Gather 'round and listen to a story :)

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
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In bygone days when venerated elders shared lessons from a life lived and stories from full, rich experience, people would come to listen, to enjoy, and to learn. Modern civilizations/States have replaced the art of storytelling and experiential knowledge with entertainment, advertisement, sex, and countless other things that can make a quick buck since they can be mass-packaged and sold on the market. I think the tradeoff is inferior. We cannot exchange or replace heritage and a sharing of life with systematized comedy/drama, routinized and hackneyed plots, and a culture gone mad with feeling good. We must create stories of our own to share, to relive, and to pass down. I'd like to do so just here. It is, like many of my posts here, very experiential and tries to make a point about everyday things that may go on unnoticed by most but that make much sense and provide good ground for thinking about ourselves as humans and about the stories we create in our lives, be they good, bad, both, or neither. Lamentably, I cannot tell this story in person so the effects of custom voices and character quirks are lost but please use your imagination.

Undoubtedly, I am just copying someone else's work, style, theme, idea, state, feeling, whatever else (since history and experience repeats), but being reminded of things we already know sometimes is not such a bad thing after all.

[edit] It seems that this really is some adaptation of a folk tale though nobody has helped me pin it down to a country of origin. It felt very close and familiar so I thought the theme was something I had read (and that's why I said it was a copy of another work) but apparently the plot and idea is from another tale altogether, adapted here and put into my words. anyone who can pinpoint the original story please post or PM me, I would love to read the original.[/edit]


Two water jugs

In the land of Kitai, when knights were knights and knaves were knaves, one peasant farmer living on a small track of land by the Xiangjiang river, in the eastern part of Hunan province, toiled away to provide for his family what food they needed. Now this was long ago, before the monster Yanhen was slain by the priests of Eheya and long before great-grandfather Yong-Pin received the medal from the emperor Sileng of the third dynasty. It was a time when the river gods were pleased with men and did not become angry with their deeds. It was a good time to live for this peasant farmer, Ling.

Owning little and being poor, Ling could not afford to buy proper equipment and had even less time and intelligence than money to learn how to make it. Yet the work had to be done so what was available had to be used. It wasn?t bad, really, though the tools often were ashamed when they were taken outside and could see each other and what the neighbors had; they were ashamed of their owner and of themselves. Seeing no worth in themselves, they tried to make the best of things and enjoy serving Ling well.

But it was not always so. Among the tools in possession was a water-carrier with a jug on each end that was used to carry water for cooking and washing. One of the jugs was perfect in every way; it was new, very durable, fired from the right kind of clay, kept water cool and was very shapely. Nobody knows for sure, but it is thought by many of the wise that this jug is the very same jug that held the oceans before time and before the first fishes swam in the lakes. Ling never had a problem with this jug, it was simply flawless.

The other jug proves to be another story. Found in an old refuse heap, it was just thought to be suitable for carrying water, when properly cleaned up that is. Ling took it and put it to good use by making a water-carrier. It has a deep crack running through it, like an old wound that wouldn?t heal and didn?t want to. No matter how hard Ling tried to fix it, the jug was just relentless in wanting to bleed water and so Ling said that 1 and-a-half jug of water was better than 1 jug and decided to leave it alone.

Jugs can be very stubborn.

The trip to the river to fetch water continued for 4 years like this. Like sands moving down rapids, the old jug slowly but surely let water pass through the crack. By the time Ling would get home, the full 2 jugs would be reduced to 1.5 jugs. Ling didn?t mind though, he was an agreeable fellow, the sort you?d want your parents to meet so he was happy that he had more than he did originally. His family was happy they had water and he was happy to work on his land.

One day, a change occurred in the cracked jug. The jug became overwhelmed with emotion, like all the water it had trickled away was suddenly rushing back in and demanding reparations for a job poorly done. He saw his perfect companion and exclaimed, ?Oh woah is me ! How to be this perfect container and do my job flawlessly every time. To work for my owner in such a way that he would have two jugs, each brimming with fresh water, faithful to the end. Why am I this way, broken and decrepit, an old man past his usefulness who must chew soft ricecake when the teeth have fallen out.?

Ling was a perceptive fellow; gentility often brings awareness. He saw that the jug he picked out from the rubbish heap was not happy. Whatever could be the matter? He spoke to the jug saying, ?My faithful pot, you who have given me half for so many years, are you not satisfied with what you have? I cleaned you and washed you, I gave you a chance to serve and to enjoy, you have so much to offer and can hold in plenty of water, why have you become saddened of late?? A fair question, for you see, Ling was right in his own way. Nothing had really changed from the days before of the days long past, just as nothing has changed today. The clay pot simply did not see it this way.

With a continued sigh, it said, ?My master, good Ling, you have washed me and have given me life, this is true, I have served you well and have enjoyed carrying water. But I want more. I look at what bad luck I have been given and I am saddened. This is not enough. The jug on the other side is perfect, a god. It carries always, never complains, always looks great, rarely needs cleaning and keeps the water very cool for your children. It is filled to the top and does not let the water out. Look at me, I have a deep wound, a crack that lets water pass and now it comes back to haunt me.

Ling was not sure what to say. Having used the jug, he was happy it was in his life since a jug-and-a-half is better than one jug. So he said, ?We will gather water today again. On our way back, when we get near the house, there is a row of beautiful and fragrant flowers that smell so sweet this time of the year. Many butterflies fly there and my children love chasing after them. When we pass by, take a look and enjoy the flowers.? Not wanting to appear rude, the jug agreed.

On the way back, it saw the flowers and saw that really, they were quite good. It was not comforting since the jug leaked water but at least now the flowers provided comfort and were very beautiful to look at.

After 3 weeks of this, the jug again became saddened, more greatly that before. It said to Ling, ?My master, you have given me much, it is true, though I still do not have what this other jug has. Why do not you patch me up so I am perfect??

Again, Ling enigmatically replied, ?on the way back, after the field and near the freshly planted bamboo, there are flowers, take a look at them. Again, the jug agreed.

It wasn?t really a solution. What about those flowers? Sure, they smell nice and look great, but the jug was still leaking water ! What good are the damn flowers when the jug can?t be as good as another and has to suffer? These thoughts haunted the jug day and night. Seeing this, Ling decided to show our cracked jug the flowers.

On a Friday morning, sometime after the tin-tin bird yells ?Karunaaaa-aaa?, the two jugs were carried by Ling on the way back to his house. They came to where the flowers were and Ling stopped. He pointed to the flowers and they stood there for what must have been eons looking at the beauty. Then, ponderously, like an old man worn down with hard labor, he said, ?I found you in an old heap, full of throwaways and ruins. You were precious in my eyes? and I love you. I cleaned you and made you mine. I put you to good use with this other jug who is able to carry water to the brim and provide for many. Without you, I would spend an extra trip down to the river to carry water. Now look at these flowers. Every day I go up this path to bring water to provide life for my family. The flowers only grow on this side. Every time I walk up from the river, you spill water and it trickles down from the crack. The flowers grow on your side. All the water you have spilled these years in the times I have walked has spilled onto the earth and look at the flowers that have grown along the path. Everyday I see these flowers, I get lost in looking at the colors and smelling the smells. Without that, I would not cherish my morning work as I do. The water you have spilled and cried over has fallen down yes, but look at where it fell ! On the other side, where the perfect jug has carried water flawlessly for me all these years, there are no flowers, there is not the same richness gained as the water you have bled through your wound. I could not ask for a better jug than you. I have picked you and you are mine.?

The cracked jug was thrown into rapture. The years of shame at not being able to see what water shed does melted with realizing that without its faults, it could simply not produce the flowers enjoyed by its master, by others, by animals and by the jug itself. It saw that the perfect jug was not capable of this, fulfilling the function only of carrying water. By spilling water, many flowers grew and thrived, where they are still enjoyed today.

In Hunan province, by the Xiangjiang river, where the fall festivals welcome in rich harvests, Ling, an old farmer owned two clay pots fastened on a stick to carry water. One was perfect and did its task without complaining. The other thought that since it didn?t come from good clay and was not wanted by the world, it was inferior. What it didn?t realize is that cracks and flaws produce flowering results.

If you take a boat upriver, you can still find the old man Ling toiling at his small plot of land and if you look carefully, you will see a row of flowers, right before the house that bloom year-round.
____________

Why did I write that story? What does it have to tell us? I think we find ourselves sometimes feeling like we are no good, like we have cracks in our exterior that spill out water. And so we are ashamed, we cannot bear to continue on with things. We are in some way deficient, lack love, lack money, lack the right genes, lack fortune and luck, or whatever other damages we have encountered as a result of being thrown in the rubbish heap of life. Thinking that we are below the perfect pots, we don?t take time to examine what flowers are springing up around us.

Or perhaps we think we are the perfect pots, doing everything right and on track with everything in life. Who are these inferior, dumber, sub-par people who are in the world around us? Why are they so stupid? Can?t they just give up their silly stuff, learn to cope with life, be strong, so we can all just move forward in human development and finally move on to a different civilization type?

If we think that we are perfect, then maybe we need to get cracked a few times so that flowers will grow. If we think we are imperfect, then maybe we need to take off our shoes and look what our flaws can create instead of picking blackberries all the time.

It is Spring and the April rains will soon come, especially here in Seattle, bringing with them more growth and more food for the apple and cherry trees that are in bloom right now. The peasant farmer Ling no doubt is waking up and getting ready to bring water from the river, since he is poor and cannot afford to buy expensive tools that the world says are absolutely necessary for a multi-million, modern farming enterprise. If you ever paddle against the current into the eastern plains of Hunan, make sure you visit Ling. Tell him linuxboy sent you. Stop to smell the flowers while you?re there.

There are not enough stories being told and even less created. What?s your story? Mine is about a farmer named Ling?

Cheers !
 

Elledan

Banned
Jul 24, 2000
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So... the moral of this story is that people who can not shut up cause other people to flourish?

Sorry, it had to be said
 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
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So... the moral of this story is that people who can not shut up cause other people to flourish?

Sorry, it had to be said


I don't understand. Maybe I lack your superior logical and inferential skills and my poor brain simply cannot handle such complex interpretations but how are you getting the idea of water flowing from a crack as words told by people? Why are you sorry and why did that have to be said? Are you perhaps mocking me and my loquacity and then questioning this entire approach and who I am and possible consequences on people? People are not flowers. Flowers are flowers. People are people. People can be flowers. Well, I am confused but that's no matter, I usually am. The moral, if anything, is what, if anything, you choose to take out of stories and the world around you. The universe is full of life.

Cheers !
 

JohnCU

Banned
Dec 9, 2000
16,530
4
0
damn, I wasn't going to read all that, but linuxboy has always given me great advice when I posted some problems, so I figure what the hell.

that was an EXCELLENT story. made me think about some things. Thanks.
 

Elledan

Banned
Jul 24, 2000
8,880
0
0


<< So... the moral of this story is that people who can not shut up cause other people to flourish?

Sorry, it had to be said


I don't understand. Maybe I lack your superior logical and inferential skills and my poor brain simply cannot handle such complex interpretations but how are you getting the idea of water flowing from a crack as words told by people? Why are you sorry and why did that have to be said? Are you perhaps mocking me and my loquacity and then questioning this entire approach and who I am and possible consequences on people? People are not flowers. Flowers are flowers. People are people. People can be flowers. Well, I am confused but that's no matter, I usually am. The moral, if anything, is what, if anything, you choose to take out of stories and the world around you. The universe is full of life.

Cheers !
>>


I find it funny how you derive a conclusion out of nothing.

But I'm way too lazy at the moment to explain the reason for my previous post and the reasoning behind the statement made in it. Use your own 1337 intellect to comprehend it
 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
6
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I find it funny how you derive a conclusion out of nothing.

But I'm way too lazy at the moment to explain the reason for my previous post and the reasoning behind the statement made in it. Use your own 1337 intellect to comprehend it


*scratches head*. It must be me... I don't quite understand how this is a conclusion. It seems to me that a conclusion requires some premises used to support it, deductively or inductively. I posted what I experienced when I read your post. I said "I don't understand" and "Well, I am confused...". I also posted what I thought my problem was in trying to understand your analogical inferences since a thing is not another in my view. Is it a conclusion? Perhaps it is an arbitrary assumption, I don't understand what your words are saying. Perhaps they are not really saying anything at all... or I am an imbecile. If you are too lazy to explin, then perhaps you should not post in my threads unless you wish to engage in conversation or make me understand what you say, especially when I want to know.

Enjoy the April rains.

Cheers !
 

Elledan

Banned
Jul 24, 2000
8,880
0
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<<
I find it funny how you derive a conclusion out of nothing.

But I'm way too lazy at the moment to explain the reason for my previous post and the reasoning behind the statement made in it. Use your own 1337 intellect to comprehend it


*scratches head*. It must be me... I don't quite understand how this is a conclusion. It seems to me that a conclusion requires some premises used to support it, deductively or inductively. I posted what I experienced when I read your post. I said "I don't understand" and "Well, I am confused...". I also posted what I thought my problem was in trying to understand your analogical inferences since a thing is not another in my view. Is it a conclusion? Perhaps it is an arbitrary assumption, I don't understand what your words are saying. Perhaps they are not really saying anything at all... or I am an imbecile. If you are too lazy to explin, then perhaps you should not post in my threads unless you wish to engage in conversation or make me understand what you say, especially when I want to know.

Enjoy the April rains.

Cheers !
>>


*laughs*

You've no idea.

It's a beautiful day outside. I can feel the warmth of the sun touch upon my skin, hear the birds chattering busily around me and feel a mild breeze move some strands of my hair.

Yet I do not look around in wonder. I sit back with a lingering smile around my face. I feel everything. Every single leaf is a seperate entity, yet at the same time entwined with everything else. Many form one.

Knowledge courses through my veins. I understand every single structure, every plant, every insect. Every grain of dirt. It's so easy, of such an admirable beauty, due its almost ridiculous simplicity.

For some time I remain seated, allowing my mind to wander freely through the curious structure which forms the Universe. The smile remains.

--

Your story lacked any depth, as did your explanation of it, so I must have been mocking you a little, I guess
 

Hyperblaze

Lifer
May 31, 2001
10,028
1
81
Linuxboy: I've read this story before...however...not in so many words.....vey good story.

For the individual who said there was no depth in the story....I disagree....

it just goes to show you that our characters make us who we are and make us special in one way or another.

(I was going to answer in a philosophical way but it's a Saturday Also, don't want to take Linuxboy's title of philosopher from him )

 

kgraeme

Diamond Member
Sep 5, 2000
3,536
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0
This story appears to be yet another attempt to subjugate and repress. There are endless stories such as this which have the moral of "Stop whining, it's your lot in life, but I'll distract your from your interest in self-improvement to tell you how your mediocre standing, while not making you happy, benefits others."

It's the lesson of the slaveholder. And a true slave is the pot (or person) who accepts the status quo as right and just.

The fight against this is what lead to such things as the Reformation, equal opportunity, free public libraries and the Information Age. The media industry you fear is a holdover from the Industrial Age and Disney and Murdock are just today's Vanderbilt and Rockefeller.

Ling's pot is a Rosa Parks who did not move to the front of the bus because she was told she added "color" to people's lives sitting in back.
 

Martin

Lifer
Jan 15, 2000
29,178
1
81
Wow, you wrote that?

That is truly excellent.




Reminds me of these stories I used to read a kid, I'll post one or two if I can find translations of them on the net (no likely though)
 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
6
76

*laughs*


What joy !

You've no idea.


He who tastes, knows. Of course I have no idea(s).

It's a beautiful day outside. I can feel the warmth of the sun touch upon my skin, hear the birds chattering busily around me and feel a mild breeze move some strands of my hair.

Yet I do not look around in wonder. I sit back with a lingering smile around my face. I feel everything. Every single leaf is a seperate entity, yet at the same time entwined with everything else. Many form one.

Knowledge courses through my veins. I understand every single structure, every plant, every insect. Every grain of dirt. It's so easy, of such an admirable beauty, due its almost ridiculous simplicity.

For some time I remain seated, allowing my mind to wander freely through the curious structure which forms the Universe. The smile remains.

--

Your story lacked any depth, as did your explanation of it, so I must have been mocking you a little, I guess


Ahh, that's great then, mockery brings a smile to my face... except I discover the smile had never really left. I get the feeling you're just a little too deep for me Elledan (well, actually, I can't make sense of things most the time so you're waaay too deep for me), since I (and it seems others) thought the story was well-done.

For some reason, that story I wrote seems very familiar, like I had heard it before somewhere and took the idea... where is this from?

and thank you for sharing your story.

Cheers !
 

Elledan

Banned
Jul 24, 2000
8,880
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<< For some reason, that story I wrote seems very familiar, like I had heard it before somewhere and took the idea... where is this from? >>


I've heard a similar story somewhere else, but I can't quite remember where.

However, there are countless of such stories, with some kind of semi-wise moral embedded in them.

Vouchsafe I went much deeper than you. Yet regardless how wise the person, certain things can not be shared using any language. Only hints can be given, after which those without understanding have to realize it for themselves.
 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
6
76
Linuxboy: I've read this story before...however...not in so many words.....vey good story.

That's the feeling I get.. like it's a copy of something though it came to me while I was reflecting on this coming Easter. I can't seem to recall where that story is from... I read much when I was young though so that may be it. And I'm hardly a philosopher.

kgraeme, I don't know what I wrote means, I create and express what I experience. If there is insight in that, I assure you, it is purely accidental.

Marty, it seems that stories from the "old country" have more to say to me as well than a modern film or novel. They feel cozy.

Cheers !
 

kgraeme

Diamond Member
Sep 5, 2000
3,536
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0


<<
kgraeme, I don't know what I wrote means, I create and express what I experience. If there is insight in that, I assure you, it is purely accidental.
>>



You feign ignorance in an attempt to pander to your own self-image of humility. It is nothing but a ruse and your affectation is not one of cleverness as you would like others to think. It merely comes off as an annoying, patronizing smugness.

To put it simply: you're a wanker.
 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
6
76
To put it simply: you're a wanker.

I don't quite understand. I write something, I create and I share. Usually, I don't know what that means. I reflect afterward realizing something and post it to examine the thought. When I write, it is not me writing, it is thoughts being put to pen. If you interpreted that story as a story of slavery then that is good, though I don't know really what it could mean, except maybe insofar as reminding me of an experience I had.

Do I think I am humble? Not really, I'm a bloody egomaniac . If you met me in person, I would tell you about the experiences I had, about my life, about any troubles and about my thoughts. That's not humility. Though I don't know, you may be right, I may be putting on some show to impress people for whatever reasons that are concealed to me. Let's look at it. Can you give me more examples of when I come off as what you call a "wanker"? What is that exactly?

I do tell you though, I have a very hard time making sense of things. People catch on to ideas and understand while I'm somewhere behind trying to catch up. Like this Elledan chap, I have no idea what he's talking about. I used to at one point but now I read the words and they make no sense.

I don't have to pretend to be ignorant, I really am. . Though some time ago I don't think I was, my writing doesn't seem that way, it has real good ideas and weaves in complex thoughts together into a cohesive whole. What happened?

Cheers !
 

ThaGrandCow

Diamond Member
Dec 27, 2001
7,956
2
0


<<

<<
kgraeme, I don't know what I wrote means, I create and express what I experience. If there is insight in that, I assure you, it is purely accidental.
>>



You feign ignorance in an attempt to pander to your own self-image of humility. It is nothing but a ruse and your affectation is not one of cleverness as you would like others to think. It merely comes off as an annoying, patronizing smugness.

To put it simply: you're a wanker.
>>

LOL! I really shouldn't find it amusing when someone gets flamed, but that one was just humorous. I don't agree with it, I just like the way it was summarized into a nice little package
 

CichliSuite

Senior member
Jan 31, 2001
822
0
0
I liked the story, however, its not original.

In any case, all the good that may have come out of the story is ruined by the pretentious bodhisattva talk. I run into you people all the time. Whenever I go to the temple (my parents are buddhist), there are always one or two people there, usually caucasian, who seem to think that the trick to enlightenment is to act as if one can walk on water. You know, that over emotional bonding, the extended "Yes!" and "I see!" Its actually quite hilarious.

For those of you whose words here are truly resulted from some spiritual enlightenment, I do apologize. I sincerely doubt this is the case, however. If one was so advanced, would they be bantering platitudes back and forth on an off-topic forum? After all, idle talk is universally admonished against by eastern religion as detrimental to The Way, Enlightenment, or whatever spiritual goal is prescribed.


"Knowledge coursed through my veins...many form one." Okay, Lao Tzu

 

linuxboy

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,577
6
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I liked the story, however, its not original.

I had some feeling as such; there was something familiar about it though the words created flowed as if they were my own, from an old experience or an imagined one. Do you know the exact source? I cannot recall it.

In any case, all the good that may have come out of the story is ruined by the pretentious bodhisattva talk.


I'm not very familiar with buddhism but I think boddhisatvas are supposedly ones who are at some advanced point on a spiritual path? Can you say exactly what you're referring to and to whom? What makes a thing pretentious?

I run into you people all the time. Whenever I go to the temple (my parents are buddhist), there are always one or two people there, usually caucasian, who seem to think that the trick to enlightenment is to act as if one can walk on water. You know, that over emotional bonding, the extended "Yes!" and "I see!" Its actually quite hilarious.


Wait, so intense emotional bonding signifies incincerity or is not really the point of enlightenment? There is humor in many things, what makes this funny, exactly?


For those of you whose words here are truly resulted from some spiritual enlightenment, I do apologize. I sincerely doubt this is the case, however. If one was so advanced, would they be bantering platitudes back and forth on an off-topic forum?

To whom are you referring? I am having trouble following what you mean. What is enlightenment according to you and what would cause you to doubt it? What does advanced mean and why would somebody who is supposedly in this state not banter platitudes on ATOT.


After all, idle talk is universally admonished against by eastern religion as detrimental to The Way, Enlightenment, or whatever spiritual goal is prescribed.

I think eastern thought says that idle talk means a person is at unrest or is missing the point. I recall Huston Smith telling of an experience he had with a Zen master who asked the koan, "what is the sound of one hand clapping" and the resulting philosophical answer that was admonished as "the philosopher disease". Is this what you mean? What makes some talk idle and other talk not idle?

"Knowledge coursed through my veins...many form one." Okay, Lao Tzu

Ah, so does that mean that blood is there in many paths and that it is still blood? Can you be a little more direct, I'm not understanding what you said and about what.

kgraeme, I'm sitting here and thinking "this person thinks I am pretentious and am putting on the appearance of someone who is ignorant about the nature of things and want others around me to think I am clever or wise or some other thing. What does that feel like? That hurts. What hurts? Where? To be called something in a way that is meant to hurt, that is meant to compare and place value on me and to classify me as some thing or other. Am I that? I can be. Am I that right now? What does it mean to be that? It would probably mean that this sort of being that I am craves recognition, craves attention, craves being seen as humble and somehow wants to put up the appearance of a person who sees him/her self above others or achieve social status or worth/esteem in the eyes of others for whatever reasons. Is that what that means? If it is, am I that? Do I do this? Something like that would feel great. To be seen as someone great, to have wisdom and power, to be liked by others, to be accepted, all of these things would be so comforting, I would love something like that. Am I that??

There is a great tendency to think so, to see words and accomplishments and compare them with something else and say that what I do is great or not great. Certainly if one compares, there will be many better and some worse. I would get great comfort out of having power, there is so much excitement in it and I have experienced it before. But this is madness, it leads to madness, it is not very important and it causes great pain in most cases. Looking at this now, I see that there is a great danger to like power in myself, because many people are easily fooled by feigned knowledge or expressed similitudes of something meaningful.

Now that that thought is over, I wonder what made me write that sentence? Why did I say that I don't know what I write? Why did I say that if any insight exists, it would be an accident or otherwise not my doing? Am I selfless? No, I am still here, though separation is very painful. Am I selfish or craving attention (I think the latter would be the result of some egomaniacal desire)? If another's esteem judges that, then I suppose kgraeme has called me that and so I am. But is that all I am? And was I that in this case? Why did I say that? I sometimes see the actions of others and think that there is good in one and bad in the other. I try to say that one person is more selfish or one more altruistic. I watch and categorize and use some system of analysis to categorize and put worth on people. At times, I do this to my own actions in attempting to judge them right or wrong. They sometimes seem better than the actions of others and sometimes they seem worse. This does not speak of what the action is... I acted, I said when I write I experience, words are put to paper and I express what I feel. This is true. This state is very rich, it feels like an extraordinary experience, to create something, like it is an experience that has been had by people expressing human creativity. I am not my normal self here, not the sort of person who goes around in daily living, it is a special experience to be treasured and put to use to learn. I said that if there is insight in it it is accidental because I did not create that. You interpreted my work as some connection to slavery. I did not see it that way, it did not say that to me, it said to me what I wrote in the first post. And so I say that if additional insight occurs as a result of something I did, or actually apparently copied and added onto, or more correctly something that I experienced as it was taking place, then I am not responsible for it, it is an accident since I had no intention to do anything except relive an experience and to share a story. And then you say I crave attention. It hurts to hear words that are meant to hurt. Maybe I write words to express to another what I am experiencing and to remind myself that what I do and say is not who I am fully. Maybe what I write is really to myself and I have no regard for perception. Does that make me a sociopath or a narcissist? I care and love but what does this mean?

Why does it hurt? Because it says I am something that feels wrong and it brings back many memories and experiences of when what you say is true. Is it true now? It may be, I have to explore it though in reading what I thought and did while posting that, it doesn't appear that way...

You tell me, why did you say that and why am I feeling pain right now? And why is there also happiness?

Let's look into it so I can make some sense of it and if what you say is true perhaps recognize it, deal with it, and if it is damaging, let it go and correct it with something good.

And if you can, please be as direct as you were last time since I sincerely am having a hard time understanding what people are trying to tell me lately and it's not some sort of self-deprecating move, I really am slow and I stumble onto most things by accident.

Cichli, please elaborate. I feel something very fundamental in your thread, something that runs very deep but I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.

Cheers !
 

tcsenter

Lifer
Sep 7, 2001
18,420
293
126
Where are the boobies and profanity in that story? We are adults not 6 year-olds on grandpa's knee.

I want boobies and profanity.
 
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