Funny joke..

[mrCide]

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

"Well, we're not having THAT sort of sh!t in our garden."

 

[mrCide]

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a

20-year-old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth.

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "Well, well, well! You certainly are quite a man!"

He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil. This one's black

 

[b0mbrman]

Ha ha ha

 

[Grendel99]

OMG LOL. Those are pretty good

 

[BornStar]

<< Ha ha ha >>

 

[Lithium381]

<< Ha ha ha >>



pretty good,

 

[Zim Hosein]

<< The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil. This one's black >>

 

[masterxfob]

<< << The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil. This one's black >>


>>

 

[PrinceofWands]

BWAHAHAHAHHAAH.

 

[UThamburglar11]

hahahahahahaha

 

[fatalbert]

hahahahahahahahaha

 

[FrustratedUser]

LOL
< fart>

 

[Whitecloak]

LOL

 

[Frosty3799]

<< Ha ha ha >>

 

[spanky]

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my @sshole." The idiot went to Heaven.

 

[Zim Hosein]

<< "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my @sshole." The idiot went to Heaven. >>



LMAO spanky007, thank you

 

[QTPie]

haha... I'm gonna change the oil too.

 

[toant103]

heard the second 1 before.

still funny though

 

[hooj]

LOL

 

[KK]

Sperm Count

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. The next day the 75 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this:

First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, and then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth; first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out still nothing.

We even called up Earleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeez'n it with her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get that damned jar open."




KK

 

[ChinamanatNCSU]

<< LOL >>

 

[pallander]

thanks for the jokes,,really funny
>change the oil haha>

 

[Wolfsraider]

thanks lol

 

[XZeroII]

haha. All are great

 

[GermyBoy]

Jeez...everything is so race related.
Did the mother mention if she tanned during pregnancy?