Expert relationship advice or abuse needed ;)

[Cat]

How would you approach this conversation differently? I need suggestions for how I should have diverted this before it turned into a train wreck.

Background info: The actress playing "Her" has been feeling crappy lately, and is PMSing.

EDIT: The one-way expression of criticism/opinions has been going on for a while now, so I was fed up at that point.

http://rafb.net/p/nsabZX42.html

 

[IceBergSLiM]

omg. why would you carry on so long. jesus christ. What to do differently??? next time she gets fcking pissy over something so stupid as we looked gay...then ridicule her mercilessly for it(in a funny way) then change teh subject. That is all. Never argue over something so plainly ridiculous.

oh god the end was so pathetic. You were trying like a sad little puppy to desperately seek out her approval. ****** THAT SH1T DUDE! NEVER EVER EVARRR!!!! ****** DO THAT ****** AGAIN. Laugh it off and change the topic. The more you tried to make things better and please her the more pissed she got. If you had just nipped it in the bud in the begginning by doing what i mentioned above this conversation could have ended with her coming to your place to give you head.

 

[yowolabi]

I'm sorry. I tried to go through the whole thing.

But at: If you go through a chain of events with suppositons, yes, but "I want you to act in a manner because if I think through a chain of events" does not really make me happy

It just got too painful. I feel like i've let you down.


Next time, talk to her on the phone. It's much harder to get into an endless argument in person or on the phone. When you're interacting in real time, you see awkwardness coming and try harder to avoid it. Plus, there's no lingering evidence of the disagreement and how silly it was.

 

[Agentbolt]

That's a real winner you've got yourself there, Chief. She needs to apologize for that, PMS or not. If this is a normal thing for her, dump her. Women who decide "PMSing and feeling crappy" are carte blanche to be as bitchy as they want are NOT someone worth dating.

 

[Turin39789]

"when i hear the words, "god, we looked so gay" it triggers an automatic feeling that you sound homophobic and kind of stupid"

 

[spidey07]

LOL! She's more of a man than you are. At least from how she is quickly dismissing you and you going on about your "feelings".

I honestly thought you were the girl and she was a guy from that conversation.

As far as her getting pissy just say you're not going to deal with her until her attitude improves.

 

[Kev]

why cant you just copy and paste to here

 

[mooglekit]

Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

 

[Cat]

I love this place, the range of comments is always from one end of the spectrum to the other .

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: Kev
why cant you just copy and paste to here

Waste of storage space.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: mooglekit
Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

Lately she's been saying that it pisses her off when I just want to drop it.

 

[BigJ]

I'm not a Doctor, but I believe LSU MD is. I'm going to ask him to write a prescription for two testicles. You can fill it whenever you get around to it.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: mooglekit
Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

Lately she's been saying that it pisses her off when I just want to drop it.

read between the lines. She doesnt like when you let her walk all over you. She wants to give you sh1t and bust your balls then have you give it back to her 2x as hard but always in a fun way.

A prime example if she calls you homophobic you don't even address that comment then next thing out of your mouth should be "if you knew noone would find out would you sleep with angelina jolie? "

 

[COntr]

It seemed as though you were the one provoking it. You kept pressuring when she already let it go two lines in. I even felt annoyed reading your comments. When she let it go, you should have too. Just say you're sorry (since you stated she was PMSing, any form of persuasion will have failed anyway). You shouldn't have texted her. Just let her pissy mood wear off and start a fresh conversation about something else. A joke would help.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: mooglekit
Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

Lately she's been saying that it pisses her off when I just want to drop it.

read between the lines. She doesnt like when you let her walk all over you. She wants to give you ****** and bust your balls give it back to her 2x as hard but always in a fun way.

That's definitely not the right answer for this conversation.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: BigJ
I'm not a Doctor, but I believe LSU MD is. I'm going to ask him to write a prescription for two testicles. You can fill it whenever you get around to it.

Just posting a platitude doesn't make the thread very fun, you should actually add something.

 

[meltdown75]

don't people use phones anymore?

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: BigJ
I'm not a Doctor, but I believe LSU MD is. I'm going to ask him to write a prescription for two testicles. You can fill it whenever you get around to it.

Just posting a platitude doesn't make the thread very fun, you should actually add something.

I would, but you're too much of a eunuch to get anything meaningful out of it.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: mooglekit
Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

Lately she's been saying that it pisses her off when I just want to drop it.

read between the lines. She doesnt like when you let her walk all over you. She wants to give you ****** and bust your balls give it back to her 2x as hard but always in a fun way.

That's definitely not the right answer for this conversation.

try it.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
don't people use phones anymore?

I was at work, trying to make her feel better about some tooth pain she'd been having.

 

[y2kc]

you got digitally bitch slapped.... dump her before she dumps you due to lack of respect.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Cat

Originally posted by: mooglekit
Good God, first piece of advice is just to learn when to drop it...seriously, could you have dragged that out any longer?? I believe that is the best example of digging yourself deeper I've ever seen...amazing...

On another note, talking in person or on the phone prolly would help avoid these stupid, pretty little arguments that go on forever for no apparent reason...people will say anything on IM...there are more filters the more real a person gets (in person > on the phone > IM > email)

Lately she's been saying that it pisses her off when I just want to drop it.

read between the lines. She doesnt like when you let her walk all over you. She wants to give you ****** and bust your balls give it back to her 2x as hard but always in a fun way.

That's definitely not the right answer for this conversation.

try it.

I have, and it doesn't work.

 

[Juddog]

After going through about 1/3 of this and then scrolling down, it's easy to see your mistake: you refuse to drop things. When a person says that they don't really care / feel like talking about something, or show signs that it makes them agitated, then chances are it's not worth talking about with them unless it involves financial matters or matters of health (such as someone getting sick, or talking about a rent check etc.)

You basically keep digging yourself a deeper hole and making things worse.

 

[yllus]

Never, ever have a significant other on your IM list.

 

[Cat]

Originally posted by: Juddog
After going through about 1/3 of this and then scrolling down, it's easy to see your mistake: you refuse to drop things. When a person says that they don't really care / feel like talking about something, or show signs that it makes them agitated, then chances are it's not worth talking about with them unless it involves financial matters or matters of health (such as someone getting sick, or talking about a rent check etc.)

You basically keep digging yourself a deeper hole and making things worse.

What if this behavior is typical? Frequent one-way criticism, with no discussion?