Experience with severing family ties?

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

If the opportunity had arose, I would have excluded them out of my life altogether something like 10 years ago. And if not for lack of employment over the past 12 years, I would have done it first chance I had.
Out of everyone possible, first person you should be able to trust & last person you'd expect to fuck you over is your own parents. I didn't even learn about credit before my mom put me in $20K of debt... I'm not even sure how or if I'll ever recover from it... I don't forsee enough income to start paying off anything for at least another year...

 

[Platypus]

Tell them very clearly your intentions to avoid contact with them, then just do it. They won't take it seriously or take the hint immediately but over time they will get it.

Understanding that you need to lower your expectations with family can be a hard pill to swallow but there's only so many times you can touch the stove and expect not to get burned.

 

[Vic Vega]

Intrigued by your word, "tribal."
What do you mean?

That word carries great concepts.

In fact, I IMAGINE in FUTURE (not soon, but generations in future) that waves of counterculture people will go back to the land into tribal-like organizations, thriving like extended families. Say for example (I'm just exercising imagination here) into groups of around 20 - 40 communal people. TRIBES. S-O-M-E-D-A-Y, your great grandkids' era.

See Gary Snyder: "Why Tribe" (Earth Household)

I think only a moron would not understand my usage of tribal.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[KeithTalent]

Yet I am universally acknowledged by top-level people on several continents as a BRILLIANT guy,
what do YOU mean?

Lol, awesome comeback.

KT

 

[OverVolt]

Never sever family ties. If you don't agree, just say so, loudly. Get into fights over it. Its better than cutting them off altogether.

You'll find after the initial fighting, they accept your ideas, or at least learn to agree to disagree.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[rudeguy]

My dad is a piece of shit. I kicked him out of my life 19 years ago and don't regret it a bit.

 

[Number1]

Never sever family ties. If you don't agree, just say so, loudly. Get into fights over it. Its better than cutting them off altogether.

You'll find after the initial fighting, they accept your ideas, or at least learn to agree to disagree.

I agree, it's kind of sad to see this kind of thread just before Chrismas when family should come first.


Edit:
My avatar character is a prime example of somebody who values family above all.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[OverVolt]

"after the initial fighting, they accept your ideas"
my stomach hurts from laughing at that.../,,,that's otherwise called the "cram-down" theory

But it works. They probably cram-down a ton of shit onto you too.

Its a process, first fighting, then acceptance, then cooperation, etc. They fight with you because they don't know you.

You have to carve out a tiny little island of real estate in their brain about who you are.

 

[waggy]

staying around with family because they are family is retarded.

I have pretty much cut my sisters out of my life. why? for some reason they treat me like shit, treat my kids like shit an far to much drama inmy life with them. They are cause so much drama in the family my dad and step mom cut them out. not just out of life but the will too!

life is to short as it is. no reason to let family make it more insane.

But it works. They probably cram-down a ton of shit onto you too.

Its a process, first fighting, then acceptance, then cooperation, etc. They fight with you because they don't know you.

You have to carve out a tiny little island of real estate in their brain about who you are.

sure. but eventually there comes a time when you just can't anymore I did that for years with my sisters (actually 1 sister the other just worships her). i put up shit for years and ignored it etc. When my kids started questioning why they did that i knew it was more of a problem then just me.

so sometimes its better to cut your loses and leave.

 

[Vic Vega]

Yet I am universally acknowledged by top-level people on several continents as a BRILLIANT guy,
what do YOU mean?

Troll denied. Welcome to ignore, caveman.

 

[OverVolt]

staying around with family because they are family is retarded.

I have pretty much cut my sisters out of my life. why? for some reason they treat me like shit, treat my kids like shit an far to much drama inmy life with them. They are cause so much drama in the family my dad and step mom cut them out. not just out of life but the will too!

life is to short as it is. no reason to let family make it more insane.



sure. but eventually there comes a time when you just can't anymore I did that for years with my sisters (actually 1 sister the other just worships her). i put up shit for years and ignored it etc. When my kids started questioning why they did that i knew it was more of a problem then just me.

so sometimes its better to cut your loses and leave.

Yea but you can't sever ALL of them.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[waggy]

Yea but you can't sever ALL of them.

you do if you need to. A person shouldn't have a problem severing ties when that is what is needed. IF that is all the family you have then that's whats needed.

 

[Rumpltzer]

Getting rid of the family that I didn't choose was completely easy. Don't answer phone. Don't respond to email, text, mail, etc... don't even read it; delete or shred. Not hard to do.

It helps maybe that we don't live in the same time zones.

Wasn't a big dilemma for me; choice was obvious and easy.

 

[waterjug]

I'm at this point with my father's side of the family. There are some things some people just don't get. They're not 'wired' that way, to think in a 'familial' sense, and so the things they do are just....mind mindbogglingly offensive. I posted here once about my father telling me that my uncle is a child rapist. On my 30th birthday. At the party with everyone. As dessert was being served. This year he skipped my 31st because his girlfriend's father wanted a pizza and he had to deliver it to him. Shit like that is a weekly occurrence with his whole side of the family and it's just not worth it anymore.

 

[XJustMeX21]

I have a sister that I have decided not to deal with anymore for several reasons. I have only seen her twice in ten years, both times at funerals. If she is going to a family function I don't go. Fortunately she lives in another state so it's not to difficult.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[Howard]

I have absolutely no idea what you mean,
therefore
I'll go away thinking you're a good guy.

Challenge: PROVE ME RIGHT

None of your 300-ish posts make any sense.

 

[ringtail]

``

 

[LumbergTech]

Once you remove the mysticism, you realize family are just another set of people. There's plenty of overused sayings that relate to how awesome family is, but in the end they're just people like anyone else. Some people aren't worth dealing with.

truth to an extent, but I think family is worth fighting for...hash it out with them and if you have to say fuck it then you have to say fuck it, but I wouldn't give up without a good attempt...family is very important

 

[Saint Nick]

You should try to solve your differences rather than run from them.

 

[Howard]

I was going to let that pass,

then decided, awh why not...


I object to you dissing me based on post count, I've been here since the 1990's, I am among the ORIGINAL AT participants

I was here in the 1990s before AT WAS ON THE WEB, WHEN IT WAS JUST AN INTERNET BULLETIN BOARD,

Then I was here as a username that is lost, even to me,

THEN I was while gone off to work in other countries during which I dropped AT,

then I returned and made another new user namer around the 2004 era or thereabouts and had thousands of posts,

but......

then I enmeshed with a new woman who brought a teen son who broke into and srtarted using my password, including making posts on AT, so to avoid home troubles I simply started a new AT account...(much better than starting a fight with her about behavior of her son)

whew got that off my chest!

tl;dr

Also, it doesn't matter what your post count is. Every single one of them is nonsensical.