Fiance's car TAKEN!

[shadow9d9]

If the car was given to her, it very well could be considered a gift, even if title wasn't transferred yet.

I understand nutty families... my now wife(she just turned 24) had a similar situation a few years ago. She was going to get a free car from her aunt... but her parents went and badmouthed her(my wife) so that she wouldn't get the car... that was nothing compared to other things they did though... to add insult to injury, her brother(the one that has no life, no girlfriend ever, and stays at home with them still) eventually got that free car.

We had the wedding without inviting them... as an apology, they eventually threw a wedding for us on their side of the family that was free for us and we got gifts of course... so it semi-worked out in the end.

It isn't fun, but people are nuts. Don't fight with them, cut them out completely, let them learn, and then in a year or so, and ONLY then, give it another shot.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: griffis

Thoughts?!

it is his car
if she wants to be an adult, she can get her own car

 

[OrganizedChaos]

if its his name on the title its not really her car then now is it.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: theNEOone

i was hit when i was a kid also, but that's part of the discipline i received. i know several people that might say that i was "beat" just to prove a particular point, when in reality it was just a well deserved spanking. i'm inclined to believe that either you're exaggerating her father's disciplinary tactics to gain sympathy, or your fiance took the liberty of embellishing the story when she told you about her childhood.

Yeah, with our generation that was normal and accepted. Not so much anymore, so someone could easily twist something that was normal back then to be a "beating." My older bother and I lived in fear of the wooden spoon. My younger brother (6 years younger) was never spanked in his life.

1. one thing that you mentioned, with which i agree, is that you're never prepared prepared for a child - regardless of whether your 24 or 42, you never know what to expect. however, this is NOT the point. at 42 (and 32) you're MUCH better prepared than at 22 and 23. i don't understand how anybody can argue this point. at 23, you are better off waiting to have children.

:thumbsup:

2. you mentioned

"Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all"

if that's not the most ridiculous statement i've read, then it most certainly ties for second. how can you reconcile this statement with other posts? who in their right mind would condone physical abuse? i don't know if somehow you grossly misinterpreted somebody's post, or are again trying to rally sympathy and support by skewing the issue.

Yeah, that was about the most retarded post in this thread considering nobody said anything like that.

And "emotionally beat her up?" Grow a set.

3. also, you mentioned

"I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care."

**squint ** did i read this right?? if the grandfather takes away the car, he's revoking his rights as a grandparent?? is it just me, or does someone picture a 14 year old girl crying and yelling at her mom that she'll disown her parents if they don't let her go out with her boyfriend? honestly, i would laugh at you too. it seems rather immature (and ineffective) to wager the relationship between a GRANDPARENT AND THEIR GRANDCHILD ON A CAR.

I thought the same, but I'll take his word for it that there are other reasons.



Yeah I agreed with pretty much everything you said.

 

[KK]

I'd watch out with this girl. She evidently comes from a fvcked up home, I doubt that behavior will stop with her parents. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I give this relationship 5 years, and only that long because of the kids. But hey, I could be wrong.

 

[thomsbrain]

you're better off without him or his car.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: theNEOone
1. one thing that you mentioned, with which i agree, is that you're never prepared prepared for a child - regardless of whether your 24 or 42, you never know what to expect. however, this is NOT the point. at 42 (and 32) you're MUCH better prepared than at 22 and 23. i don't understand how anybody can argue this point. at 23, you are better off waiting to have children.

I agree with much of you post, and after reading OP's responses, I'm edging towards shens (part or all).

I take issue with what I've quoted and think the point is debatable. There is research to support the idea that it is not better off waiting, however it may be socially and professionally 'easier' to wait.

It seems reasonable to say if you're ready at 22 you'll only be more ready at 32, however I don't think it's reasonable to assume that if you 're not ready at 22 you will be at 32...
Emotional readiness for marriage and parenthood is nore than just a function of age, I believe.

 

[TheNinja]

The father sounds like an ass, but I have issues with parents who buy their kids brand new cars, especially nice ones. I think he was within his rights to take it back since he bought it...kind of uncool though. I think you are in for a life of buying nice things for your wife if she is used to getting free nice things from her dad....as much of a scumbag as he is.

 

[cavemanmoron]

Whose name is the title, insurance, etc in?

If it was in His name, it was His car.

Ride the bus/carpool/save some money for a Mortgage.

Originally posted by: griffis
ATOT,

This is sort of a rant/advice topic. Here is the gist of things. My fiance is 22 and about a year ago her father bought her a brand new Mazda 3 for doing well in school. Recently we became engaged and then shortly found out after our engagement that she was pregnant(WOOT!!). Anyways, so a couple months go by and her father decides he is taking the car away because he thinks we are two young( I am 23) to have children and get married and basically tells us that this child will ruin our lives and he will not support it.

So, fast forward to today, the car is gone. I don't agree with the fact that he bought her a brand new car in the first place but no point in arguing that. I REALLY don't agree with the fact that we get a 4 day notice that he is going to take the car away because now we are left with one car and scrambling to find a decent used car for only a few thousand dollars. Basically, the guy is a POS and needs to be burned at the stake. I know sometimes your kids can do things you do not agree with but taking a car away for it? That's not right.

I need also to mention that he does NOT want to be the grandfather for this child we are bringing into this world. I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care. I am just appauled that a 50 year old adult would act this way towards his daughter.

P.S. - This guy used to beat her when she was younger and is remarried with two more children who are both 4(twins). Also, he has disowned his outher daughter who is now 19 because he also does not agree with some things she has done. Nothing serious by any means though.

Thoughts?!


Cliffs for the lazy:

1. Fiance and me get engaged
2. Find out she is pregnant (YEAH!!)
3. Fiance's father takes car because of her being pregnant
4. Father says he does not want to be grandfather
5. Bad father all around used ot be beat her
6. Now left with trying to find a decent used car for her to drive

 

[yllus]

You sound like you're very, very far from being mature enough to handle a child.

 

[KarenMarie]

What kind of father he is/was has absolutely no bearing on the current situation.

He bought the car and he took it back.

She is of majority and needs to be prepared to take care of herself at the drop of a hat.

you are engaged so you should expect the never ending drama and added expenditure.

sorry.

 

[Kaieye]

I wouldn't dwell to much on the car. It is just transportation so just get a beater car for now. Prepare yourself to being a good father because you are going to get a lot wiser and parenthood is going to consume a lot of your free time that you had. Move on but don't forget what happened.

 

[Steve]

Does nobody read any of the OP's posts?

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: sm8000
Does nobody read any of the OP's posts?

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

where does it say that?

 

[Iron Addict]

hire some thugs and beat the living soul out of his ass

 

[JulesMaximus]

Her father is a douche. Disown him from your lives. Best thing you can do.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: sm8000
Does nobody read any of the OP's posts?

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

where does it say that?

It doesn't, he's trolling.

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

 

[Iron Addict]

Originally posted by: sm8000
Does nobody read any of the OP's posts?

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

wow. you just broke stupidity's threshold.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: mugs
22 and pregnant and excited about it? I think the old man is right, you're too young to be having kids. You're scambling to find a used car for only a few thousand? Doesn't sound like you're financially prepared for kids.

Now don't get me wrong, people can have kids at a young age and do just fine. My parents had me when they were 21, and I have a brother who is 3 years older than me. But it's not easy. That baby will be your life for the next several years. I have a friend who is my age who had a kid when he was 23 - they're great parents, but it's tough to do anything with them because you always have to consider the baby.

I think her father is probably just concerned that you don't know all that having a baby involves. His solution is a bad one, because it makes the situation worse - but it's also a wake-up call. You have to be able to live without any financial support from your father-in-law.

And by the way, threatening to not let him be a grandparent to the kid because he took the car away was not a smart move. Grandparents come in handy as babysitters.

This is plain foolish.. Your first paragraph is negated by your second.. unless you intimately know the poster.. to judge someone from an internet post and determine whether they would be fit parents is pure idiocy!

 

[LtPage1]

Good. You never have to see that a-hole again, now.

 

[Fern]

Originally posted by: griffis
....I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care...........

I'd keep the kid out of it.

If he ever wants to see the grandkid, let him. Just keep an eye on him. I wouldn't deprive a kid of their grandparent, even a bad one. Sometimes when a grandparent (or even a parent) doesn't wanna see them, the kid blames him/herself.

Otherwise, I suggest you act like "no big deal" that the car is gone from now on. Don't give him the pleasure.

No, its not right that he "gave", then took the car away. But what you gonna do? You can't choose your relatives, just your friends.

People are shafted by their relatives all the time. I'm the oldest of 3 children. My parents made we start working when I was 10 yrs old etc. Not my younger brothers, my parent purchased cars for them (I had to buy my own). I'm the only one who went to college etc.

I just found out my parents are leaving the inheretence to my youngest brother. Their reason? He doesn't have a good education and can't fend for himself etc. Why didn't he go to college? Because he doesn't like school so he dropped out of highschool and became a stoner.

Is that fair? I don't think so, but fvck it I'll just blow it off and still let my son have time with his grandparents.

Good Luck with it and your kid.

Fern

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: BigJ

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: sm8000
Does nobody read any of the OP's posts?

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

There were three names on the title.

where does it say that?

It doesn't, he's trolling.

Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.

yeah i didnt think he did. i just wanted to make sure.

 

[sixone]

This bozo has been physically and emotionally abusive to his daughter in the past, and you thought he was just going to hand her a car out of the goodness of his heart? Yeah, right.

Are you familiar with that old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Shame on your fiancee.

 

[fbrdphreak]

Recently we became engaged and then shortly found out after our engagement that she was pregnant(WOOT!!). Anyways, so a couple months go by and her father decides he is taking the car away because he thinks we are two young( I am 23) to have children and get married and basically tells us that this child will ruin our lives and he will not support it.

You two are morons, I'm sorry to say. Having a kid that young is a recipe for disaster. If you're very well off financially there will be less stress, but having a kid that young will be disasterous in the first place. The father is right and while that decision may not have been the best, you shouldn't be having this kid. You will regret it.

 

[amicold]

Originally posted by: griffis

Originally posted by: halik
welcome to the real world... and wht the hell did you knock up a 22 year old girl? Woot my ass, i very much doubt that you're ready to have kids.

Knock up?! We were already engaged. Graduating college two years ago and already making decent money hardly makes me unprepared. You can ask a thirty year old when they have kids if they were ready and they would tell you no. Sounds like you are either single or could care less about having children. Last time I checked a "girl" was not 22 years old. You have a skewed opinion here

All crap aside calling a 22 year old a woman is an over-statement as well. I don't think it's a child bearing age really, all the young mothers I see don't look ready for kids, they still look like a child themselves.