Funniest Joke I've ever heard.

[MournSanity]

What is black, white, green, black, and white?






Two zebras fighting over a pickle.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

 

[Smaulz]

Originally posted by: Kyteland
I'm sorry, but a study has already found the funniest joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Link

Actually, I found this one... plus I had actually seen an entirely different one on Yahoo news with a completely different joke. Looks like they're tied for the top three.

Link

 

[Kelemvor]

Oh man this thread is bringing back memories.. All the Helen Keller jokes...

How did Helen Keller burn her face?
She answered the Iron.

How did she burn the other side?
They called back.


Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too.



And the Dead Baby jokes....

Why did the Baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken...


And the Grosser than Gross jokes..

What's Grosser than gross?

When you jump off a skyscraper and your eyelid catches on a nail.
When you kiss your grandma and she slips you the tongue.
When you're sitting on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.


And of coruse the etheopian jokes were always good...

How many ethiopians can you fit in the bathtub?
Dunno they keep slipping down the drain.

How do you get 100 Ethiopians into a phone booth?
Toss a cracker in it.

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

No one made you read the post... Lighten up a bit. It's not like he actually goes out and beats women.

 

[MustangSVT]

Originally posted by: ThePresence
You are easily amused.

ditto. but that might be a better way to live

 

[silverpig]

Okay, this isn't a real joke, but it's funny nonetheless.

I was playing some counterstrike a few months ago and we were playing an 8 on 8 match on italy. One particular round, we ran over the other team and we were left with a 6 on 1 for us. After running around for about 30 full seconds, our entire team couldn't find the last guy. I'm running around and over the radio I hear:

"WHERE THE FVCK IS WALDO?"

I hit <tab> to check the scores, and sure enough, the last guy left on their team was named Waldo.

 

[de9ali]

I just watched, "Catch Me If You Can" last night with Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Tom: "Knock Knock."
Other guys: "Who's there?"
Tom: "Go f*ck yourselves."

 

[BlamoHammer]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

And we care because?

 

[diamondgoat53]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF


:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

thousands of women battered each year, and here i've been eating mine plain.

 

[Indolent]

Originally posted by: diamondgoat53

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF


:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

thousands of women battered each year, and here i've been eating mine plain.

ROFL!!

 

[ThreeLeggedGnome]

Originally posted by: Kyteland
I'm sorry, but a study has already found the funniest joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Link

Wahahahaha now that's a good one

 

[jjyiz28]

what do you call a mexican fortune cookie?











































a taco shell with a food stamp inside

 

[Lithium381]

Originally posted by: Salvador
Oh no.. This reminds me of those old "dead baby" jokes.

What's grosser than a truck full of dead baby's? A truck full of dead baby's with one live one eating its way out.

Sal

those were the best, i've still got 'em, wonder if its' appropriate to post

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

good thread. but consuelo? contsuelo? wtf?

 

[AznMaverick]

i thought that saddam statue witht he hole in it was more funny than this.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: yobarman
Why does Hellan Keller need two hands to masturbate?

One to do it, and one to moan.

ROFLMAO!!!

Dude, you are going straight to hell, but it was worth it.

Ryan

 

[ElFenix]

heheh maybe its because i'm so f-ing tired but i'm laughing so hard i'm crying

 

[dafatha00]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: brentman
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?







Nothing you already told her twice.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THAT JUST FVCKING PISSES ME OFF

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

Have a cookie.

 

[SWScorch]

Consuelo = c**** way low

 

[WarmAndSCSI]

Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
I've heard a lot of funny jokes, but the one that strikes me as the funniest was the cannibal one that I read on the Internet back in 92, must have been the simplicity in it.

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks: Does this taste funny to you?

Still LMAO whenever I think of it.

That joke sucks. I didn't even chuckle. This is definitely not deserving of it's own thread.

 

[Kelemvor]

Originally posted by: diamondgoat53<br




thousands of women battered each year, and here i've been eating mine plain.

HA HA HA HA HA!!

 

[DanJ]

There are two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, "Any idea how to drive this thing?"


Ah dumb jokes...

 

[diamondgoat53]

why didn't Superman save those kids at Columbine?















he's in a wheelchair, stupid!!

 

[diamondgoat53]

what's the difference between a bowling ball and Rosie O'Donnell?
















if you had to, i mean absolutely had to, you could eat a bowling ball.