Feminists and Body image jokes, am I a jerk?

[gotsmack]

One of my friends (looks like Ellen Degeneres with light brown hair) is a lesbian and a feminists. I was hanging out with her (because she's super witty and fun to talk to) and another guy friend and we got into a discussion about body image and anorexia and I made a light hearted joke that if she was anorexic and a twig I would tell her that she is so hot and she would be perfect if she could lose that last pound.

She was very offended about this because she doesn't like it when people that have body image issues are made fun of. I don't think I was making fun of these people, but of the situation. I can see why she would be angry, but I don't feel bad about it.

Was I wrong for making the joke and why? I have an empathy problem and I can't relate to a lot of people so i need your help explaining this to me.

Also I'm the kind of person that thinks rape is not funny, but rape jokes are hilarious.

 

[Eug]

I made a light hearted joke that of she was anorexic and a twig I would tell her that she is so hot and she would be perfect if she could lose that last pound.

Wow. Seriously? Cuz that's pretty obnoxious.

I'm wondering if this isn't some sort of mock thread.

 

[Kyle]

Did you consider she may have a history or currently struggling with anorexia or body image issues? Or at the very least maybe is close to someone who does?

I get what you're saying that it was just a joke, but it may have hit a little too close to home for her.

 

[Kyle]

Wow. Seriously? Cuz that's pretty obnoxious.

I'm wondering if this isn't some sort of mock thread.

Yeah I agree- not much lighthearted about that, and not really funny...'if I was out with an alcoholic I'd pressure him in to just having one beer...' etc

 

[feralkid]

Also I'm the kind of person that thinks rape is not funny, but rape jokes are hilarious.

I would think that is something you should be discussing with your case worker.

 

[Kyle]

I'm wondering if this isn't some sort of mock thread.

Hopefully

 

[Ruptga]

Apparently she thinks so.

Wow. Seriously? Cuz that's pretty obnoxious.

I'm wondering if this isn't some sort of mock thread.

Yeah I agree- not much lighthearted about that, and not really funny...'if I was out with an alcoholic I'd pressure him in to just having one beer...' etc

And I agree. There's nothing funny about that, it's just an "edgy" statement with no wit.

 

[gotsmack]

Did you consider she may have a history or currently struggling with anorexia or body image issues? Or at the very least maybe is close to someone who does?

I get what you're saying that it was just a joke, but it may have hit a little too close to home for her.

I assure you she does not have anorexia, maybe she has body image issues, but I doubt it she is in good shape and doesn't let on that she has any of these issues. She has also stayed over at my place for the weekend, so if she were purging I would have an idea.

Yeah I agree- not much lighthearted about that, and not really funny...'if I was out with an alcoholic I'd pressure him in to just having one beer...' etc

While you mock me with that, I know better than to make fun of someone specifically, but if it's a group then it's game on.

I think the idea of pressuring an alcoholic to have a drink is funny, I would not do it because it's their struggle.

I think if you can't laugh about it, you're not over it.

I'm Chinese and I think some Chinese jokes are funny. A well constructed joke is good joke, regardless of the content.

 

[Ancalagon44]

No, it was a joke. What next, is there going to be a list of things you can't joke about?

Either everything can be made fun or nothing can.

 

[Kyle]

No, it was a joke. What next, is there going to be a list of things you can't joke about?

Either everything can be made fun or nothing can.

Well of course not- but on the other hand if you make a 'joke' like that, you can't really be surprised if a certain percentage of people are going to react negatively.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

You Monster!





(sarcasm)

 

[Captante]

Also I'm the kind of person that thinks rape is not funny, but rape jokes are hilarious.

I believe the word we are looking for here is tact? (or lack thereof)

Safe to assume a lesson has been learned?

 

[smackababy]

No, it was a joke. What next, is there going to be a list of things you can't joke about?

Either everything can be made fun or nothing can.

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

 

[bbhaag]

No, it was a joke. What next, is there going to be a list of things you can't joke about?

Either everything can be made fun or nothing can.

It's too late man. ATOT has decided the OP is a jerk. It's just best to walk away.

 

[Remobz]

It's too late man. ATOT has decided the OP is a jerk. It's just best to walk away.

*** feminist are pretty hard to please. Always seem to have some chip on their shoulders.

A joke is a joke even if it was not that funny.

 

[bbhaag]

Indeed...Like I said just best too walk away.

 

[Imp]

I don't know why you'd come on here for approval...

 

[tynopik]

I made a light hearted joke that if she was anorexic and a twig I would tell her that she is so hot and she would be perfect if she could lose that last pound.

I don't get it.

 

[Murloc]

I don't see the funny part.

 

[Genx87]

A lesbian feminist walked into a bar...

That description of your friend has fun written all over it.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Obviously you're second-guessing yourself or you wouldn't be asking us to tell you that you didn't screw up.

Just know that there are a lot of things you can talk about with some people, but not others.

 

[FerrelGeek]

I don't know why you'd come on here for approval...

This. A sizable portion of the inhabitants of ATOT and ATPN perpetually have a broomstick up their arse, actively looking for ways to be offended. This is an issues with far too many people in general these days.

That being said, there is such a thing as tact and knowing your audience. One of my best online friends is a bi feminist - absolutely love her to bits. But she's told me that she has problems with her hardcore les friends at times; she comments how narrow-minded they are and at times are intolerant of those that don't see things their way.

People in general need to lighten up and not look for reasons to blow a gasket. Being offended all the time doesn't translate into one being a better person.

 

[IronWing]

Taking a cue from the Professor or Hobo? website, I'd like to start a Vegan or Meth? website.

 

[SP33Demon]

Stop hanging out with feminists, especially these type. They will just bring you down and many secretly resent normal heteros because they don't fit in with the rest of the 97.7% of the population. Less than 3% of the pop identifies as gay/les/bi which factually means they aren't like the majority of us.

In the first large-scale government survey measuring Americans’ sexual orientation, the NHIS reported in July 2014 that 1.6 percent of Americans identify as gay or lesbian, and 0.7 percent considered themselves bisexual.[1]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_States
That equates to only 7~ million out of 330 million in this country.

 

[IronWing]

Stop hanging out with feminists, especially these type. They will just bring you down and many secretly resent normal heteros because they don't fit in with the rest of the 97.7% of the population. Less than 3% of the pop identifies as gay/les/bi which factually means they aren't like the majority of us.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_States
That equates to only 7~ million out of 330 million in this country.

So the odds of two woman at the same time are less than 0.4%? :'(