For those of you in management positions...

[Kev]

these stories are great. unfortunately i don't have any good ones.

 

[wexsmith]

I'm gonna bend the thread rules a little and give three different stories. This is when I worked as a manager of a toy store, way back when.

Customer:
I had two customers on seperate occasions walk into the store, pick something up from a shelf, walk over to the cash register and try to return it. We'd be watching them the whole time and they'd act completely innocent. Of course I mentioned that we have video cameras on them, which we didn't, and they'd get mad or scared and leave.

Employee:
Every morning we had to count the video games to make sure none were missing from the day before. After a week or two the count gradually started to slip away from the number we should have. Finally the employee was caught with several games in a box he was taking out to the dumpster. Apparently he'd park over near the dumpster and run the video games out to his car every chance he got.

Manager (me):
Before I tell this know that I was never caught, thankfully. Our X-Mas shipments had created a big pile of teddy bears in our storage. They just don't sell too fast and HQ wants to make sure everyone has plenty for the season. So my girlfriend came to the store to visit me. I told the employees to watch the store for a few so I could take a break. My girlfriend and I went to storeroom and got it on in the pile of teddy bears. If someone had caught us my life probably would have been different right now.

 

[liluqt]

pr0n.

whacking off.

making out on executive couch.

coming to the office late at night stoned and falling asleep on the tables until the next work morning.

 

[Stuxnet]

The worst thing I've actually witnessed was when I was in desktop support. A guy who had put in his two weeks stole a Dell laptop (yeah, A.T., I'm talking about you) and pretended to act all concerned when our manager noticed the inventory loss.

My wife works at a legal firm (that her father partially owns) that also holds a title company. There's an employee in the title dept that routinely makes excuses for leaving the office to do title closings at the title firm her daughter owns. There's so many things wrong with that I can't even begin to count them. But for lawyers, these guys are total PUSSIES. I mean P. U. S. S. I. E. S. It's unbelievable. I've never seen such a collection of spineless jellyfish in my life. Whenever my wife comes home bitching about everything that goes on there, I tell her to keep it to herself (she doesn't have the guts to report half the stuff she sees, and the partners don't have the guts to deal with the half they know about). When the firm gets buried, I'll have a big fat "I told ya so!" ready for my FIL.

 

[darkxshade]

I once caught an employee actually doing his work.


True story. :Q

 

[rh71]

Not a manager but I know of an (ex-)coworker who got fired after using company servers to run a click-thru porn site. He had ballz to do that.

Another thing was a supervisor was clocking out his employees for them... hours after they had left. Fired. Too bad he was a nice guy. Too nice.

 

[liluqt]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I once caught an employee actually doing his work.


True story. :Q

SHENS!

 

[Mr N8]

Originally posted by: darkxshade
I once caught an employee actually doing his work.


True story. :Q

Not possible. It's never been done.

 

[scorpmatt]

Originally posted by: liluqt
pr0n.

whacking off.

making out on executive couch.

coming to the office late at night stoned and falling asleep on the tables until the next work morning.

you did that all in one day and still work? wow

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: rh71
Another thing was a supervisor was clocking out his employees for them... hours after they had left. Fired. Too bad he was a nice guy. Too nice.

Wow... what a doormat.

 

[iamwiz82]

A guy in another department brought his laptop in because of an issue and I noticed he had an excessive amount of porn all over the hard drive. The most interesting thing was that it was all hermaphrodidic. This guy was ultra macho, too, never would have thought he was into that :shocked:

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: rh71
Another thing was a supervisor was clocking out his employees for them... hours after they had left. Fired. Too bad he was a nice guy. Too nice.

Wow... what a doormat.

Don't know the whole story. All I know is that he was a nice guy the few times I talked to him and he got fired for swiping for people. He could've been a thief too for all I know.

 

[Feldenak]

I caught the Network Admin and Sysadmin ripping and hosting Netflix movies on servers at work at my old job. Not to mention the pirated software and cracking programs the machines were running.

 

[Vegito]

One guy downloaded about 110 gb of mp3 & videos.. setup a betting server..

no longer works here.. he's doing crap at UBS... suckers....

 

[yukichigai]

I've never caught anyone doing anything, but there was an "incident" at my summer job once. Lemme 'splain....

My summer job was an awesome job; work wasn't too hard and wasn't too easy, and the pay was great. We also had internet access that was unmonitored, until one abrupt Monday when a very thorough content filtering system greeted everyone as they logged in for the day. There hadn't been any discussion of adding any such system before, no memos; nobody knew where it came from. Eventually it came out that someone working in a department got caught looking at something they shouldn't have.

Flash back to a few months before. A gentleman working for a similar (but different) agency was caught looking at pornography during work hours. It gets worse: this guy was working at the front desk and his monitor was in full view of about half the people who came in. It still gets worse: this guy wasn't just looking at any run-of-the-mill porn, he was looking at hardcore gay porn. Now it gets unbelievably worse: he wasn't looking at just any hardcore gay porn, but hardcore gay child porn. When this rocket scientist was caught he tried to weasel out of it with the winner line, "I'll try to be more discreet in the future." Yeah, so very fired.

Flash forward to the friday before the content filtering system went up. Guess who had started working at our agency recently. Guess who was looking at porn during work hours. Guess what kind of porn it was. And for a bonus, guess what same genius line he delivered when he got caught. I mean there are stupid people, and then there are stupid people.

So in short, a pedophile ruined the internet at work. I'd call that pretty bad.

 

[Accipiter22]

My mom once saw a mentally slow person I went to school with (he drove his car to 8th grade) in Walmart. He went ot the shoe section, took a pair of shoes, held them up in front of him, and paraded down the main aisle of the store trying to walk out the In door.

 

[xospec1alk]

Originally posted by: Vegito
One guy downloaded about 110 gb of mp3 & videos.. setup a betting server..

no longer works here.. he's doing crap at UBS... suckers....

which office? whats his name?

 

[waggy]

i was working as a supervisor of computer operations. we had one guy that worked over night alone.

on the night shift its really slow. all he would do is print out reports and set them on the desk for people to get. We had a machine that shook the papers even. Well i got a call from the security company saying i might want to start checking in on the night guy time. They said he was doing something odd to the machine.

So one night i went in to work and heard the machine buzzing and walked in. He had his pants down around his ankles with his dick in the machine wrapped in a rag! ha had been having the machine get him off.

Poor kid got so embarrassed when we had a meeting with my manager over it (a 35yr old women_) heh. we didn't fire him for that but about 2 months later we caught him having phone sex and chatting on a pedophilia IRC channel (had logs of it).

 

[boredhokie]

Originally posted by: waggy
i was working as a supervisor of computer operations. we had one guy that worked over night alone.

on the night shift its really slow. all he would do is print out reports and set them on the desk for people to get. We had a machine that shook the papers even. Well i got a call from the security company saying i might want to start checking in on the night guy time. They said he was doing something odd to the machine.

So one night i went in to work and heard the machine buzzing and walked in. He had his pants down around his ankles with his dick in the machine wrapped in a rag! ha had been having the machine get him off.

Poor kid got so embarrassed when we had a meeting with my manager over it (a 35yr old women_) heh. we didn't fire him for that but about 2 months later we caught him having phone sex and chatting on a pedophilia IRC channel (had logs of it).

Do you have a model number for this vibrating machine?

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: boredhokie

Originally posted by: waggy
i was working as a supervisor of computer operations. we had one guy that worked over night alone.

on the night shift its really slow. all he would do is print out reports and set them on the desk for people to get. We had a machine that shook the papers even. Well i got a call from the security company saying i might want to start checking in on the night guy time. They said he was doing something odd to the machine.

So one night i went in to work and heard the machine buzzing and walked in. He had his pants down around his ankles with his dick in the machine wrapped in a rag! ha had been having the machine get him off.

Poor kid got so embarrassed when we had a meeting with my manager over it (a 35yr old women_) heh. we didn't fire him for that but about 2 months later we caught him having phone sex and chatting on a pedophilia IRC channel (had logs of it).

Do you have a model number for this vibrating machine?

haha no idea what number it was. it had a V shape where you put the papers in and it vibrited at a high rate of speed.

 

[oddyager]

Originally posted by: waggy
i was working as a supervisor of computer operations. we had one guy that worked over night alone.

on the night shift its really slow. all he would do is print out reports and set them on the desk for people to get. We had a machine that shook the papers even. Well i got a call from the security company saying i might want to start checking in on the night guy time. They said he was doing something odd to the machine.

So one night i went in to work and heard the machine buzzing and walked in. He had his pants down around his ankles with his dick in the machine wrapped in a rag! ha had been having the machine get him off.

Poor kid got so embarrassed when we had a meeting with my manager over it (a 35yr old women_) heh. we didn't fire him for that but about 2 months later we caught him having phone sex and chatting on a pedophilia IRC channel (had logs of it).

And now I've heard everything.

 

[redgtxdi]

Originally posted by: Sphexi


FPMITAP.

??

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: yukichigai
I've never caught anyone doing anything, but there was an "incident" at my summer job once. Lemme 'splain....

My summer job was an awesome job; work wasn't too hard and wasn't too easy, and the pay was great. We also had internet access that was unmonitored, until one abrupt Monday when a very thorough content filtering system greeted everyone as they logged in for the day. There hadn't been any discussion of adding any such system before, no memos; nobody knew where it came from. Eventually it came out that someone working in a department got caught looking at something they shouldn't have.

Flash back to a few months before. A gentleman working for a similar (but different) agency was caught looking at pornography during work hours. It gets worse: this guy was working at the front desk and his monitor was in full view of about half the people who came in. It still gets worse: this guy wasn't just looking at any run-of-the-mill porn, he was looking at hardcore gay porn. Now it gets unbelievably worse: he wasn't looking at just any hardcore gay porn, but hardcore gay child porn. When this rocket scientist was caught he tried to weasel out of it with the winner line, "I'll try to be more discreet in the future." Yeah, so very fired.

Flash forward to the friday before the content filtering system went up. Guess who had started working at our agency recently. Guess who was looking at porn during work hours. Guess what kind of porn it was. And for a bonus, guess what same genius line he delivered when he got caught. I mean there are stupid people, and then there are stupid people.

So in short, a pedophile ruined the internet at work. I'd call that pretty bad.

This reminded me of something that happened at my last job... I can't believe I forgot about it!!!

We had a couple rounds of layoffs back in early 2001. We laid off a programmer and when the desktop guys when to clean his PC, they found that he had gobs of kiddie pr0n. Long story short, he was turned in to the authorities. It was quite a production.

 

[markgm]

Originally posted by: redgtxdi

Originally posted by: Sphexi


FPMITAP.

??

Federal pound me in the ass prison. It's from Office Space.

 

[kranky]

The worst I personally was involved in was having to fire a guy for sleeping repeatedly, and firing another guy for setting records that will never be broken for being slow. One assignment required putting DB-9 connectors on some four-wire cables. He took a week to do 30 of them. It took months to fire him because he kept claiming I was out to get him because he was a minority.

Two incidents I wasn't directly involved in...

A secretary grabbed another employee's CC number from an expense report and used it to buy jewelry and pay for a family vacation in Florida. I don't think she had enough understanding of how CCs work to even anticipate that the bill for the deposit for the hotel room would arrive even before she got to FL, nor that it would be trivially easy to link the CC transaction to her. Cops arrested her right in the lobby of the hotel in front of her husband and kids. She was thoughtful enough to be wearing the jewelry to make it a lot easier to wrap up the investigation.

At another job, I saw the president confront the VP of sales when he came back from lunch staggering drunk (again). The president told him to clean out his desk, the VP insisted he wasn't drunk, and the president sucker-punched him right in the face. He slumped to the floor out cold.