Funniest Joke I've ever heard.

[Yax]

Originally posted by: Kyteland
I'm sorry, but a study has already found the funniest joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Link

Yeah, read that long ago too, but I still liked the cannibal eating a clown much more. Its the simplicity in it.

Edit: Wierd, something wrong, reply got posted 3 times. Must have happened when I clicked the back then refresh button.

 

[Bignate603]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?









Because it was dead.









Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?









It was stapled to the first monkey.









Why did the last monkey fall out of the tree?









He felt left out.

 

[Ulfwald]

Acouple was honeymooning in the jungle when they were attacked and captued by 2 cannibals. One had already killed and had begun eating the husband, when he looked over at the his partner who was eyeing the young beautiful bride. He says "Hey! When you going to cook yours, the fire is dying out." The other cannibal replies back, "I think I will eat mine raw."

 

[SWScorch]

So, umm, I guess you like that joke for its simplicity?

Two sausages are cooking in a frying pan. One sausage nudges the other, and says, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" The other sausage goes "Aaaahhh!!!! A talking sausage!!"

How do you make a cat go "woof?"

Douse him in kerosene and throw him in the fireplace.

How do you make a clown stop laughing?

Hit him in the face with an axe (quite possibly my fave)

A pirate walks into a bar, and strolls up to the bar for a drink.
The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!"

 

[HannibalX]

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "what is this a joke?"

Two guys walk into a bar, the first guy says to the second guy "don't worry, I didn't see it either."

 

[weirdichi]

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says to him, "Hey we have a drink named after you."
Amazed, the grasshopper replies, "Really?!? You have a drink named Steve?"

LMAO

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's just funny! No explanation.

 

[kermalou]

Why do women wear white on their wedding night?



so they match the washing machine and dryer

 

[TheNinja]

What's the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?






One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker!

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: Kyteland
I'm sorry, but a study has already found the funniest joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Link

I laughed long and loud enough to pique my wife's curiosity. She didn't find it that amusing :disgust: her loss, that's hilarious!

 

[zbalat]

What do u call a mexican girl with no legs?

Consuelo

Sound it out.

 

[Kyteland]

Originally posted by: godmare

Originally posted by: Kyteland
I'm sorry, but a study has already found the funniest joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Link

I laughed long and loud enough to pique my wife's curiosity. She didn't find it that amusing :disgust: her loss, that's hilarious!

I thought is was funny that someone did a study about what the funniest joke ever was.

 

[kermalou]

Originally posted by: zbalat
What do u call a mexican girl with no legs?

Consuelo

Sound it out.

still dont get it

 

[SWScorch]

put a "t" after the "n"

 

[TheNinja]

Originally posted by: SWScorch
put a "t" after the "n"

SWScorch - you're sig is hilarious "Every so often I try to masturbate a large word into my conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means. "

 

[SWScorch]

awww shucks thanks. alas, I cannot claim responsibility for it. I got it from an email newsletter I used to be subscribed to called "Daily Ruminations" published by top5.com. Had a lot of very funny quotes and thoughts.

 

[ViperXX]

I've read all the jokes here and this has to be the funniest.

The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!" "

 

[Psycho18]

uuuuummmmmmm. AHA AHA aha aha NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo.

 

[Salvador]

Oh no.. This reminds me of those old "dead baby" jokes.

What's grosser than a truck full of dead baby's? A truck full of dead baby's with one live one eating its way out.

Sal

 

[mjquilly]

Originally posted by: kermalou
Why do women wear white on their wedding night?



so they match the washing machine and dryer

awww, you messed that one up. should be:

Why do brides where white?

It's nice to have the dishwasher match the waching machine and dryer

 

[ThaGrandCow]

...and so the doctor says, 'rectum? It nearly killed him!"

What's the best way to give a woman an orgasm? Who cares?!

 

[CaptainKahuna]

this thread is awesome!


BUMPAGE!

 

[XZeroII]

Violence solves everything. If it's not fixing the problem, you're not using enough of it.

 

[spanky]

Originally posted by: ViperXX
I've read all the jokes here and this has to be the funniest.

The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!" "

hahaha... thats funny

 

[Winchester]

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her?


















They moved around the furniture.

 

[PCMarine]

Originally posted by: ViperXX
I've read all the jokes here and this has to be the funniest.

The bartender looks at him and says 'Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?
The pirate looks at him and says "Arrrrrrrr, it's drivin me nuts!" "

Hahaha, nice one