Life will catch up with the stoner brother. Once your parents inheritance runs out, he'll start leeching off his siblings. As long as you don't let him leech, the lesson will get learned.
Originally posted by: Fern
Originally posted by: griffis
....I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care...........
I'd keep the kid out of it.
If he ever wants to see the grandkid, let him. Just keep an eye on him. I wouldn't deprive a kid of their grandparent, even a bad one. Sometimes when a grandparent (or even a parent) doesn't wanna see them, the kid blames him/herself.
Otherwise, I suggest you act like "no big deal" that the car is gone from now on. Don't give him the pleasure.
No, its not right that he "gave", then took the car away. But what you gonna do? You can't choose your relatives, just your friends.
People are shafted by their relatives all the time. I'm the oldest of 3 children. My parents made we start working when I was 10 yrs old etc. Not my younger brothers, my parent purchased cars for them (I had to buy my own). I'm the only one who went to college etc.
I just found out my parents are leaving the inheretence to my youngest brother. Their reason? He doesn't have a good education and can't fend for himself etc. Why didn't he go to college? Because he doesn't like school so he dropped out of highschool and became a stoner.
Is that fair? I don't think so, but fvck it I'll just blow it off and still let my son have time with his grandparents.
Good Luck with it and your kid.
Fern
Originally posted by: griffis
ATOT,
This is sort of a rant/advice topic. Here is the gist of things. My fiance is 22 and about a year ago her father bought her a brand new Mazda 3 for doing well in school. Recently we became engaged and then shortly found out after our engagement that she was pregnant(WOOT!!). Anyways, so a couple months go by and her father decides he is taking the car away because he thinks we are two young( I am 23) to have children and get married and basically tells us that this child will ruin our lives and he will not support it.
So, fast forward to today, the car is gone. I don't agree with the fact that he bought her a brand new car in the first place but no point in arguing that. I REALLY don't agree with the fact that we get a 4 day notice that he is going to take the car away because now we are left with one car and scrambling to find a decent used car for only a few thousand dollars. Basically, the guy is a POS and needs to be burned at the stake. I know sometimes your kids can do things you do not agree with but taking a car away for it? That's not right.
I need also to mention that he does NOT want to be the grandfather for this child we are bringing into this world. I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care. I am just appauled that a 50 year old adult would act this way towards his daughter.
P.S. - This guy used to beat her when she was younger and is remarried with two more children who are both 4(twins). Also, he has disowned his outher daughter who is now 19 because he also does not agree with some things she has done. Nothing serious by any means though.
Thoughts?!
Cliffs for the lazy:
1. Fiance and me get engaged
2. Find out she is pregnant (YEAH!!)
3. Fiance's father takes car because of her being pregnant
4. Father says he does not want to be grandfather
5. Bad father all around used ot be beat her
6. Now left with trying to find a decent used car for her to drive
Originally posted by: RyanSengara
As ****** as it is it's his right and I tahts the leverage being a parent gives you.
Originally posted by: griffis
ATOT,
This is sort of a rant/advice topic. Here is the gist of things. My fiance is 22 and about a year ago her father bought her a brand new Mazda 3 for doing well in school. Recently we became engaged and then shortly found out after our engagement that she was pregnant(WOOT!!). Anyways, so a couple months go by and her father decides he is taking the car away because he thinks we are two young( I am 23) to have children and get married and basically tells us that this child will ruin our lives and he will not support it.
So, fast forward to today, the car is gone. I don't agree with the fact that he bought her a brand new car in the first place but no point in arguing that. I REALLY don't agree with the fact that we get a 4 day notice that he is going to take the car away because now we are left with one car and scrambling to find a decent used car for only a few thousand dollars. Basically, the guy is a POS and needs to be burned at the stake. I know sometimes your kids can do things you do not agree with but taking a car away for it? That's not right.
I need also to mention that he does NOT want to be the grandfather for this child we are bringing into this world. I let him know that if he took the car away then he was also revoking his right as a grandparent, he basically laughed at me and said he didn't care. I am just appauled that a 50 year old adult would act this way towards his daughter.
P.S. - This guy used to beat her when she was younger and is remarried with two more children who are both 4(twins). Also, he has disowned his outher daughter who is now 19 because he also does not agree with some things she has done. Nothing serious by any means though.
Thoughts?!
Cliffs for the lazy:
1. Fiance and me get engaged
2. Find out she is pregnant (YEAH!!)
3. Fiance's father takes car because of her being pregnant
4. Father says he does not want to be grandfather
5. Bad father all around used ot be beat her
6. Now left with trying to find a decent used car for her to drive
Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.
I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all
Originally posted by: BroeBo
Not that you should care about my opinion, but I also think 22 and 23 is far to young for having children. Live life a little before you sign it away to a child.
I do understand your opinion here but I graduated college early and can afford the child on just my salary alone. She works to pay for misc. stuff. Not that I can't afford another car just kind of sucks being thrown into a situation with no preparation.
Originally posted by: JEDIYoda
Originally posted by: griffis
His name was on the title. I don't think it's stupidity for not putting her name on it as well. My dad's name is still on my title along with mine. We only did that for insurance purposes.
I am a little shocked for some of the reactions here. Some of you people actually agree that since the car was in his name that he had a right to beat her as a child and emotionally beat her up as well? Especially when she's pregnant? I mean just seems a little harsh is all
Originally posted by: BroeBo
Not that you should care about my opinion, but I also think 22 and 23 is far to young for having children. Live life a little before you sign it away to a child.
I do understand your opinion here but I graduated college early and can afford the child on just my salary alone. She works to pay for misc. stuff. Not that I can't afford another car just kind of sucks being thrown into a situation with no preparation.
I shocked that you attempt to play the sympathy card in order to sway our opinion.
Whats does her father beating her as a child have to do with squat??
Originally posted by: KK
I'd watch out with this girl. She evidently comes from a fvcked up home, I doubt that behavior will stop with her parents. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I give this relationship 5 years, and only that long because of the kids. But hey, I could be wrong.
Originally posted by: shadow9d9
Originally posted by: mugs
22 and pregnant and excited about it? I think the old man is right, you're too young to be having kids. You're scambling to find a used car for only a few thousand? Doesn't sound like you're financially prepared for kids.
Now don't get me wrong, people can have kids at a young age and do just fine. My parents had me when they were 21, and I have a brother who is 3 years older than me. But it's not easy. That baby will be your life for the next several years. I have a friend who is my age who had a kid when he was 23 - they're great parents, but it's tough to do anything with them because you always have to consider the baby.
I think her father is probably just concerned that you don't know all that having a baby involves. His solution is a bad one, because it makes the situation worse - but it's also a wake-up call. You have to be able to live without any financial support from your father-in-law.
And by the way, threatening to not let him be a grandparent to the kid because he took the car away was not a smart move. Grandparents come in handy as babysitters.
This is plain foolish.. Your first paragraph is negated by your second.. unless you intimately know the poster.. to judge someone from an internet post and determine whether they would be fit parents is pure idiocy!
Originally posted by: amicold
Originally posted by: griffis
Originally posted by: halik
welcome to the real world... and wht the hell did you knock up a 22 year old girl? Woot my ass, i very much doubt that you're ready to have kids.
Knock up?! We were already engaged. Graduating college two years ago and already making decent money hardly makes me unprepared. You can ask a thirty year old when they have kids if they were ready and they would tell you no. Sounds like you are either single or could care less about having children. Last time I checked a "girl" was not 22 years old. You have a skewed opinion here
All crap aside calling a 22 year old a woman is an over-statement as well. I don't think it's a child bearing age really, all the young mothers I see don't look ready for kids, they still look like a child themselves.
Originally posted by: erub
I think this argument has been beaten back and forth enough, but as far as a second car option:
Flexcar
Its becoming popular in Atlanta - I'm seeing ads all over the place, and I take it once she has the kid the car won't be needing all that much usage. Hell if MY PARENTS didn't already own my car I would do it..oh yeah, and at any moment they can take it away from me, all the more incentive to be a "good" kid..oh if I got some girl pregnant, that could be one of the the things that I would expect to happen..
BTW, I'm 22, will be 23 in a couple of months..no way am I ready to have a kid..if I found the right girl, MAYBE in a couple of years I would be ready to get married, but I don't think I would want to be a dad until late 20s..you seriously have to be kinda nuts?
at this age:
Education+single life experience >> parenting
Originally posted by: griffis
Originally posted by: amicold
Originally posted by: griffis
Originally posted by: halik
welcome to the real world... and wht the hell did you knock up a 22 year old girl? Woot my ass, i very much doubt that you're ready to have kids.
Knock up?! We were already engaged. Graduating college two years ago and already making decent money hardly makes me unprepared. You can ask a thirty year old when they have kids if they were ready and they would tell you no. Sounds like you are either single or could care less about having children. Last time I checked a "girl" was not 22 years old. You have a skewed opinion here
All crap aside calling a 22 year old a woman is an over-statement as well. I don't think it's a child bearing age really, all the young mothers I see don't look ready for kids, they still look like a child themselves.
But yet if you read the actual posts I made you would see that she does have endemetriosis (sp?) Sometimes women with this never have kids. As i said before she and I were both told that this should have never happened
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
I find it annoying that some are saying that they are not ready to have a kid... most of the time, you never are but things do happen and there is nothing they can do about it now, so whats the point in telling them they will be unfit parents (or similar)? They cannot do anything about it at this point.
However, OP, it worries me that you say you are not worried at all about the birth or having a baby. There should always be some worry or nervousness with an undertaking that large.
I feel bad at the whole situation, but you need to be an adult about everything and it does not seem like you are at this point. Neither is she. You made choices that perhaps her father does not like, they are YOUR choices, but you need to learn to live with any issues that come with them... whether they be getting the car taken away or having him not being a part of your Fiancees/yours/new childs life.
Originally posted by: chambersc
any updates, OP?
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: griffis
Originally posted by: amicold
Originally posted by: griffis
Originally posted by: halik
welcome to the real world... and wht the hell did you knock up a 22 year old girl? Woot my ass, i very much doubt that you're ready to have kids.
Knock up?! We were already engaged. Graduating college two years ago and already making decent money hardly makes me unprepared. You can ask a thirty year old when they have kids if they were ready and they would tell you no. Sounds like you are either single or could care less about having children. Last time I checked a "girl" was not 22 years old. You have a skewed opinion here
All crap aside calling a 22 year old a woman is an over-statement as well. I don't think it's a child bearing age really, all the young mothers I see don't look ready for kids, they still look like a child themselves.
But yet if you read the actual posts I made you would see that she does have endemetriosis (sp?) Sometimes women with this never have kids. As i said before she and I were both told that this should have never happened
Having a baby is a blessing in disguise for both of you. Don't let any of these fvcktards tell you otherwise. There are some absolutely ridiculous comments here from people who just like to read what they've typed. You'll both be just fine without her father in your lives and the car situation was absolutely messed up. Her Dad could have given you both an advance notice instead of taking it away so quickly... sounds like he's the one who needs to grow up, regardless of who is the title owner.