Wow, they completely ruined the coop in this game compared to Demon Souls. Apparently it puts you in random servers and if your friends don't somehow end up in the same one, you'll never get to summon each other. Boo. It's why I loved the first one. Summoning random people that I can't talk to is gay.
it is not "gay", it is the intention of the developer to make you feel isolated. Sitting on skype and voice chatting with your friend through the game doesn't get the "vibe" that the developers want for this game.
people abusing the system in the first game caused them to use multiple servers and limits on the level difference. this now causes a lack of souls traversing into other players instance.