Fiance's car TAKEN!

[imported_griffis]

ATOT,

This is sort of a rant/advice topic. Here is the gist of things. My fiance is 22 and about a year ago her father bought her a brand new Mazda 3 for doing well in school. Recently we became engaged and then shortly found out after our engagement that she was pregnant(WOOT!!). Anyways, so a couple months go by and her father decides he is taking the car away because he thinks we are two young( I am 23) to have children and get married and basically tells us that this child will ruin our lives and he will not support it.

So, fast forward to today, the car is gone. I don't agree with the fact that he bought her a brand new car in the first place but no point in arguing that. I REALLY don't agree with the fact that we get a 4 day notice that he is going to take the car away because now we are left with one car and scrambling to find a decent used car for only a few thousand dollars. Basically, the guy is a POS and needs to be burned at the stake. I know sometimes your kids can do things you do not agree with but taking a car away for it? That's not right.

I need also to mention that he does NOT want to be the grandfather for this child we are bringing into this world. I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care. I am just appauled that a 50 year old adult would act this way towards his daughter.

P.S. - This guy used to beat her when she was younger and is remarried with two more children who are both 4(twins). Also, he has disowned his outher daughter who is now 19 because he also does not agree with some things she has done. Nothing serious by any means though.

Thoughts?!


Cliffs for the lazy:

1. Fiance and me get engaged
2. Find out she is pregnant (YEAH!!)
3. Fiance's father takes car because of her being pregnant
4. Father says he does not want to be grandfather
5. Bad father all around used ot be beat her
6. Now left with trying to find a decent used car for her to drive

UPDATE 1:

Ok, so we ended buying her a 93 Jeep Grand Cherokee for cash in pretty good condition. Made a couple minor repairs and now she actually owns a car. Last week, she calls her dad to discuss a life insurance policy because I have recently uped mine and were looking at getting her some as well in case something happens after the baby is born. Well, during that call he starts saying he wants to be a part of her life again and that everyone is telling him to stop being such an a$$. So, the first thing he wants to do is meet with me tonight over dinner. My fiance believes that since I never had the change to ask him for her hand in marraige that this is the time plus she wants me to smooth other things over. What would you do?! Thanks for all the input as well.

UPDATE 2:

Ok, so I went to the dinner. It started off kind of rocky, him saying he didn't agree with us having a child so young, saying he thought his daughter's life was ruined and so on and so forth. Before he even finished I interrupted and said " Listen, I understand this is alot to take in but the best thing for you to do is embrace this child, after all that is what we are doing. Your daughter wants you to be a part of her life but in order for you to do that, just deal with the fact she is pregnant and will be having your grandson. If you have a problem with that you need to let me know." Obviously that wasn't word for word but somethign along those lines. Anyways, he suprisingly admitted to me that his actions were overreactive and as a father he should have not walked away from her or the unborn child. He ensures he will aplogize to her but we shall see. There was obviously alot more things discussed over the 2 hour period but me and him both got alot off our chests and laid the law of the land down for both sides. I'm still hesitant of him of course because of his past actions but I believe for my lady this is something good for her. He is trying and I can't force him out of her life casue she will end up hating me. Basically, things are now kind of in his court. He agreed to help pay for the wedding if we wanted, I dont, and now wants to come to the baby shower. ATOT, don't think I have changed my opinion on this guy but I will give him a chance under extremely strict supervision. It is her father after all. Im just happy I walked away with the dinner without punching dude in the face, thats an accomplishment for me, haha. Ok, ready for the trolling, any thoughts questions and comments?

 

[iamwiz82]

Her father bought the car, end of story. Obviously there is precedence for his actions, yet she still allowed him to buy it.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Whose name was the car in?

 

[lokiju]

Wow, well at that point just be ready to cut him off for awhile and go find her a cheapo used car.

Congrats on her being preggers though!

 

[CVSiN]

If her name was on the title.. its grand theft auto regardless of who bought the car...

if it was in his name he never really gave it to her and its his choice..

and her stupidity for never checking..

 

[40Hands]

Not that you should care about my opinion, but I also think 22 and 23 is far to young for having children. Live life a little before you sign it away to a child.

 

[acemcmac]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Her father bought the car, end of story. Obviously there is precedence for his actions, yet she still allowed him to buy it.

 

[imported_griffis]

His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all

Originally posted by: BroeBo
Not that you should care about my opinion, but I also think 22 and 23 is far to young for having children. Live life a little before you sign it away to a child.

I do understand your opinion here but I graduated college early and can afford the child on just my salary alone. She works to pay for misc. stuff. Not that I can't afford another car just kind of sucks being thrown into a situation with no preparation.

 

[ATLien247]

Sounds to me like you don't need him (or his car) in your lives. And IMHO, 22-23 years old is not too young to have children, so long as you're financially and emotionally prepared to be a good parent.

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Her father bought the car, end of story. Obviously there is precedence for his actions, yet she still allowed him to buy it.

He bought it for her because he was proud of her and then rips it out of her hands the moment we find out life is being created. BTW, the pregnancy was unplanned although I am in no way upset about it. Seems a little disheartening to me. The question is do you have children and if so would you react the same?

 

[Turin39789]

start looking.

got a bicycle? Great for short trips, if you work within a few miles you can make it work.

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: ATLien247
Sounds to me like you don't need him (or his car) in your lives. And IMHO, 22-23 years old is not too young to have children, so long as you're financially and emotionally prepared to be a good parent.

I agree, not really about the car just more about the emotional damage he has done to her. There were alot of very hateful things said when he found she was pregnant. Believe me I am sugarcoating this story. Financially we are fine and emotionally we are both loving people who can't wait to be parents.

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: Turin39789
start looking.

got a bicycle? Great for short trips, if you work within a few miles you can make it work.

Unfortunately living near where you work in Atlanta is almost possible. If so, I would do it

 

[Kaido]

Lease a car. My Saturn is about $200 a month and includes maintenance; the only thing I do on it is put gas in and pay insurance on it. As long as you have a steady job, you can afford it.

You're not too young to get married; I got married when I was 21 and I'm 23 now. It will work if you're willing to make it work. End of story, regardless of what anyone else says.

 

[I Saw OJ]

Sounds like a dick head, but better to get him out of your life now then latter on down the road when the kid is around to see it.

 

[imported_griffis]

My only issue with leasing a car is constraints on mileage. I have $5000 in emergency cash we are using to buy a car with just kind of a PITA.

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: I Saw OJ
Sounds like a dick head, but better to get him out of your life now then latter on down the road when the kid is around to see it.

QFT

 

[slsmnaz]

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all

What did you expect? She has no legal right to the car, period. Everything else is just filler for your story. Do I agree w/ his actions? No, but you can't argue who owns the car.

And I find your "abuse" claims a little out there. No one puts physical abuse in a P.S. at the end of their post unless they're looking for a reason to keep people feeling sorry for them.

You learned a lesson and you will be learning many more. The only advice I have is to remember how her father acted and NEVER turn out like him.

 

[woowoo]

Who's her daddy now?
(Buy her a car...)

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: slsmnaz

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all

What did you expect? She has no legal right to the car, period. Everything else is just filler for your story. Do I agree w/ his actions? No, but you can't argue who owns the car.

And I find your "abuse" claims a little out there. No one puts physical abuse in a P.S. at the end of their post unless they're looking for a reason to keep people feeling sorry for them.

You learned a lesson and you will be learning many more. The only advice I have is to remember how her father acted and NEVER turn out like him.

Exactly.

And regarding using that $5,000 to buy another car, I'd HIGHLY suggest you save it for the bills that come with the child. Find a beater and let her drive your car, if it's in better condition.

 

[misle]

He sounds like an ass. Move on, forget the car (his name on the title, his car). Find a decent cheap car and enjoy your new life. Letting him interfere is just going to make things worse.

 

[Turin39789]

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all

Originally posted by: BroeBo
Not that you should care about my opinion, but I also think 22 and 23 is far to young for having children. Live life a little before you sign it away to a child.

I do understand your opinion here but I graduated college early and can afford the child on just my salary alone. She works to pay for misc. stuff. Not that I can't afford another car just kind of sucks being thrown into a situation with no preparation.

I think you're mad at her father and you're looking for someone to yell at. All anyone was saying was that legally if his name is on the title he has the legal right to take it back and you can't call the cops on him.


And shop for a cheap car, if you know anything about maint. reparis you'll be better off in this respect, but you can definetly find a car that will last for a few years for under $1000, or you can get on of those high class $1500 dollar cars.

My first car in 2000 was a 1987 dodge k-car with 67k miles on it. Ugly, old, but enginge was good and I ran it hard for 3 years before it gave up. Just put in gas, oil and brake pads.

I looked for a good deal and I'm now driving a 97 volvo 960 with 102k miles on it that I bought for $450 dollars. It's been hit, but it's just body damage.

Nothing wrong with driving an ugly car, they tend to be cheaper.

 

[CVSiN]

Originally posted by: griffis

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Her father bought the car, end of story. Obviously there is precedence for his actions, yet she still allowed him to buy it.

He bought it for her because he was proud of her and then rips it out of her hands the moment we find out life is being created. BTW, the pregnancy was unplanned although I am in no way upset about it. Seems a little disheartening to me. The question is do you have children and if so would you react the same?

See heres where youre wrong.. he never "bought it for her" people that buy something for someone put it in THIER name.. not thier own....
he LOANED her a car and its his perogative to take it back..

this is what you get for trusting the sob..

next time someone buys you a vehcile.. MAKE SURE ONLY YOUR NAME IS ON TITLE...
stops crap like this from happeneing..
there are no arguments when you are the one thats responsible for it.

 

[Mucho]

Maybe the guy think you are a piece POS as well.

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82

Originally posted by: slsmnaz

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all

What did you expect? She has no legal right to the car, period. Everything else is just filler for your story. Do I agree w/ his actions? No, but you can't argue who owns the car.

And I find your "abuse" claims a little out there. No one puts physical abuse in a P.S. at the end of their post unless they're looking for a reason to keep people feeling sorry for them.

You learned a lesson and you will be learning many more. The only advice I have is to remember how her father acted and NEVER turn out like him.

Exactly.

And regarding using that $5,000 to buy another car, I'd HIGHLY suggest you save it for the bills that come with the child. Find a beater and let her drive your car, if it's in better condition.

A little out there? I am not looking for sympathy in all honesty, I could really give a damn. Just wanted to see what people thought is all. You can have your opinion. I am not trying to call the cops on the guy nor am I trying to get him in trouble. As far as using the money to buy the car, let me worry about the financials, you would be surprised what a 23 year old would know about what is to be expected for children. She has no legal right?! Yet when you give a gift to someone such as an engagement ring or maybe a bracelet, by law that person can keep it no matter what. The car was given to her, if I really wanted to chase this out in court I could.