Experience with severing family ties?

[Abe Froman]

I've recently decided that there is a faction of my family that I no longer need in my life due to their deceitful nature and incessant need to cause drama in the lives of other members of the family.

I'm just done with their $hit and ready to remove them from my life.

Have you been forced to do this? What sorts of repercussions should I expect, aside from possible awkward planning around holidays?

*the familial ties involved are a group cousins and an aunt, not siblings or parents. But historically speaking, our families have been very close.

 

[DesiPower]

Is it even possible? how do you plan to implement it?

 

[KeithTalent]

Ignore them long enough (delete from contacts, etc.) and they should get the hint. Worked for me.

KT

 

[Abe Froman]

Is it even possible? how do you plan to implement it?

My initial ideas are refusal to invite them to any familial events hosted at my house. Any of my immediate family's events, birthdays, baptisms, parties, etc.

Eliminating our usual social interactions which have been about once per month for years, since we were children.

My aunt is off her rocker and her children seem to be following suit and siding with her in the drama she starts.

 

[sixone]

My initial ideas are refusal to invite them to any familial events hosted at my house. Any of my immediate family's events, birthdays, baptisms, parties, etc.

Eliminating our usual social interactions which have been about once per month for years, since we were children.

My aunt is off her rocker and her children seem to be following suit and siding with her in the drama she starts.

Will any of your other "helpful" family members invite them to your house for these events? If not, just don't invite them. Problem solved.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[TheUnk]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

Give me a break. Some people have family members who are outright bonkers. Why bring so much stress and drama into your life if they are clearly unwilling to change? Best to move on and enjoy your life - that matters too.

 

[lxskllr]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

Once you remove the mysticism, you realize family are just another set of people. There's plenty of overused sayings that relate to how awesome family is, but in the end they're just people like anyone else. Some people aren't worth dealing with.

 

[Nintendesert]

I've recently decided that there is a faction of my family that I no longer need in my life due to their deceitful nature and incessant need to cause drama in the lives of other members of the family.

I'm just done with their $hit and ready to remove them from my life.

Have you been forced to do this? What sorts of repercussions should I expect, aside from possible awkward planning around holidays?

*the familial ties involved are a group cousins and an aunt, not siblings or parents. But historically speaking, our families have been very close.

Ignoring works and simple and straight forward "No" to any requests. It works.

 

[Vic Vega]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

I hate this tribal bullshit.

If your family is seriously full of fuckups who do not recognize or want your help and only cause you pain and suffering then FUCK them, move on with your life.

This tribal thinking is what's wrong with 2/3 of this planet. Come out of the cave, put down the rock hammer and pointy stick.

 

[Vic Vega]

Ignoring works and simple and straight forward "No" to any requests. It works.

Indeed. This is what my wife and I have done with portions of her family.

We don't contact them and ignore attempts for them to contact us. If they do somehow and ask for something, the answer is simply "No, we're not going to do that".

They have been mostly "dark" since the mid 2000s though every so often one of the real winners will try and look us up.

 

[ImpulsE69]

It's as easy as not returning calls and not contacting them. I've done it to several of my drama family members over the years.

Family was more important back when there were less people on the planet. Now, there's too many, even w/o family, you won't be alone, unless you choose to be.

 

[7window]

stay with family.
Reason
1. when you have kids they dont have anyone to play with.

 

[BudAshes]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

Completely wrong. Seriously don't give out advice like this ever. Families can be great but they can also contain disgusting monsters that destroy people's lives. Your family is only the people that love you, not some ridiculous bloodline bullshit.

 

[Mixolydian]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

I can't believe people actually believe this shit.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[Howard]

Intrigued by your word, "tribal."
What do you mean?

That word carries great concepts.

In fact, I IMAGINE in FUTURE (not soon, but generations in future) that waves of counterculture people will go back to the land into tribal-like organizations, thriving like extended families. Say for example (I'm just exercising imagination here) into groups of around 20 - 40 communal people. TRIBES. S-O-M-E-D-A-Y, your great grandkids' era.

See Gary Snyder: "Why Tribe" (Earth Household)

Utah much?

 

[Printer Bandit]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

WTF is up with that font.

 

[KIAman]

FAMILY is one of your mainlines to life, to reality\

don't sever

work it out
work through it

Family is one of the things that matters

I think people are misunderstanding the word "family" from ringtail.

I don't think he meant "blood relatives" more likely family in the sense of people you love and love you in return.

But if rintail indeed mean "blood relatives = family" then speaking as a fellow adoptee, his advice is terrible.

 

[Drako]

Ignore them long enough (delete from contacts, etc.) and they should get the hint. Worked for me.

KT

Ditto, although it took longer than expected. Some annoying people don't have a clue.

 

[olds]

WTF is up with that font.

LOL. I am not the only one...

 

[KIAman]

I've done this before, btw, and I give them enough courtesy to let them know what I am doing before ignoring and saying "no" to stuff.

"You are no longer part of my family."

At least it saves them the confusion.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

Congratulations for deciding you want to live a drama free life. We cant choose who are family is but we can choose our friends.

Leave your family behind, it's not like they care or they would behave better.

Ignore them, no more gifts, cards, conversation, Facebook access - just cut them off. Stop attending any function that they will be attending.

Find some friends who treat you well and adopt there family if you get lonely on XMAS or T-Day. I've never been happier since putting my foot down.

 

[zinfamous]

set them up/frame them for some type of crime.

Let prison remove them from your life!

win

:awe:

 

[Number1]

You want to cut off contacts? Very easy, write them a nasty email and make it personal. Point out the problems you have with them.

Do it on Facebook, let the whole world know.

Trust me, after the inevitable shit storm, they won't bother with you, you wife or your children EVER! They might even piss on your grave when you die.

That's what you want, right?