AOL pen...
When you use it, it intermittently spills ink and ruins the paper, forcing you to start with a fresh sheet, only to find that all the sheets have been stained and you now need to get rid of all of it, even the ones you used before acquiring the pen, and start with a fresh binder/ream; fails to locate the paper, forcing you to click the pen several times, disassemble the pen, put the pen back together, then leave the pen alone for a minimum of one hour before trying to write with it again; requires you to write your name repeatedly, then fails to function because it believes you may not be you; and, finally, when you're holding it, but not writing with it, it automatically writes out advertisements on your paper, in the hopes of finding some way to compensate you for accepting AOL's wondrous gift.