you're really doing more to prove the stereotype than you are to further your case.
Well if you "really" want a real reply here we go (I should be doing accounting HW but whatever)
I spent 3 years out of HS at a community college. Didn't join any clubs, didn't do SHT. All I did was work, go to school, play (WC3, CS, whatever). There was definately something missing in my life. I didn't quite know what it was, but there was definately something lacking. So when I transferred to a real school, I promised myself things would be different.
I had the idea that I would join a fraternity, but it wasn't a real serious thought. Then rush came around, and I went out for free food (you can only eat so much ramen...). A little background here, I'm definately not the most social person. I also dislike drinking (most of the time). So, I rushed 2 fraternities, with COMPLETELY different focus'. The first fraternity was more of a "typical" fraternity (these are asian fraternities so the numbers are smaller than the white fraternities). The first fraternity had about 30-40 actives, with 10-20 person pledge classes. They were very sociable, but somehow things didn't really click for me. Then I went to the other fraternity, and I was completely blown away. A very small fraternity, 20 or so actives, 5-10 person pledge classes. They completely fit with my personality type, and I knew I had to have it.
So, off to pledging I went. 4 months of bullsht I put up with.
4 freaking months. But hey, I wanted it so bad by that time, I would do anything to have my letters.
Let's not go into the details here, but a GOOD pledge program is supposed to teach you lessons about life, and about what brotherhood "really" is.
Lesson on Life
One of the most important parts of pledging, and one that we stress the most to our pledges, is that learning how to effectively manage your time is CRUCIAL to success, in pledging and later in life. The program is definately manage, but it's up to the pledge to not fvck around and work out his schedule.
Another very important part is the confidence that I gained from pledging. When I went in, I definately had preconceived notions of what I was capable of. But oh my god, after pledigng, I felt like I could tackle ANYTHING. That definately helped me alot when it came to public speaking and interviews and such.
Lessons on Brotherhood
Here's where alot of your misconceptions come into play. Our personal philosophy (which may not apply to other organizations) is that brotherhood is achieved not only from the fun social stuff (exchanges etc), but also through suffering. Our program is designed so that it's actives vs pledges, and all they have to count on is each other. It's definately a humbling experience for some of the more cocky fools out there- being forced to help and rely on your pledge bros to help you out and sht.
And finally, I have ALOT of memories from pledging (both good and bad). But hey, some of the sht that we do/did, we just look back at it and laugh. Nowhere else can you experience the kind of sht that we did.
What I told rushees this year was this - when it all comes down to it, none of the sht really matters. The girls, the alcohol, the parties, whatever. What really matters is the relationships that you develop/the people that you meet. I personally feel that I would not be able to find the kind of fulfilling relationships that I've had without this fraternity.
Fraternities are definately not for everybody. I can fully admit that after dealing with some pledge bro's that I just couldn't handle. But you know, I've never been more happy in my life, and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.