Getting married in seven weeks....

[ni4ni]

Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo

Originally posted by: ni4ni
So I am getting married on July 7 (07-07-07). We is going to be a small wedding. We are inviting approximately two hundred guests. (Anyone want an invitation?)

Any words of wisdom for me, advice, recommendations, pointers, or ideas for me?

Edit: Forgot to mention, we have been dating six years. I bought a house in March and we have been living together since.

We is going to be a small wedding.

I think you meant:

We are going to have a small wedding.

Personally, I recommend grammar classes for everyone who posted above this - how did no one else catch it and make a remark?

Actually I meant, It is going to be a small wedding. The irony is, I used to teach College Writing which was all grammar! My brain was working faster than my fingers!

 

[pradeep1]

Congratulations.

Some thoughts from someone who has been married six years:

1. Romantic love is bullshittake. It goes away. Real love comes later when lustful feelings have died down. But you've been with her for a long time, and should you should already be there.

2. It is hard. No simpler way to explain it than that. If you are not willing to actively kill the self you were before you got married, then don't. Being successful in marriage is more than compromise. It is giving up things that you are holding onto that you don't need.

3. Being committed to the marriage instead of your moods is critical. Many times in an argument or fight, you will be tempted to hurt the other with below-the-belt remarks. Don't do it. Be committed to the marriage and not to your feelings or hers.

4. Be ready to weather some storms. Women are unique and different from us. Don't take everything she says in anger at face value. If you do, you'll be a nervous wreck.

5. Know yourself. Know the root causes of your problems and your insecurities. There are many things your wife will do that will annoy you, but you later realize that it annoys you because of other reasons. Don't take out your anger on her. Learn to accept responsibility for your emotions and feelings. Don't act out on feeling towards here.

6. Be two individuals. You are not one person, you don't complete each other, you are not some p*ssified version of what you see on TV. Be together, but also be apart and relish in your own space.

7. Make her a priority in your life and treat her better than you treat others. She is not your buddy or bro that you can take for granted and treat with indifference. Honor her for who she is.

8. Be prepared to realize that you have married a crazy person. All people are crazy in their own way. You won't see it initially, but there are things that she will do that will drive you crazy, and likewise, you will drive her crazy. This is normal.

9. Fight. Don't hold things in and let it fester. Fight it out. Talk it out. Communicate and listen. Learn to kill your ego and grow up.

10. Realize that if you are not working, suffering, or growing, then you are not truly loving her.

11. Don't ever cheat on her. Period.

12. Be a real man. The men you see on most TV sitcoms are not real men. They are womenzied versions of what women think they want a real man to be. Being a real man, more than anything, is taking responsibilitiy for your actions. It is not about acting like a p*ssy and fawning over women and their greatness. It is treating her with respect, but also treating yourself with respect.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: ni4ni

Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo

Originally posted by: ni4ni
So I am getting married on July 7 (07-07-07). We is going to be a small wedding. We are inviting approximately two hundred guests. (Anyone want an invitation?)

Any words of wisdom for me, advice, recommendations, pointers, or ideas for me?

Edit: Forgot to mention, we have been dating six years. I bought a house in March and we have been living together since.

We is going to be a small wedding.

I think you meant:

We are going to have a small wedding.

Personally, I recommend grammar classes for everyone who posted above this - how did no one else catch it and make a remark?

Actually I meant, It is going to be a small wedding. The irony is, I used to teach College Writing which was all grammar! My brain was working faster than my fingers!

Hehe, oh the irony

Marriage jokes aside, you'll be fine, don't worry about it, and good luck

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo

Originally posted by: ni4ni
So I am getting married on July 7 (07-07-07). We is going to be a small wedding. We are inviting approximately two hundred guests. (Anyone want an invitation?)

Any words of wisdom for me, advice, recommendations, pointers, or ideas for me?

Edit: Forgot to mention, we have been dating six years. I bought a house in March and we have been living together since.

We is going to be a small wedding.

I think you meant:

We are going to have a small wedding.

Personally, I recommend grammar classes for everyone who posted above this - how did no one else catch it and make a remark?

My grammar nazi uniform is at the cleaners.

ALL YOUR BASE...ALL YOUR BASE....ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

 

[nova2]

suggest you consider crashing your wedding.

http://www.google.com/search?&q=real%20wedding%20crashers

 

[dyn2nvu]

Written PRENUP!

 

[Troll4Hire]

Advice: Prenuptial Agreement, so if things ever go sour you will have a parachute to ease the landing.

 

[ni4ni]

Originally posted by: nova2
suggest you consider crashing your wedding.

http://www.google.com/search?&q=real%20wedding%20crashers

Would have loved to do that but fiancee said no...

 

[clamum]

Very nice post, pradeep1.

Congrats OP! :beer:

 

[bigrash]

Originally posted by: pradeep1
Congratulations.

Some thoughts from someone who has been married six years:

1. Romantic love is bullshittake. It goes away. Real love comes later when lustful feelings have died down. But you've been with her for a long time, and should you should already be there.

2. It is hard. No simpler way to explain it than that. If you are not willing to actively kill the self you were before you got married, then don't. Being successful in marriage is more than compromise. It is giving up things that you are holding onto that you don't need.

3. Being committed to the marriage instead of your moods is critical. Many times in an argument or fight, you will be tempted to hurt the other with below-the-belt remarks. Don't do it. Be committed to the marriage and not to your feelings or hers.

4. Be ready to weather some storms. Women are unique and different from us. Don't take everything she says in anger at face value. If you do, you'll be a nervous wreck.

5. Know yourself. Know the root causes of your problems and your insecurities. There are many things your wife will do that will annoy you, but you later realize that it annoys you because of other reasons. Don't take out your anger on her. Learn to accept responsibility for your emotions and feelings. Don't act out on feeling towards here.

6. Be two individuals. You are not one person, you don't complete each other, you are not some p*ssified version of what you see on TV. Be together, but also be apart and relish in your own space.

7. Make her a priority in your life and treat her better than you treat others. She is not your buddy or bro that you can take for granted and treat with indifference. Honor her for who she is.

8. Be prepared to realize that you have married a crazy person. All people are crazy in their own way. You won't see it initially, but there are things that she will do that will drive you crazy, and likewise, you will drive her crazy. This is normal.

9. Fight. Don't hold things in and let it fester. Fight it out. Talk it out. Communicate and listen. Learn to kill your ego and grow up.

10. Realize that if you are not working, suffering, or growing, then you are not truly loving her.

11. Don't ever cheat on her. Period.

12. Be a real man. The men you see on most TV sitcoms are not real men. They are womenzied versions of what women think they want a real man to be. Being a real man, more than anything, is taking responsibilitiy for your actions. It is not about acting like a p*ssy and fawning over women and their greatness. It is treating her with respect, but also treating yourself with respect.

great post!

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: ni4ni

Originally posted by: michaels
Small? Damn what do you call large?!

Well, you can expect less than half to show up so around one hundred attending.

I invited ~110, and had 100 show up. Sounds like you've got a skewed perception of reality, or crappy friends. Or I just have really good ones.

- M4H

 

[MagicConch]

Originally posted by: Troll4Hire
Advice: Prenuptial Agreement, so if things ever go sour you will have a parachute to ease the landing.

QFT

 

[nakedfrog]

My wedding is eight days away, but we've been together even longer than you
And we're having an actual small wedding (25 guests) but it's at the renaissance festival so it will seem like more
(If any of you ATers want to show up, PM me for details )

Pradeep's advice is sound. There will probably be hard times at some point, but remember that just like the rest of life, it's not all sunshine and lollipops.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: pradeep1
Congratulations.

Some thoughts from someone who has been married six years:

1. - 12.

Congratulations to you. Your wife is either very smart, very lucky, or both.

 

[IeraseU]

I'm terrified of marriage........literally horror movie terrified. I can't offer any advice other then good luck, oh and try not to spend so much money on the wedding that you stress your finances.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: pradeep1
Congratulations.

Some thoughts from someone who has been married six years:

1. - 12.

Congratulations to you. Your wife is either very smart, very lucky, or both.

I was just going to say the same thing you did....
That has to be the one, very best post on ATOT in the whole time i have been here in regards to relationships.

 

[cheapgoose]

congrats! :beer:

 

[ColdFusion718]

Originally posted by: cheapgoose
congrats! :beer:

 

[aircooled]

There are some pieces and parts I might not particularly agree with, but still overall gets an A.

Married twice and in the middle of 2nd divorce right now from a VERY long relationship. 10 years married, 15 years living together total).

...and you guys keep my cats hands of your tits

 

[jadinolf]

Word of wisdom.

DON'T

 

[Vonkhan]

If u can help it, don't do it - have a freedom :beer: instead

If u have to, P R E N U P and good luck :thumbsup:

 

[meltdown75]

Good luck, and remember these wise words of wisdom I once heard from a fellow ATOTer:

Happy wife = happy life.

enjoy! :wine:

 

[AreaCode707]

Attitude and reaction are both a choice. Each person can only control their own choices. This works two ways.

1. She can't control you, your feelings or your reactions, so she doesn't "make" you mad, you choose to react that way. You can choose alternatives, or to walk away and cool down.
2. You need to remember that you can't control her, her feelings or her reactions. If she's pissed, that's a choice she's made.

Sticking it out through the tough times really is worth it.

It takes years to build up trust and only a single mistake to destroy it. Think about how much effort you're throwing away before you make that mistake.

 

[cjmtfd102401]

Any words of advice for woman in the relationship?

 

[Coquito]

You know what would be a perfect gift for all the guys attending?

Link