FLORIDA: Naked Carny Poops & Masturbates Amidst Gunfire

[NFS4]

Full, EPIC story here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/...-florida_n_2533967.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

But the cliffs are:

Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.

Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Land.

Masturbated in the living room.

Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.

Defecated on the floor in two places.

Drank the contents of the vacuum.

 

[vi edit]

Bath salts are a hell of a drug.

 

[DrunkenSano]

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

 

[SunnyD]

I stopped reading at:

FLORIDA:

I knew the rest of the article would make perfect sense regardless after that.

 

[flyboy84]

 

[MetalMat]

That is one of the craziest news reports I have ever seen

 

[PottedMeat]

That is one of the BEST news reports I have ever seen

ftfm

Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on."

lol

 

[Krazy4Real]

lmao! That's seriously some crazy shit.

 

[rcpratt]

lmao! That's seriously some crazy shit.

His crazy shit is all over their house.

 

[OOBradm]

ahahhaahha

 

[Zargon]

Lulshit

 

[K1052]

Florida is the land where anything can and does happen...though none of it good.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Florida, always Florida

 

[manimal]

does not approve

 

[techs]

Bath salts are a hell of a drug.

My first thought also.

 

[bignateyk]

ftfm



lol

What, a man can't break into someone's house, masturbate, and defecate without being "on something"?? What kind of world are we living in where people make blanket assumptions like that.

 

[Slew Foot]

Lol. Florida.

 

[Jeeebus]

You people that don't live down here will just never understand. Yes... we occasionally go crazy, masturbate in other people's houses, shit on their floors, bite people's faces off on bridges, inject cement into our asses, are home to Alkemyst, shoot people for wearing hoodies, etc....

-But-

It is 75 degrees on January 24 and I haven't worn shoes on the weekend for a good 6 months now, so I'd say we're doing ok.

 

[videogames101]

lol wtf, i thought title was a joke and then no

 

[Thebobo]

Wonder what he was on.

 

[KlokWyze]

Wasn't the face eater from Florida as well?

lol

 

[ch33zw1z]

Why the fuck am I laughing....

 

[Skitzer]

Don't understand why many are dissing Florida. There are crazy people like this guy everywhere. I know, I've seen them.

 

[Glitchny]

Don't understand why many are dissing Florida. There are crazy people like this guy everywhere. I know, I've seen them.

It's because there seems to be a disproportionate amount of crazy that comes out of Florida. There is a reason why Fark.com has a category just for Florida.

 

[D1gger]

You people that don't live down here will just never understand. Yes... we occasionally go crazy, masturbate in other people's houses, shit on their floors, bite people's faces off on bridges, inject cement into our asses, are home to Alkemyst, shoot people for wearing hoodies, etc....

-But-

It is 75 degrees on January 24 and I haven't worn shoes on the weekend for a good 6 months now, so I'd say we're doing ok.

If I was going to be crazy naked guy pooping on the floor and jerking my chicken, I'd want to do in 75 degree temperatures too. It's a natural, the warm winter temperatures attract the crazy naked people.