies whether or not daddy is ruining the lives of his own children or those of others.
EDIT: But of course, it could depend somewhat on circumstances. If the father confessed to abusing a single child once in his late teens because he was abused himself and never did it again, I could see why ousting him would not be the best choice. But if it was a regular thing and by "earlier years" we're talking for years on end until he joined AA, I wouldn't trust him to change so easily. That he only killed himself after being "caught" is particularly damning.
Bullshit.
Living by, getting carried by events, just to live, it's much easier than actually taking your life into your own hands, overcome the self-preservation instinct and hang yourself.
Marriage is built on trust. You should be able to tell your partner ANYTHING, knowing that it will stay between you two.
Ofc, as long as it's something external to the family, because when you do something inside the family you destroy that trust.
Then if the partner considers what you did too horrible to stay with you then the bond can be cut and she can leave, but what has been said before the bond is cut should remain between them.
That's how I see a commitment as important as a marriage. Ofc, everyone has their own opinion on the matter, and someone might see it shallower, but this is how I see it.
No I am sorry but I think your words are bullshit. However this is a very subjective issue and you are entitled to your opinion of course.
Suicide is the cowardly and easy way out of your life. People who kill themselves are sick or weak or both, and they are not overcoming anything. They are succumbing to their weakness and sickness and deciding not to face the problems any more.
In principle I agree with you but I believe there is an exception for exceedingly harmful illegal activity. If you murder someone, you are not honoring your obligation to build a safe and productive life with your spouse, and your spouse should go to the authorities. You have shown yourself to be amoral to a level that is not acceptable in any relationship. Same with child abuse.Marriage is built on trust. You should be able to tell your partner ANYTHING, knowing that it will stay between you two.
Ofc, as long as it's something external to the family, because when you do something inside the family you destroy that trust.
Then if the partner considers what you did too horrible to stay with you then the bond can be cut and she can leave, but what has been said before the bond is cut should remain between them.
That's how I see a commitment as important as a marriage. Ofc, everyone has their own opinion on the matter, and someone might see it shallower, but this is how I see it.
In principle I agree with you but I believe there is an exception for exceedingly harmful illegal activity. If you murder someone, you are not honoring your obligation to build a safe and productive life with your spouse, and your spouse should go to the authorities. You have shown yourself to be amoral to a level that is not acceptable in any relationship. Same with child abuse.
If she has asked him to go to police himself she has fullfilled her obbligations.Wow, you really cannot be this daft, can you?
It's not about bloody shallowness in relationships, it's about a fucking child abuser being reported for his crimes and NOTHING else.
What would happen if he drank again? If he then abused another child, would the wife be partly responsible because she could have stopped that from happening? I think she would be.
In principle I agree with you but I believe there is an exception for exceedingly harmful illegal activity. If you murder someone, you are not honoring your obligation to build a safe and productive life with your spouse, and your spouse should go to the authorities. You have shown yourself to be amoral to a level that is not acceptable in any relationship. Same with child abuse.
What if that has happed BEFORE the marriage?
If she has asked him to go to police himself she has fullfilled her obbligations.
And, while I consider child abuse despicable (actually, it's the most despicable crime in my eyes), if hasn't happened within the family then the wife he's trusting enough to tell her should not break that trust and report him to the police.
If she does, then she hasn't fullfilled her duties as a partner, and that makes her a bad wife.
Again, IMHO.
If honesty is such a big part of marriage as you say it should be made known before the marriage takes place.
That also creates a situation where she's not his wife yet and thus not bound by your strange loyalty rules.
I still don't think that those loyalty rules would include something that in my book is completely unforgivable, child abuse.
Amoral is relative. A man can be a murderer (=soldiers) im outside life, and a loving father and husband in family.
Wrong, a murderer who is a soldier is going to be tried for murder under harsher law than civil law.
Morality when it comes to crimes that involve harming others intentionally is absolute, it's even built into us in our evolved sense of empathy.
Yes, I agree that there should be a disclosure before marriage, but you can't really say that you murdered someone to your SO if you know she's gonna report it.
Need to stipulate a NDA before marriage for a few months, so that there can be complete disclosure between the future wed that leads to the decision of marry or not.
Sadly NDA contracts are nullified in case of crimes, so yeah...
How about NOT murdering someone, or is that too hard?
If you're being dishonest with your future wife before marriage she's certainly entitled to report it afterwards since she couldn't do it beforehand.
Or just accept that if you abuse children you may just have to kill yourself if you cannot live with the shame about others knowing it or actually paying for the crime you have committed.
I believe that it's a responsibility of society to guard our most helpless and anyone who fails to do so should be held responsible for it, wife, sister, son or dad doesn't matter in the least to me.
Wut? So an american soldier who kills 10 terrorists is going to be tried for murder?
The answer is no, ofc, he's gonna get a medal.
But he's still a murderer.
Again, opinions.
You put society in front of family, I put family in front of society.