I've had a close friend for over 15 years now. He had the misfortune of being born when his mother was over 40 years old and led a very sheltered life. In 10th grade I had to explain to him what a blow job was. Other kids made fun of him and, I'm ashamed to admit, I even went through my stints of putting him down to curry favor with kids I thought were more popular or cool.
However, as I matured I realized that despite his social awkwardness and sometimes odd personality that he was a truly stand up guy who would always be there for me if I needed him. When I got married nearly 5 years ago I was honored to have him as my best man.
As the years go by, I've come to realize more and more that he has absolutely zero ambition in life and is content to drift along and doing nothing but playing computer games, RPGs with other losers, and whacking off.
After we graduated from high school, he decided to go to the same local college as I did. He rarely left his dorm room and dropped out after a year. He then began working in a food freezer moving freight. After 3 years there he got a job doing online customer support. A year or so after that he got a job in the data center at the same company as a Computer Operator. Essentially he sits there over night, changes tapes, and calls someone if something breaks. While doing this job he did go back to school and got a 2 year degree in "Computer Technology" but the degree is nearly useless now since he never uses those skills at his job.
His parents offered him an interest free loan to pursue a Bachelor's degree. His GF (the first he'd ever had, mind you, and who lives 100 miles away) said he could move in with her and she would work a FT and PT job to support him while he went to school in the same town she lives in. She was a few years older than him (he's 30 next month and she was 35) and wanted him to graduate and get a good job so they could get married and start a family ASAP.
When he told me he planned to go to school (I live in the same town as his GF) I was happy he was trying to do something with himself. This was February and he planned on starting school in September. He wanted to work PT while going to school so I advised him to start applying now so he wouldn't have to compete as much with May graduates. He decided against that and didn't start looking until June.
Naturally, no jobs came and he told his GF he would not be moving down and that he would try again next year. She, again, offered to support him but he wouldn't accept. She became upset since it would be another year of being 100 miles apart and she wasn't getting any younger. In her anger she said some hurtful things and he ended the 18 month relationship.
Since that happened I volunteered to look over his resume and spruce it up for him. He agreed and it was in bad shape. Soon my boss announced we'd be hiring 3 temp-to-hire help desk people for a minimum of 6 months, however he wanted to keep the new people permanently so long as they did a good job. I gave my boss my friend's resume and informed my friend he would be getting a call for an interview.
He got the call, interviewed, and was offered the position. He declined. He told me despite the fact he'd be making $3 more per hour he didn't want to risk being without health insurance for 6 months and there was no guarantee he'd be hired on full time. I told him at least in 6 months he'd have IT experience and could look for something else. Nothing I said would sink in.
Now, I'm beginning to question if I want to remain friends with him any longer. I'm a successful IT professional. I have a great wife, 2 kids, a house, 401k, etc. My friend, on the other hand, seems content to work a dead end job, play games, and spank it. We're at completely different stages in life and it really eats me up seeing him scorn personal growth because he's too scared or comfortable to really strive for more.
If you read this whole thing, thanks. I wanted to vent.
Cliffs:
1. Had friend for over 15 years.
2. Led sheltered life, almost 30.
3. Left first and only GF because she wanted him to do something with himself.
4. I got him a job paying more money and would give him experience in IT but he turns it down because it's temp to hire.
5. I now question this friendship because it pains me so much to see him no different than he was 15 years ago and how he refuses to strive for anything more.
However, as I matured I realized that despite his social awkwardness and sometimes odd personality that he was a truly stand up guy who would always be there for me if I needed him. When I got married nearly 5 years ago I was honored to have him as my best man.
As the years go by, I've come to realize more and more that he has absolutely zero ambition in life and is content to drift along and doing nothing but playing computer games, RPGs with other losers, and whacking off.
After we graduated from high school, he decided to go to the same local college as I did. He rarely left his dorm room and dropped out after a year. He then began working in a food freezer moving freight. After 3 years there he got a job doing online customer support. A year or so after that he got a job in the data center at the same company as a Computer Operator. Essentially he sits there over night, changes tapes, and calls someone if something breaks. While doing this job he did go back to school and got a 2 year degree in "Computer Technology" but the degree is nearly useless now since he never uses those skills at his job.
His parents offered him an interest free loan to pursue a Bachelor's degree. His GF (the first he'd ever had, mind you, and who lives 100 miles away) said he could move in with her and she would work a FT and PT job to support him while he went to school in the same town she lives in. She was a few years older than him (he's 30 next month and she was 35) and wanted him to graduate and get a good job so they could get married and start a family ASAP.
When he told me he planned to go to school (I live in the same town as his GF) I was happy he was trying to do something with himself. This was February and he planned on starting school in September. He wanted to work PT while going to school so I advised him to start applying now so he wouldn't have to compete as much with May graduates. He decided against that and didn't start looking until June.
Naturally, no jobs came and he told his GF he would not be moving down and that he would try again next year. She, again, offered to support him but he wouldn't accept. She became upset since it would be another year of being 100 miles apart and she wasn't getting any younger. In her anger she said some hurtful things and he ended the 18 month relationship.
Since that happened I volunteered to look over his resume and spruce it up for him. He agreed and it was in bad shape. Soon my boss announced we'd be hiring 3 temp-to-hire help desk people for a minimum of 6 months, however he wanted to keep the new people permanently so long as they did a good job. I gave my boss my friend's resume and informed my friend he would be getting a call for an interview.
He got the call, interviewed, and was offered the position. He declined. He told me despite the fact he'd be making $3 more per hour he didn't want to risk being without health insurance for 6 months and there was no guarantee he'd be hired on full time. I told him at least in 6 months he'd have IT experience and could look for something else. Nothing I said would sink in.
Now, I'm beginning to question if I want to remain friends with him any longer. I'm a successful IT professional. I have a great wife, 2 kids, a house, 401k, etc. My friend, on the other hand, seems content to work a dead end job, play games, and spank it. We're at completely different stages in life and it really eats me up seeing him scorn personal growth because he's too scared or comfortable to really strive for more.
If you read this whole thing, thanks. I wanted to vent.
Cliffs:
1. Had friend for over 15 years.
2. Led sheltered life, almost 30.
3. Left first and only GF because she wanted him to do something with himself.
4. I got him a job paying more money and would give him experience in IT but he turns it down because it's temp to hire.
5. I now question this friendship because it pains me so much to see him no different than he was 15 years ago and how he refuses to strive for anything more.