Food allergies: People think they're funny, but they're not.

[SunnyD]

TLDR: This is a rant about horrible parenting.

I understand the special snowflake rule when it comes to parenting, and no my kids aren't special snowflakes. I try to teach my kids as best as possible how to take care of themselves because this world is a shithole and frankly all of you people are just plain assholes and my kids will need to deal with you one day. We do the best we can and we don't live in a bubble. But for god's sake people, teach your kids to not be assholes.

Both of my boys have nut allergies. The severity thankfully isn't terrible (that we know of), but like any food allergy that could change at the drop of a hat. Epi-pens are carried or available where needed, so there's that. But what matters is that people around them just don't care. In fact, it seems that once it's known that someone has an allergy to something they become a target.

My little guy came home this week and told us that one of his classmates said he wanted to bring in some peanuts specifically to "make him sick". He's in second grade so I'm certain this kid didn't fully grasp the situation, and my son being the kind soul he is didn't tell anybody because he doesn't ever want to get anyone in trouble. My wife was obviously furious, and after an email to the teacher which lead to an immediate conference and a meeting with the child and parents, things were cleared up. Once the child realized that such an action could potentially kill my son the kid nearly burst into tears and apologized thinking that it would only make him a bit itchy and stuff. After all, it's an "allergy". Classroom education for the entire 2nd grade on food allergies begins next week.

Let's move on to my 16 year old, who we find out this week hasn't been eating his lunches in the school cafeteria at all because other classmates would go out of their way to bring or buy PB&J or similar items and explicitly sit next to him despite him informing them of his nut allergy. Why the middle- and highschools sell those god awful "uncrustables" is another story in itself, but my son tells us that his classmates make a mess with them - on purpose, trying to get the peanut butter goo on him and whatnot. So my son ends up having to eat his lunch elsewhere these days. I'm not sure where he eats, but it's not with his friends or peers.

Food allergies in school. This is tantamount to bullying, and doing so with a potentially lethal weapon in hand. My kids cope with something that sucks for them, your kids make daily life shitty for them because of it. Teach your kids some respect for other people ffs.

 

[Kaido]

Yup. It especially needs to be addressed due to the rise of people who have allergies. School is stressful enough without worrying if someone's sandwich will kill your kid.

 

[Newell Steamer]

I had a classmate who was diagnosed with diabetes at 10, so the teachers spent 5 minutes telling us; he has diabetes, don't give him any of your food or offer any candy and if you notice he looks sick/passes out, get a teacher immediately.

The parent part is key as well. Telling your little shits not to be shits. But, who knows what the home situation is like. You can't always expect the parents to be actual parents. So, covering yourself via 1) getting the school involved and 2) having your kids be vigilant is best.

Ideally, yes, parent should parent. In reality, it is not always true unfortunately.

And, no need for special snowflake acknowledgment, this is life or death - accusations can get fucked.

 

[darkewaffle]

Reminds me of the episode of Freaks and Geeks where the bully puts peanuts in Bill's sammich.

Kids are stupid and most people suck though. Yeah.

 

[MomentsofSanity]

I'm kind of shocked by how willfully some parents will ignore the issue of food allergies.

I went out and bought Wow Butter for my kid for his lunches. Every time I made a sandwich with it I'd bag it and put a sticker on the bag that came with the Wow Butter showing peanut free to be responsible.

The school has since had to ban Wow Butter because parents were just sending regular peanut butter and telling their kids to say it was Wow Butter.

I don't get why people feel so entitled as to legitimately put someone's life at risk over a freaking sandwich.

 

[poofyhairguy]

Kids are stupid and most people suck though.

This. Honestly I think OP's 16 year old is handling it perfectly. Life isn't going to accommodate you, so do what you need to do to survive the stupid people.

This is just like people who want to get rid of the word retarded because people use it as a cutdown.

 

[purbeast0]

who the fuck thinks food allergies are funny? that's news to me.

 

[OutHouse]

Last week a 16 year old kid at a nearby high school died due to eating something with peanuts in it. it was his mistake and nothing malicious like the OP is describing. its still pretty fucking sad.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_28864937/chatfield-high-student-dies-after-eating-smore-containing

 

[vi edit]

Sunny - have you guys looked into desensitizing therapy for your kids? It's proving to be very effective in clinical trials.

 

[Humpy]

OK.

You want everyone to accommodate your delicate little snowflakes.

This is new and exciting.

 

[SunnyD]

Sunny - have you guys looked into desensitizing therapy for your kids? It's proving to be very effective in clinical trials.

I'm constantly trying to desensitize my kids to the fact that nearly everybody they'll encounter in life is an asshole. It's obviously effective...

(Tongue-in-cheek remark. We've met some truly awesome people along the way too.)

 

[OutHouse]

Interesting how the pendulum has changed on here. several nut allergy threads have been made over the years, i was shocked at the number of callous and uncaring posting many members made about the subject.

 

[OutHouse]

Sunny - have you guys looked into desensitizing therapy for your kids? It's proving to be very effective in clinical trials.

you mean allergy shots?

 

[SunnyD]

you mean allergy shots?

No, he means actual exposure to the allergen in slowly increasing amounts over time in a controlled clinical setting. Must find a gif...

 

[vi edit]

Interesting how the pendulum has changed on here. several nut allergy threads have been made over the years, i was shocked at the number of callous and uncaring posting many members made about the subject.

Peanut allergies are very interesting. The more we ban them in settings, the more kids we find allergic to them year after year.

That's why I asked about desensitizing therapy. You basically build up a resistance to it to the point where even eating a spoonful of peanut butter has little effect. No need to reach for an epi-pen at the hint of peanut dust in the air.

Start working on building resistance back up and introduce back into the environment and watch overall allergies go back down.

 

[SunnyD]

OK.

You want everyone to accommodate your delicate little snowflakes.

This is new and exciting.

Nah. If you read anything you'd have realized this has absolutely nothing to do with accommodation and everything to do with people simply not being or perpetuating being fucking asshats 24x7.

 

[OutHouse]

Peanut allergies are very interesting. The more we ban them in settings, the more kids we find allergic to them year after year.

I dont believe that at all.

 

[vi edit]

It may not be the banning, but lack of exposure early in kids lives is definitely contributing to the rise. It's rate has tripled in the last 20 years.

 

[OutHouse]

It may not be the banning, but lack of exposure early in kids lives is definitely contributing to the rise. It's rate has tripled in the last 20 years.

not true at all. I ate the shit out of melons until 7 years ago when developed a seriously annoying allergy towards melons i cant eat them anymore which pisses me off. I love cantalopes but not the reaction i get.

not being exposed to some food ever does not mean you will be alergic to it the first time you eat it.

https://www.foodallergy.org/facts-and-stats

Can You Outgrow a Food Allergy?
Peanut and tree nut allergies, which also tend to develop in childhood, usually are lifelong. In the U.S., approximately three million people report allergies to peanuts and tree nuts. Studies show the number of children living with peanut allergy appears to have tripled between 1997 and 2008.
Cow’s milk, egg and soy allergies typically begin in childhood and eventually may be outgrown. In the past, most children outgrew these allergies by school age. A recent study, conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, indicated that children are taking longer to outgrow milk and egg allergies. Fortunately, the majority are allergy-free by age 16.
Fish and shellfish allergies also tend to be lifelong. More than 6.5 million adults are allergic to finned fish and shellfish.
Read more on our blog about two recent studies on outgrowing food allergies >
Is There a Cure?
There is no cure for food allergies. Strict avoidance of food allergens and early recognition and management of allergic reactions to food are important measures to prevent serious health consequences.

 

[CraKaJaX]

I try to teach my kids as best as possible how to take care of themselves because this world is a shithole and frankly all of you people are just plain assholes and my kids will need to deal with you one day. We do the best we can and we don't live in a bubble.

This is my reasoning for not having any kids. Ever. It doesn't look it's going to get better any time soon either.

 

[Jumpem]

A separate table in the cafeteria for those with allergies solves the problem.

 

[SearchMaster]

Give your kids a squirt bottle with some acid in it. When someone exposes them to peanuts, let them be "exposed" to some acid. An eye for an eye, I always say.

Sorry to hear this OP. While I hate the whole "let's ban anything that someone might possibly be allergic to" movement, it's downright stupid for those moron children to intentionally try to injure your kids.

 

[lxskllr]

not true at all. I ate the shit out of melons until 7 years ago when developed a seriously annoying allergy towards melons i cant eat them anymore which pisses me off. I love cantalopes but not the reaction i get.

We demonstrate that Jewish children in the UK have a prevalence of PA that is 10-fold higher than that of Jewish children in Israel. This difference is not accounted for by differences in atopy, social class, genetic background, or peanut allergenicity. Israeli infants consume peanut in high quantities in the first year of life, whereas UK infants avoid peanuts. These findings raise the question of whether early introduction of peanut during infancy, rather than avoidance, will prevent the development of PA.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19000582/

 

[Matthiasa]

Last week a 16 year old kid at a nearby high school died due to eating something with peanuts in it. it was his mistake and nothing malicious like the OP is describing. its still pretty fucking sad.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_28864937/chatfield-high-student-dies-after-eating-smore-containing

I'm not sure the the last time, if ever, I had a S'more with peanuts in it... although chocolate tends to be processed in facilities with nuts so should be avoid anyways.

A separate table in the cafeteria for those with allergies solves the problem.

So does those around them not intentionally trying to kill them... but attempted murder is okay to you?

 

[glenn1]

Nah. If you read anything you'd have realized this has absolutely nothing to do with accommodation and everything to do with people simply not being or perpetuating being fucking asshats 24x7.

Guess what, in the world outside the super-controlled environment of a school no one is going to do anything to accommodate someone else's medical issues. It's not being an asshat, it's called everyone can't watch out for every single problem every other person might have else all life would grind to a halt. Oh, that person has peanut allergies so I should get on a different subway car since I brought PBJ for my lunch. Oh, that other person is extremely sensitive to fragrances so I gotta get on yet another subway car because I wore deodorant today. Oh, this person gets migraines so the subway car fluorescent lighting needs to be turned off for the next 8 stops and make the rest of us ride in the dark. And so on.

At some point it becomes the responsibility of the person with the problem to look out for themselves as otherwise we'd require the same oppressive oversight that schoolchildren have. We're not going to set up separate "no peanuts" airplanes for you to ride. We're not going to tell coworkers what they can eat, wear, or do beyond the trivial. Life is dangerous, and teaching kids they can have the expectation that people will be mindful of their particular needs isn't the right thing to do.