At the end of her life, Dorothy Parker put considerable estate on the line for freedom and justice for African Americans.
As a kid of about 11 or 12 (yeah, I know, I'm weird), I came across the members of the Algonquin Round Table. They were both smart and dead nuts funny. They went into my pantheon of approximate heroes. And none were funnier than Dorothy Parker, who famously once said, "If you have nothing good to say, sit by me."
Anyway, I just learned today that, at her death, she willed her entire estate to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King;
Dorothy Parker, who was born on this day in 1893, once suggested her own epitaph: “Excuse my dust.”
It was a classic, coolly unsentimental remark by Ms. Parker, the acerbic wit whose writing was a mainstay in Vanity Fair and The New Yorker for years. But her other post-mortem plans came as a surprise to many.
The sharp-witted Dorothy Parker.
When she died on June 7, 1967, the bulk of her estate was left to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr., whom she had never met. Ms. Parker, a champion of humanitarian and left-wing causes, admired the civil rights leader’s work, but even Dr. King was surprised.
My admiration for this brilliant and witty woman has now grown and deepened.
Here are a few of the things she said, quoted:
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone." <---- Yeah, she FIRST said that.
"It serve me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."
“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say “No” in any of them.”
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.”
“He and I had an office so tiny, that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.”
“There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” <----- Yep, she coined this.
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” <----- Again!
When asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous: “Certainly not. They want me to stop now.”
“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
“Miss Hepburn ran the whole gamut of emotions—from A to B.” <---- A scathing and pithy review!
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
"Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live. "
She attempted suicide four times in her life. She was better at writing.
I can't wait to read how the humorless ideological pinheads here, those tiny little right-wing apologists and Trump enablers, respond to this post. Have at it, boyz!
As a kid of about 11 or 12 (yeah, I know, I'm weird), I came across the members of the Algonquin Round Table. They were both smart and dead nuts funny. They went into my pantheon of approximate heroes. And none were funnier than Dorothy Parker, who famously once said, "If you have nothing good to say, sit by me."
Anyway, I just learned today that, at her death, she willed her entire estate to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King;
Dorothy Parker, who was born on this day in 1893, once suggested her own epitaph: “Excuse my dust.”
It was a classic, coolly unsentimental remark by Ms. Parker, the acerbic wit whose writing was a mainstay in Vanity Fair and The New Yorker for years. But her other post-mortem plans came as a surprise to many.
The sharp-witted Dorothy Parker.
When she died on June 7, 1967, the bulk of her estate was left to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr., whom she had never met. Ms. Parker, a champion of humanitarian and left-wing causes, admired the civil rights leader’s work, but even Dr. King was surprised.
My admiration for this brilliant and witty woman has now grown and deepened.
Here are a few of the things she said, quoted:
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone." <---- Yeah, she FIRST said that.
"It serve me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."
“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say “No” in any of them.”
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.”
“He and I had an office so tiny, that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.”
“There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” <----- Yep, she coined this.
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” <----- Again!
When asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous: “Certainly not. They want me to stop now.”
“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
“Miss Hepburn ran the whole gamut of emotions—from A to B.” <---- A scathing and pithy review!
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
"Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live. "
She attempted suicide four times in her life. She was better at writing.
I can't wait to read how the humorless ideological pinheads here, those tiny little right-wing apologists and Trump enablers, respond to this post. Have at it, boyz!