Friend punched out a girl

[OneOfTheseDays]

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
A friend of mine was recently in a fight with his (now ex) girlfriend. Basically what happened is that an argument about money escalated, and she grabbed a metal spoon and hit him in the face, right above the eye. It opened up a gash and started bleeding. She then took a swing at him and missed. She definitely took it from yelling to physical violence.

My friend punched back and hit her in the nose, breaking it. She instantly collapsed on the floor and started screaming and crying and saying that he was "in big trouble now, you can't hit a girl!" She's since told the exact same story to a different mutual friend, so none of the facts are in dispute here.

The cops got called and currently are investigating. The crazy ex is absolutely sure my friend is going to get charges pressed against him,because it's simply not acceptable to hit a girl under any circumstances, ever. My friend is equally convinced he was in the right to defend himself. Currently there's a pretty raging debate going on between a lot of mutual acquaintances, with pretty much all the men agreeing with him and all the women agreeing with her (about it never being okay to hit a girl, not her behavior in the first place)

Personally, I totally agree with him. She'd already put a gash in his face bad enough to need stiches, and clearly wasn't done yet. He was absolutely right to punch her out, she was a danger regardless of whether she had boobs or not. This idiotic assumption that girls are delicate little flowers that are incapable of withstanding or dishing out physical violence is completely out of touch with how the real world works.

What do ya'll think? Was he justified in hitting her, or is it definitely not cool to hit back under any circumstances? It'd be nice if some girls chimed in too, I'm curious.

i bolded the part where you are wrong. self defense is allowed. in other words if she comes after him he has a right to defend himself. whether or not he needed to pummel her in the face hard enough to break her nose is the question. couldn't he have just pushed her away, and fled the scene?

Bingo!

Self defense is not as black and white as most people think. And is definately not a carte blanche to do anything you want to someone who is threating you.

1. You have to prove that there was a significant enough threat that you had reason to beleive the person was going to do you serious bodily harm. Someone throwing a spoon at you just doesn't do it IMO

2. Your only allowed to respond with enough force to nuetralize the threat, nothing more.


To listen to some of you guys in here, if someone chunked a rock at you your justified in pulling out your glock and capping them in the head a few times

i had a friend that came up on his girlfriend being raped by a gang member. he pulled the guy off her, and the guy pulled a gun and told him to leave. he pulled his and shot him after the other guy fired. self defense. he was put away for 10 years because he fired all 5 remaining barrels into the guy after he went down. i asked him why he did that, he said he was still twitching.

self defense is only self defense if you do what is necessary to stop the threat to you, not go farther than necessary.

Oh wow that is harsh. 10 years for killing the guy who was raping his gf?

 

[TheNinja]

Originally posted by: hanoverphist


i had a friend that came up on his girlfriend being raped by a gang member. he pulled the guy off her, and the guy pulled a gun and told him to leave. he pulled his and shot him after the other guy fired. self defense. he was put away for 10 years because he fired all 5 remaining barrels into the guy after he went down. i asked him why he did that, he said he was still twitching.

self defense is only self defense if you do what is necessary to stop the threat to you, not go farther than necessary.

Off Topic - but the jury who convicted your friend should be put away for 10 years. What he did was perfectly justified in my mind. If someone pulls a gun on you, it's kill or be killed.

 

[Drunkentig3r]

Asked my sister (California lawyer). Even though I just told her the story in the most basic of details, she said that what the girl did was basically assault, even battery perhaps. From the looks of it, he was right in defending himself unless there are some circumstances to the situation which haven't been explained. If he sticks with his story and keeps it consistent throughout, he should be fine. Just watch out though-there are probably some police officers who are biased based on the whole "no hitting a girl" mentality.

My sister's advice? Get a competent lawyer, fast. In case no charges are pressed and the crazy psycho b*tch decides to go to court and sue (probably for some BS claims like physical and emotional abuse, medical charges, etc), he's going to need all the legal leverage he can get. The sooner he gets himself a lawyer and lays it out for him/her, the more time the lawyer has to prepare for the legal backlash.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

Legally, he was justified

Morally, he is a piece o crap

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: Drunkentig3r
Asked my sister (California lawyer). Even though I just told her the story in the most basic of details, she said that what the girl did was basically assault, even battery perhaps. From the looks of it, he was right in defending himself unless there are some circumstances to the situation which haven't been explained. If he sticks with his story and keeps it consistent throughout, he should be fine. Just watch out though-there are probably some police officers who are biased based on the whole "no hitting a girl" mentality.

My sister's advice? Get a competent lawyer, fast. In case no charges are pressed and the crazy psycho b*tch decides to go to court and sue (probably for some BS claims like physical and emotional abuse, medical charges, etc), he's going to need all the legal leverage he can get. The sooner he gets himself a lawyer and lays it out for him/her, the more time the lawyer has to prepare for the legal backlash.

Good advice DrunkTiger.

 

[Drunkentig3r]

Originally posted by: Safeway

Originally posted by: Drunkentig3r
Asked my sister (California lawyer). Even though I just told her the story in the most basic of details, she said that what the girl did was basically assault, even battery perhaps. From the looks of it, he was right in defending himself unless there are some circumstances to the situation which haven't been explained. If he sticks with his story and keeps it consistent throughout, he should be fine. Just watch out though-there are probably some police officers who are biased based on the whole "no hitting a girl" mentality.

My sister's advice? Get a competent lawyer, fast. In case no charges are pressed and the crazy psycho b*tch decides to go to court and sue (probably for some BS claims like physical and emotional abuse, medical charges, etc), he's going to need all the legal leverage he can get. The sooner he gets himself a lawyer and lays it out for him/her, the more time the lawyer has to prepare for the legal backlash.

Good advice DrunkTiger.

By "circumstances" I'm guessing it means things like if they live together or not (looking at it now, seeing as how the argument was about money, yeah I'm guessing they live together) or if he was the one who started the whole thing (as in bringing up the topic). I'm not the lawyer though, and my Sister didn't really go into too much details seeing as how he isn't her client. Good luck to him though.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb
The law doesn't care who you hit, only if you hit back in self-defense.

Well put

 

[t3h l337 n3wb]

She sure is a bitch.

 

[mrchan]

Self defense isn't always a defense. If he is a lot bigger than her, a court could decide that him punching her in the face was deadly force, which is (almost) never justified.

But in all likelihood, neither will face any criminal penalties.

 

[Britboy]

She deserved it for an outrageous act of violence against him. I bet she'll think twice next time

 

[zinfamous]

if the situation happened how described, then I'd say he was in the right. Hell, you see hos get carted off on Cops all the time for the very same reason.

 

[Francodman]

I would never punch a woman, mainly because I'd shatter her orbital bone/nose...but if she was dumb enough to physically attack me, then I would disarm her and make sure she'd never even think about touching me again.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
A friend of mine was recently in a fight with his (now ex) girlfriend. Basically what happened is that an argument about money escalated, and she grabbed a metal spoon and hit him in the face, right above the eye. It opened up a gash and started bleeding. She then took a swing at him and missed. She definitely took it from yelling to physical violence.

My friend punched back and hit her in the nose, breaking it. She instantly collapsed on the floor and started screaming and crying and saying that he was "in big trouble now, you can't hit a girl!" She's since told the exact same story to a different mutual friend, so none of the facts are in dispute here.

The cops got called and currently are investigating. The crazy ex is absolutely sure my friend is going to get charges pressed against him,because it's simply not acceptable to hit a girl under any circumstances, ever. My friend is equally convinced he was in the right to defend himself. Currently there's a pretty raging debate going on between a lot of mutual acquaintances, with pretty much all the men agreeing with him and all the women agreeing with her (about it never being okay to hit a girl, not her behavior in the first place)

Personally, I totally agree with him. She'd already put a gash in his face bad enough to need stiches, and clearly wasn't done yet. He was absolutely right to punch her out, she was a danger regardless of whether she had boobs or not. This idiotic assumption that girls are delicate little flowers that are incapable of withstanding or dishing out physical violence is completely out of touch with how the real world works.

What do ya'll think? Was he justified in hitting her, or is it definitely not cool to hit back under any circumstances? It'd be nice if some girls chimed in too, I'm curious.

i bolded the part where you are wrong. self defense is allowed. in other words if she comes after him he has a right to defend himself. whether or not he needed to pummel her in the face hard enough to break her nose is the question. couldn't he have just pushed her away, and fled the scene?

Bingo!

Self defense is not as black and white as most people think. And is definately not a carte blanche to do anything you want to someone who is threating you.

1. You have to prove that there was a significant enough threat that you had reason to beleive the person was going to do you serious bodily harm. Someone throwing a spoon at you just doesn't do it IMO

2. Your only allowed to respond with enough force to nuetralize the threat, nothing more.


To listen to some of you guys in here, if someone chunked a rock at you your justified in pulling out your glock and capping them in the head a few times

i had a friend that came up on his girlfriend being raped by a gang member. he pulled the guy off her, and the guy pulled a gun and told him to leave. he pulled his and shot him after the other guy fired. self defense. he was put away for 10 years because he fired all 5 remaining barrels into the guy after he went down. i asked him why he did that, he said he was still twitching.

self defense is only self defense if you do what is necessary to stop the threat to you, not go farther than necessary.

so...it appears he was not justified in killing because of rape to someone he loved? (Although, it seems you're saying it was the extra shots that did it...)

This makes an interesting point in the other thread about the c*nt wife in Texas, her lover, and her husband....

 

[Molondo]

Cops get to beat down anyone who even throws one punch at them. Id say it was a fair trade.

 

[loic2003]

I'm a supporter of equal rights for all.

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: Sniper82
Woman are so funny. Mine thinks she can kick anyones a$$ including mine. I always tell her if she ever does kick it, its because I let her. If she ever really hit me IDK what I would do. But I think if a woman hits a man that doesn't REALLY deserve it(like cheats on her) should get hit back. But not pounded on over and over. Just enough to teach her a lesson.

I very much disagree on this point and this also leads me to believe most guys in this forum are 130lbs and under... that is really the only case where I can see men actually hitting women back.

I personally can't think of a circumstance where I'd feel threatened because a woman assaults me and this is why I'd never consider actually punching back or something. I guess if you're a weak/pussy your only option is to knuckle up, but I'd imagine most men wouldn't have problem overpowering women without explicit violence.

 

[spacejamz]

Originally posted by: halik
I very much disagree on this point and this also leads me to believe most guys in this forum are 130lbs and under... that is really the only case where I can see men actually hitting women back.

according to the last few polls here, all the guys here are 6' 1" weight 180 and made $100k/year by the time they were 20....

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: Brainonska511
With all the people saying it was just a spoon - we never knew what size spoon this was. It could have been a small teaspoon, it could have been a big metal serving spoon. Plus, as far as self defense goes, who's to say that after throwing the spoon, the next thing she would do was pick up a knife?

Theres the what if, woulda, coulda argument again

Maybe her next move would have been to get a bazooka, so he should have stabbed her with a bayonet:thumbsup:


She was definately in the wrong and should be charged with assault for throwing the spoon at him but once he retaliated and broke her nose, his wrong trumped her wrong and he loses.

After re-reading the OP, I see nothing that indicates she threw anything. I read it to say she hit him with the spoon still in her hand.
That's using a weapon, and deserving of a punch to cause a cessation of the battery, imo.
Can you show me where there's a mention of the spoon being thrown? By the OP, I mean.

 

[g0dMAn]

i've been attacked by a girl. i did nothing but shield myself. ended up having a POOL BALL THROWN TO MY FACE finally after punches wouldn't do any harm (very wimpy may i add - just a couple scratches)!!! I ducked and blocked with my arm... ended up severly injuring my elbow... had it wrapped up for about a week... guys at pool hall threw her out, and everyone congratulated me for taking the beating and not hitting her back.

i felt stupid right after the whole attack, but when ppl came up to me to congratulate me, i felt good... i was 18 yrs old at the time (about 7-8 yrs ago).

in all honesty, i would DEFINITELY hit a girl back if she was hurting me too badly, but would never dare initiate it and wouldn't hit back unless i seriously had to.

you can't always say "never hit a girl" b/c self-defense could be needed in special cases.

 

[StinkyMojo]

I read the first page. I laughed. 'Tis all.

 

[alyssa]

Originally posted by: thetxstang
There's a mantra I've heard on a number of occasions that's particularly befitting of this thread:

"Don't hit a man unless you're prepared to fight like a man."

'Nuff said.

He should have kicked her in the chest and screamed, "This is SPARTA!"

Makes me wonder if she was on her period. Crazy ho.

 

[Number1]

Hey OP, did you find out if the police laid charges?

Your body should know by now.

 

[Icepick]

Originally posted by: Number1
Hey OP, did you find out if the police laid charges?

Your body should know by now.

No. And his friend won't be getting laid for a long time, unfortunately.

 

[kumanchu]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: RyanSengara


The argument will simply be made that with a blow put to the right area, it is quite easy to break someones nose or something akin to that.

And the judge would dismiss that argument instantly. By the time he made the decision to punch her in the face, the blow from the spoon had already been struck. And it didn't put his eye out, or peirce his brain, or break his nose, etc.... I'm guess it put a small cut on his forehead, and by that time the spoon was most likely laying on the ground. Could have, might have arguments carry zero weigh in court.

depending on the state and court, they also view things that can happen in the "heat of the moment" to be valid forms of self defense.

reacting with a punch from being hit close to the eye, while a person is still trying to beat you ("She then took a swing at him and missed"), sounds pretty reasonable to m. It would likely sound reasonable to a judge. arguments that conveniently ignore facts also carry zero weight in court.

Your timeline is also flawed because youover looked the "took a swing then missed." Courts examine cases in the totality of the circumstances. Just because the spoon was on the ground doesn't make the incident over.

no i don't think people should hit eachother. i think hitting women is wrong. i think hitting men is wrong. the friend was stupid to hit back, but i don't think he is legally in the wrong.

in addition, a magistrate would have to bring this to criminal court. if the story as told by the OP is correct and is what is taken to the magistrate; the magistrate wouldn't give her the time of day. Most likely, only your friend would have the opportunity to press criminal charges.

civil charges, on the other hand, are a little different. Civil liability greatly depends on the state you are in.

*edit*
in anycase he needs to get a lawyer.

 

[Pwnbroker]

I've always heard, if she's man enough to throw a punch, she's man enough to fight. And, to clear up any confusion, it's not okay to hit a lady, but if she's taking punches, she's no lady. Also, I have met a lot of girls who wouldn't hesitate to slice you up, and I wouldn't give any of them a chance to hit me twice, I'd cold-cock them in a heartbeat.