GF wants to get marry - Reason why I dont want to!

[LuckyTaxi]

Many of you guys probably remember when I made a post about a month ago in regards to my gf cheating on me.
Well, things are well now, but I still have my doubts about her. Anyways, we've been talking about marriage
and the one thing stopping me from proposing is the idea that I will have to support her and her family. My gf
graduated from HS, but never attended college becuz she has to help support her parents and her 5 bros and sisters.
That's a lot to ask from a 19 y/o. Only her dad works, but his place has been pretty slow.

Anyways, her mom constantly asks her for money everyday to buy certain things like food and stuff, and the gf doesn't
have a chance to save up any money to buy what she really wants. So, I've been thinking and if it came to the point when
we're marry, her family will probably want to bum off of us. I dont mind helping parents, but I think this is going to extreme.
I am expecting to graduate this December, and a lot of ppl are wondering why I'm with my gf becuz they think I could
do better. What if I were to make $50,000 and she continues to make her $25,000. Her parents will definately want some of
our income!

Am I right?

 

[Zorro]

I think i read in your post that she cheated on you :Q Why would you consider marrying her ?


You know the saying once a cheater always a cheater.

 

[GtPrOjEcTX]

forget everything else.... in your heart, is she the one?
yes = marry (not definately immediately but maybe down the line)
maybe = keep her until you figure it out
no = well, that's a toughie...

 

[GtPrOjEcTX]

always remember this about the cheating (which I'm sure you've heard before)

if they cheat once its their fault, if they cheat again its your fault

 

[Kadarin]

lilcam, the fact that you'd be going into this expecting her parents/family to live off of your income says to me that it's doomed to fail. You have to decide what's right for you, but between this and the cheating incident, I certainly wouldn't jump right into it.

 

[murphy55d]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
lilcam, the fact that you'd be going into this expecting her parents/family to live off of your income says to me that it's doomed to fail. You have to decide what's right for you, but between this and the cheating incident, I certainly wouldn't jump right into it.

Agreed. Definitely.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

I should've mentioned that I dont plan to get marry anytime soon. The gf wants to get marry soon becuz she's getting old. She's only
19!!!!! In the asian society, if you don't get marry by 21 (I think 21) you're considered old and too late. I never really liked the asian tradition, which is why I don't get along with many asian ppl.

And you guys are right. Once a cheater, always a cheater. The funny thing is now I'm being more protective of her and asking where she goes and who she goes out with. She gets pissed cuz I'm putting a leash around her neck and she tells me it's not fair. I tell her after what happened that I cant trust her. She gets pissed and says I keep brining it up. I think some ppl are pretty stupid and it goes to show. Sometmies I wonder why I'm with her. After what happened a month ago, I really dont care if she does cheat again. I have come to realize that I'm not giong to lose anything. She's the one that's going to lose me and she knows she cant find anyone better than me. Her other dates are HS dropouts who like to drink and smoke weed all day.

Here's something interesting. I asked her why she liked the dude she was cheating with. She said he listened to her and that he cared about her. I called the guy an idiot and a loser cuz he gets drunk everyday and doesnt do anything with his life. The gf gets mad and tells me I shouldnt put ppl down and that I dont know the whole story. So her reasoning is that it's ok for someone to drink if they're depress. I told my gf to open her fvcking eyes and realize ppl have bigger problems than he does and many folks dont resort to drinking. To make the long story short, my gf is very gullible. She fell for the guy becuz he was nice and sweet (in reality he wanted her for some booty - she says no but everyone else says that was his intention), and she doesnt like it when I put the guy down. Maybe I should just let her go screw him then and get it over with! They belong together!

 

[murphy55d]

Dude, based on everything you said so far, I'd tell her to hit the road.

 

[Amused]

"Get Marry?"

Sounds like she want's to get happy.

 

[Phunktion]

Originally posted by: murphy55d
Dude, based on everything you said so far, I'd tell her to hit the road.

Get out while you still can and never look back..

 

[Czar]

Regardless if you want to marry her or not, you are too young in my opinion. Life goes very fast at that age and alot more can happen, more than you could ever imagine. Wait with it, if you are still together in a few years then by all means marry her.

just my opinion ofcorse

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Phunktion

Originally posted by: murphy55d
Dude, based on everything you said so far, I'd tell her to hit the road.

Get out while you still can and never look back..

Agreed. It's obvious you have issues and concerns about even being with her at all, let along getting married. It also sounds like you're really not getting a whole lot out of this relationship in the first place. It's harsh, but I'd suggest getting rid of her, as you should have no problem finding someone who is better for you (and who in turn would be more into you than this girl.) Admittedly, I don't know the whole history, so my advice is worth what you're paying for it, but you're not really giving us anything positive to go on here.

 

[Dually]

First of all let me get rid of some ideas some folks have in this thread, there is no "one" to get married to.

She has cheated on you in the past and may still be cheating on you or may resume cheating on you. I wouldn't marry a girl who makes no money and then the money that is made goes to the parents.

 

[dirtboy]

Do yourself a big favor: If you have any doubts in your mind, do not marry this woman.

 

[wyvrn]

I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. I only had one GF cheat on me (that I know of), and I ended that relationship the same day I found out. Why would you put up with that? Sounds to me like you need to develop some more self confidence.

 

[GtPrOjEcTX]

Originally posted by: Dually
First of all let me get rid of some ideas some folks have in this thread, there is no "one" to get married to.

I respect your opinion. Don't agree with it though.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: AmusedOne
"Get Marry?"

Sounds like she want's to get happy.

Either that, or she's been munching the carpet on the side.

 

[poopaskoopa]

Run.

 

[DDCSpeed]

Yo LilCam,

I am asian too but I dont know about getting married before 21...What nationality practices that??? Anyways, I believe I was in the same situation before...that a cheating gf (now ex-gf) talked about marriage. My best advice tells me to let her go! I took me a while to let her go but It felt like I was free from the locks and chains. In short, You wont be happily married with the suspicions. I dont like her already that she is taking the OTHER MAN's side and defended for him. Seriously, if he was so good, why does she stay with him? I dont recall your last thread but she probably said it was a mistake and she was either 1. intoxicated, 2. stupid. You probably asked her why she came back, and she mentioned that 1. she love you or 2. she found out that you are the one she wants to be with. If I am right about the last two sentences then you should re-think and evaluate closely if you want to be with her.

To answer the question to your thread...No, most likely, her parents will not ask you directly for money but they will ask her. If her money is not enough, your future wife will ask you and even beg you to spare the money. Either way, your money will go out of your back account.

 

[amdskip]

Get away from that situation while you still can. She's gonna leach money from you if you were to get married like crazy nuts!

 

[bunker]

Get out now.

 

[BigPotato]

Get out now.

Marriage is supposed to be a happy thing, and u aren't even happy now!!

 

[DDCSpeed]

ok....i went back and checked out your last threads...she seems to be like a typical girl who just wanted to get married to get out of her house...If thats the case, you shouldnt marry her to make her happy. The marriage should make you happy also.

I do have to say that I am not the kind of person to forgive cheaters...so my words arent too kind toward them.

I can probably tell you that she did more stuff than she told you. She is just afraid to tell you because she believes you will leave her if she did. A way to find out is to tell her that you know the truth and you talked to the guy and he admitted that they had sex. See what happens...

 

[Joony]

Originally posted by: bunker
Get out now.

 

[Adul]

married by 21? Wtf are you talking about. maybe it is afamily thing with her, but for the most part I met plenty of people in thailand that where not married by 21. Hell there is a good number not married by 30.