Solutions - Crap your company doesn't need
Enterprise Solutions - really expensive crap your company doesn't need
IT Security - You've just handed management of your entire company over to some bitchy nazi in IT. The IT folks now have veto power over all decisions.
IT Security, def ii - All that silly crap employees have to defeat to get solitare reloaded on their computers
Innovation Driven - Lack of business model
Performance Driven - Corporate re-invention of communist central planning. Unachievable goals are declared by executives, mid-level managers pretend to achieve them, executives get bonuses.
Customer Service - phone tree
Focused Customer Service - phone tree w/ ads
Green Computing - The new Enterprise Solution that'll be in the landfill in three years now ships in corn starch based packing peanuts.
Greening the Enterprise - Send out fifty million flyers, printed with soy ink, extolling the virtues of your company for switching to a Green Enterprise Solution.
Power Management - Move the noisy server away from the manager's office.