Funniest, Best or Worst Tech Support Stories

[KeyserSosa]

A guy emails me with a huge long rant because.... he is annoyed that his emails are getting blocked by "some guy called Mailer Deamon" and "who does this guy think he is to look at my email and decide if they get to be delivered".

Then there was the guy whose email wasn't working correctly so I had to go through the settings with him over the phone. I told him enter mail@companyname.com and things were still not working so I told him to bring his computer in. When he does I look at the settings and it says mailatcompanynamedotcom

And finally there was the lady that came into Staples (like CompUSA but Canadian sort of) who wanted to buy a computer. After about 40 minutes she decides that she wants a keyboard from an HP computer set, the box from a Compaq computer set and nothing else. When I told her that that we can't take different components from different boxes she got mad and left :|

Tech support.... gotta love it. Anyone else got any horror stories?

 

[ThaGrandCow]

It's not tech support, I was working as a salesman at a Gateway Country store at the time.

Me: How are you doing today?
Guy: I'm doing fine. I heard I need a computer because the Internet's going to be huge. I want a system but I don't want to pay for Windows. (this guy knows nothing about computers. He's definitely not a linux guy.)
Me: Sir we can't sell a system withough Windows.
Guy: You better do it. The customer is always right. Go push your buttons and sell me a system without Windows. (guys getting agitated.)
Me: I'm sorry sir, we can't sell a system without Windows. We have no other operating system to put on there.
Guy: Well F*#@ you then. I'm going to Dell.
<guy turns and leaves the store>
<I'm standing there wondering what just happened>

 

[CStroman]

They're all right here.

 

[Soybomb]

read some stories i've posted while working for an isp

lemme know if they're funny, i've been too lazy to post 'em lately

 

[GooberPHX420]

Back in my non-leet days, I would call compaq/best buy tech support - no matter what the issue, theyd make me format!

[apu voice] Sir, you have to format in order to have exhausted all possibilities of it being a faulty OS. [/apu voice]

OMFG GIMME A BREAK BITCH! I had a zooming 4x2 burner from compaq and they gave me some amish-ass software that couldnt burn audio cd's for shlt, so they kept tellin me format. I formatted 2 times, they replaced the rom 2 times - yeah And I told them before ANY of this happened to send me out better software - they refused and cost themselves a few hundred when it wouldve cost them a software upgrade...lame

 

[err]

Here is a tech support story .. some might have read this be4 .. but I still think this is hillarious

============

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is
a true story
from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring
the customer care department.
Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee
(now I know why they record these conversations!)

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type "
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord
goes into it. Can
you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the
wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from
the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too f4cking stupid to own a computer."

 

[911paramedic]

I just had one last night. I forgot the address I was supposed to post my website on with my cable provider, I haven't used it in a couple years. I called to ask for the upload address.

first I got an ftp address that didn't work, then I got another ftp address that didn't work, so I got transfered to another tech "support" person...

TS "what address did they give you?"
ME "ftp://yadda, yadda, yadda"
TS "what was that first part?"
ME "f, as in frank, t, as in tom, p, as in paul"
TS "that's your problem, it should be smtp"

ME cleaning up the blood off my desk because that little vein in my forehead popped.

 

[GooberPHX420]

OMG ERR THAT STORY OWNS!!!

I wouldnt have the balls to say something like that, but id sure laugh nice and loud into the phone...