Favorite movie one-liners?

[MisterMe]

It's better to burn than to fade away....

Highlander nemesis in the church...

 

[tk149]

"Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied" - Commando

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours." - Princess Bride

"WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child in seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out dear god what is that thing, will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. " - Princess Bride

"Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?" - The Three Amigos

"My style, you can call the art of fighting without fighting." Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!" - Conan the Barbarian

"Now all restaurants are Taco Bell." - Demolition Man

[Brody has just gotten his first look at the shark.]
Brody: You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!" - Robocop

[Lieutenant Gorman orders the troops to unload all their weapons before the first alien encounter]
Private Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use, man? Harsh language? - Aliens

"In case you haven't been paying attention to current events, we just got our asses kicked!" - Aliens

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig." - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?" - Full Metal Jacket

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Army of Darkness Section

"Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! "

"Hail to the king, baby!"

"Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."

"Groovy."

"Name's Ash . . . housewares."

"I'll swallow your soul!"
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(I'm surprised no one posted any Monty Python quotes - Isn't this is supposed to be a nerd hangout?)

 

[QuEeNyGuRl]

Matrix Revolutions

Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more that your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?
Neo: Because I choose to.

Meet the Parents

Greg Focker: You tried to milk him, didn?t you, you sick SOB

Greg Focker: Oh, dear god, thank you, you are such a good god to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating god, and we thank you oh sweet, sweet lord of hosts for the smorgasbord you have so aptly laid at our table this day, and each day, by day, day by day, by day oh dear lord three things we pray to love thee more dearly, to see thee more clearly, to follow thee more nearly, day, by day, by day. Amen.

Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?

 

[moonshinemadness]

Hackers
"Well sh!t on me"

Space Balls
Gorilla 1- "Whats that?"
Gorilla 2- "It looks like.....space balls"
Gorilla 1- "Oh sh!t there goes the planet"

Gone In 60 Seconds
Theif tries to rob the car ramone just stole
Ramone - "You lazy, half-a$$ bully! Any a$$hole can pull a gun on somebody! You dont know the first thing about stealing a car. Boy I-...What!? You need a role model!

Lock Stock
Tom - "Seems. Well this 'seems' to be a waste of my time. That is 900 knicker in any shop your lucky enough to find one in and your complaning about 200? What school of finance did you study? Its a deal, its a steal, its sale of the fvcking century. In Fact fvck it nik i think ill keep it.

Tom - It doesnt include the speakers, it doesnt include the amp and its not supposed to include me getting the hump with your stupid questions now you want it, nik, you buy it.
Nik - What else do i get with it?
Tom - You get a gold plated rolls royce, as long as you pay for it.

Your not funny tom, your fat and look as though you should be, but your not

The life of brian
"Hes not the messiah hes a very naughty boy"

 

[whiteboy81]

I can't believe there haven't been any Monty Python's Holy Grail quotes...so here you go:

King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

Peasant: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Peasant: Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.

Knight 1: We are the Knights who say... NI.

Tim: Follow. But. Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

Gatekeeper: Those who wish to cross the bridge of death, must answer me these questions three, Then the other side ye see.

Also, not sure if this snuck in:
Il Duce: When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold in judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints. - Boondock Saints

 

[Fenixgoon]

YOU'RE FIRED!!!! ---the Ahhhhnold, in True Lies (when the terrorist guy is stuck to the harrier missile and arnold blows up the terrorist helicopter)

 

[Kaido]

Originally posted by: Gunbuster
Lord John Whorfin: Where are we going?
Red Lectroids: Planet Ten.
Lord John Whorfin: When?
Red Lectroids: Real soon.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Haha just saw that movie a few days ago, Gunbuster!

Also - "Crying is for babies, little girls, and men who just had their ears ripped off." -Thumb Wars

 

[Mik3y]

"keep on keepin' on"
-Joe Dirt

 

[Siddhartha]

"I am your king!" "Well, I didn't vote for you."
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Buddy this!"
The first Richard Pryor live in concert movie

"Who stepped on the duck?"
Caddy Shack

 

[EMPshockwave82]

"if he's here who's running hell" - Van wilder

these have too many to post the one liners so i just post the movie titles
evil dead
evil dead 2
army of darkness
bubba hotep

 

[bugsysiegel]

"This town needs an enema"

Jack Nicholson in Batman


"Oh, and get Knox here a grant"

Michael Keaton in Batman

 

[RedPickle]

"I need you like I need an @$$hole on my elbow"
-Rules of attraction

 

[rh71]

What is your major malfunction private ?!

 

[whiteboy81]

I forgot:

Ahhhhhhhaaaa! Jesters dead!! - Goose, Top Gun

 

[ShyguyMX6]

"Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart, shop S-Mart!"


Army Of Darkness




"It may not be my way, but damn if there dosn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... F*ckbeans. That was them, wasn't it?"

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

 

[KDOG]

I can't beleive this aint up yet.

"Its not a tuumahhh!!!" - Ahnold.

 

[Nebor]

"Aw damn, it's the niggras!"
-Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys II, busting up the KKK meeting.

 

[neilm]

"You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize."
-Reservoir Dogs

"We're all gonna have so much fooking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes!"
-National Lampoon's Vacation

"That's what I like about these high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age."
-Dazed and Confused

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
-Billy Madison

"Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fooking customers."
-Clerks

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fook the prom queen."
-The Rock

 

[Armitage]

Watery tarts lting in puddles handing out cutlery is no basis for a system of government.

 

[ElFenix]

'where all the white women at?'

'the sheriff is a nigBONG'

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Some from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. Season 5, the last episode, titled The Gift.

Yes, they are hardly one liners, but everyone else is breaking the rule too.


Anya: <upon finding a stuffed rabbit in the basement of the Magic Box> "God! Who would put something like that there! Is this supposed to be some sort of sick joke? As if things aren't bad enough!... This is an omen."
Xander: "Sshhh."
Anya: "No, no, no, it's an omen. It's a higher power telling me through bunnies that we're all gonna die!"



Xander: "Hey, I happen to be...."
Spike: "... a glorified bricklayer?"
Xander: "I'm also a swell bowler."
Anya: "Has his own shoes!"
Spike: "The gods themselves do tremble."




Glory: "You lost your hammer, Sweetcheeks. What're you gonna hit me with now?"
<wrecking ball comes through wall and into her>
Buffy: "Whatever's handy."
Xander: "The glorified bricklayer picks up a spare!"




Buffy: "Remember: The ritual starts, we all die; and I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn."
Spike: "Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?"
Giles: "We few, we happy few..."
Spike: "...we band of buggered."



Xander: "Spike's sex-bot. Why didn't they just melt it down into scrap?"
Anya: "Maybe Willow wanted it."
Xander: "I don't think Willow feels that way about Buffy... I mean, I know she's going through a lot of changes..."
Anya: "To study."
Xander: "Right. Robotics. Science."
Anya: "Pervert."
Xander: "Other pervert."

Buffy: "This is how many apocalypses for us now?"
Giles: "Oh, well... uh... six at least. Feels like a hundred."

 

[eLiu]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser
"Do you feel lucky, punk?"

"I'll be back!"

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it"

A few classics.

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

You took mine

 

[DiZASTiX]

Boondock saints is full of them, ecspecially from rocko

Rocko: "We could kill everyone!"

Rocko: "Pack your stuff, pack your sftuff!!! We gotta go!!!"

The list goes one, all saints fans know this.

 

[Queasy]

Quite a few from the Naked Gun Series:

"Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have feel may way through."

"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to keep on my toes."

"It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside."

"It's fourth and fifteen and you're looking at a full-court press."

"Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights."

"I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat."

"Saayyy, nice beaver."

"The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing..."

"Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested."

"I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils."

"I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was."

 

[Beller0ph1]

Originally posted by: xboxist
The Chronicles of Riddick: "I'm going to kill you with my teacup."

Hehehe, another from that classic movie....

"It's been a long time since I've smelled beautiful".