Feminists and Body image jokes, am I a jerk?

[Schmide]

I think the one thing the OP is missing is no matter how feminist or lesbian your friend is, she still has a bit of girl in her. A gay queen can be almost transparently a woman, but they still retain some natural psyche of their original gender and often exhibit a bit of tough guy. A butchish woman may like to hang with the guys and shoot the shit with them, but they still have some of that natural need for affirmation.

When telling any joke or perception on a social situation, it is best to not alienate your audience. For all you know your lady friend may retain a bit of attraction to you and by asserting your dream woman, even in a joke, as impossibly thin you made her feel less adequate.

 

[tynopik]

by asserting your dream woman, even in a joke, as impossibly thin you made her feel less adequate.

was that what he was saying? it sounded like he hated anorexics and was trying get them to kill themselves. or thought it would be funny if he could convince them to kill themselves?

but as i said, i didn't get it

 

[gotsmack]

I think the one thing the OP is missing is no matter how feminist or lesbian your friend is, she still has a bit of girl in her. A gay queen can be almost transparently a woman, but they still retain some natural psyche of their original gender and often exhibit a bit of tough guy. A butchish woman may like to hang with the guys and shoot the shit with them, but they still have some of that natural need for affirmation.

When telling any joke or perception on a social situation, it is best to not alienate your audience. For all you know your lady friend may retain a bit of attraction to you and by asserting your dream woman, even in a joke, as impossibly thin you made her feel less adequate.

Thanks, this is an interesting thought. While she may not want me, she might want me to want her.

was that what he was saying? it sounded like he hated anorexics and was trying get them to kill themselves. or thought it would be funny if he could convince them to kill themselves?

but as i said, i didn't get it

No, I don't hate anorexic people. I think it's funny in theory to make things worse and like to come up with scenarios where I could make things worse. In reality, making things worse sucks for everyone.

 

[gotsmack]

I believe the word we are looking for here is tact? (or lack thereof)

Safe to assume a lesson has been learned?

I agree that I need to learn be more tactful. I didn't know my audience. I thought she was one of the guys and I was mistaken.

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

They're not all funny to everyone. I thought it was funny because I was pointing out how I could make the situation worse while supporting her made up goals. It's like giving an addict whatever they're addicted to and then telling them something to make them feel good about their addiction. I like the idea of the difference in the action that seems to be helping but in reality is making things worse. I'm not saying I actually do these things, but I do think it's fun to dream up actions that make things worse.

I don't see the funny part.

I don't get it.

See above explanation. I guess we have a different sense of humor. She knew I was joking and her arguement was that it was mean to joke about these people. So she was saying it was off limits for jokes.

 

[Ruptga]

OP I hope you learned something today; like how gays aggressively want to be offended and are resentful because of their defect, but they don't like to be put down because they're still a little normal inside.

See above explanation. I guess we have a different sense of humor. She knew I was joking and her arguement was that it was mean to joke about these people. So she was saying it was off limits for jokes.

You described her as witty and yourself as having an empathy problem, so consider the possibility that it's more than just a difference in humor. If you had instead said something like "if you were anorexic how would we be able to tell?" I guarantee things would have gone over better. She still may have not liked it, but that's the difference between humor and just throwing out edgy comments.

 

[gotsmack]

Stop hanging out with feminists, especially these type. They will just bring you down and many secretly resent normal heteros because they don't fit in with the rest of the 97.7% of the population. Less than 3% of the pop identifies as gay/les/bi which factually means they aren't like the majority of us.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_States
That equates to only 7~ million out of 330 million in this country.

Thanks, I'm thinking the same. I'll just stay away from feminists from now on

So the odds of two woman at the same time are less than 0.4%? :'(

Gold!

 

[Atomic Playboy]

The most important part of any joke is the audience. Dead baby jokes might kill in the frathouse but the people in the old folks' home will probably not be amused. I don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with playing up a jerk persona in pursuit of a good joke (many comedians make a career out of it), but you always need to be mindful of who you're pitching that joke to.

That said, this person seems overly sensitive. It's not like you actually found an anorexic chick and harassed her.

 

[Maximilian]

The most important part of any joke is the audience. Dead baby jokes might kill in the frathouse but the people in the old folks' home will probably not be amused. I don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with playing up a jerk persona in pursuit of a good joke (many comedians make a career out of it), but you always need to be mindful of who you're pitching that joke to.

That said, this person seems overly sensitive. It's not like you actually found an anorexic chick and harassed her.

Strong logic here :thumbsup:

Also don't hang out with feminists OP

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Also don't hang out with feminists OP

It's not feminists, necessarily, it's any moral crusader who takes themself too seriously. If you can't let yourself be the butt of a joke, you're obnoxious and difficult to be around.

 

[FerrelGeek]

It's not feminists, necessarily, it's any moral crusader who takes themself too seriously. If you can't let yourself be the butt of a joke, you're obnoxious and difficult to be around.

Bingo!!

 

[Aharami]

rape jokes are hilarious.

Yea, you're kind of a jerk

 

[BoberFett]

I could see a joke like that being funny if you were a comedian on stage. Of course people get offended by everything comedians are joking about now too, nothing is safe from social justice warriors.

As others have said though, gotta know your audience. One of my friends and I make horribly racist, sexist, and all around offensive jokes when we're together. But that's because both of us know it's a joke, know that's not what we really think, and we wouldn't say those things around other people.

 

[randay]

is a lesbian and a feminists. I was hanging out with her

WELP

let me explain: you were hanging out with her because you are a normal person who thinks of hanging out with people they like. she was hanging out with you to get fuel for her feminist ideals. sorry.

 

[nakedfrog]

OP I hope you learned something today; like how gays aggressively want to be offended and are resentful because of their defect, but they don't like to be put down because they're still a little normal inside.

You're an idiot.

The most important part of any joke is the audience. Dead baby jokes might kill in the frathouse but the people in the old folks' home will probably not be amused. I don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with playing up a jerk persona in pursuit of a good joke (many comedians make a career out of it), but you always need to be mindful of who you're pitching that joke to.

That said, this person seems overly sensitive. It's not like you actually found an anorexic chick and harassed her.

I agree.

 

[Schmide]

I agree that I need to learn be more tactful. I didn't know my audience. I thought she was one of the guys and I was mistaken.

She is one of the guys dude. The problem here is you blaming her reaction on her sexual disposition and not even entertaining the possibility that she or someone she knows has an eating disorder. (or elsewhere)

Not every guy is going to give you a not cool bro pass.

 

[MongGrel]

You described her as witty and yourself as having an empathy problem, so consider the possibility that it's more than just a difference in humor. If you had instead said something like "if you were anorexic how would we be able to tell?" I guarantee things would have gone over better. She still may have not liked it, but that's the difference between humor and just throwing out edgy comments.

The most important part of any joke is the audience. Dead baby jokes might kill in the frathouse but the people in the old folks' home will probably not be amused. I don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with playing up a jerk persona in pursuit of a good joke (many comedians make a career out of it), but you always need to be mindful of who you're pitching that joke to.

That said, this person seems overly sensitive. It's not like you actually found an anorexic chick and harassed her.

It's not feminists, necessarily, it's any moral crusader who takes themself too seriously. If you can't let yourself be the butt of a joke, you're obnoxious and difficult to be around.

:thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[Homerboy]

First rule of comedy (or attempted comedy in the OP's case):

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

 

[smackababy]

I agree that I need to learn be more tactful. I didn't know my audience. I thought she was one of the guys and I was mistaken.




They're not all funny to everyone. I thought it was funny because I was pointing out how I could make the situation worse while supporting her made up goals. It's like giving an addict whatever they're addicted to and theb telling them something toake them ceel good about their addiction. I like the idea of the difference in the action that seems to be helping but in reality is making things worse. I'm not saying I actually do these things, but I do think it's fun to dream up actions that make things worse.






See above explanation. I guess we have a different sense of humor. She knew I was joking and her arguement was that it was mean to joke about these people. So she was saying it was off limits for jokes.

It wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny. You stated "if I was around someone with a serious eating disorder, I would be a total asshole and further enable through encouragement." That isn't a joke; that is just being an asshole.

Her reaction was a bit overdramatic, but it has nothing do with her sexuality or her feminism. It likely has more to do with her or someone she is close with struggling with body image because of these types of "jokes" being put forth by idiots.

 

[MrPickins]

OP needs to leave the edgy comedy to Anthony Jeselnik.

Clearly, he sucks at it.

 

[Ruptga]

You're an idiot.

I was just paraphrasing the recent posts, don't shoot the messenger.

 

[futurefields]

Apparently she thinks so.



And I agree. There's nothing funny about that, it's just an "edgy" statement with no wit.

well i disagree, i thought it was hilarious

 

[MongGrel]

well i disagree, i thought it was hilarious

That would be typical of you more or less.

 

[Nebor]

Jokes are just that: jokes. When people start saying that you can't tell certain jokes, because they're about rape, or racism, or 9/11, then what they're telling you is that there are certain things you're not allowed to talk about, and opinions you're not allowed to have.

If I were in your shoes, faced by a feminist lesbian defending a perceived slight against body acceptance in a joke? "It's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard."

 

[gotsmack]

It wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny. You stated "if I was around someone with a serious eating disorder, I would be a total asshole and further enable through encouragement." That isn't a joke; that is just being an asshole.

Her reaction was a bit overdramatic, but it has nothing do with her sexuality or her feminism. It likely has more to do with her or someone she is close with struggling with body image because of these types of "jokes" being put forth by idiots.

No, it was funny to me and my guy friend that was there because it was on topic and we were doing "this is how I would make things worse" type jokes. They weren't jokes with punch lines, but more interesting commentary.

I don't think I'm being a jerk for enabling a fictional person's disorder. If it was a real person, I know better than to do it, but the idea of enabling is funny to me, because I am providing support when conventional wisdom says not to and then the resulting action from me is ridiculous. Ridiculous actions are funny to me.

 

[tynopik]

No, it was funny to me and my guy friend that was there because it was on topic and we were doing "this is how I would make things worse" type jokes. They weren't jokes with punch lines, but more interesting commentary.

ok, it actually makes sense in that context

but that is a VERY different context than what you said earlier

we got into a discussion about body image and anorexia and I made a light hearted joke

if you and your buddy were just ripping off a string of 'how i would make things worse' statements then eh, whatever

but to just randomly do it in a conversation about body image is weird

if there was a significant gap between the two conversations, maybe you were making a connection back to your earlier lines while she wasn't making the connection