woah..some good points in these posts. This is what i think, some are reiterated from prev posts.
1) when you ask for a date. (pseudo or real) ..never be iffy about the the time and date before you let them off the hook. it poses great problems such as, people forgetting, people wanting to do other stuff at same time, people unable to be contacted...
2) if she's being a flake...dont put all your eggs in the basket. there's a high risk of this one dropping. she's obviously not highly interested although she may be friendly and are very nice to you.
3) know the distinction between friendly, flirty and madly in love. "friendly not equals to interested in going out" for all instances where she doesnt have a sparkle in her eye when she talks to you. some girls are real tough to tell..they are teh flirty ones who love the attention. some girls are real nice, they will go out even if they arent interested.
4) Evaluate her interest level in the most objective manner possible. chose one of following.
a) you decide that this girl has an interest level akin to water level in a parched desert. you promise to yourself to forget about her and you should move on as soon as possible. any more lingering and you'll hurt yourself. convince yourself that she's sour grapes and screw it.
b) you decide this girl is interested in being friends. your choice now is whether to continue to let that transpire in a healthy manner and how well of a friend. This answer to this one is highly dependent on your personality and your compatiblity. if you are the type that historically gets snagged in unrequited relationships (aka a platonic friend you have a huge crush on) you should think realy hard about the exact type of friend you want to be with this person. In the event that you talk to her often and become very good friends..life is gonna suck for you for as long as you maintain that friendship and are still attracted to her. In which case your best choice may be to maintain a distant yet friendly relationship. Sometimes, as a very good friend she will become interested in seeing you romantically. However, it has the equal chance of having your guy buddy turning into a pretty girl one day.
c) you decide this girl has a moderately high interest level, yet stil doesnt want to go out with you because its not in her head at the moment. for this one...put yourself on a holding pattern (friendly yet distant) and work your charm and magic.
5) now you know she's not highly interested (as of yet) although she's friendly and nice to you. even better, you guys have a good time together. the question on everyones mind is: what is there to do to make her interested? this one is a real tuffy which i happened to be thinking about earlier today.
the answer is: be yourself. everyone has a good side, the likable part of their personality. you maintain that attractive side to this person. you chose what you want to be...you can be badass, polite and friendly, charming and enlightening, cute and witty. you pick what you want to be...you can be all of them if you want. At one point she will finally see how attractive you are. The most important thing at this time is to not put all your eggs in one basket. heckk..dont put any eggs in baskets, they should be in styrofoam. If you never fall head over heels over a girl who's not interested, you will never get hurt from unrequited puppy love. ( i call it puppy love because i believe you cant fall in love with some one who's not interested in ya)
so....motto is "dont put all your eggs in one basket." a close contender to the motto would be "what matters is not how interested you are, but how interested they are".
woah..i was feeling crappy when i started writing this and now that Im done I feel pretty good. feel free to suggest better alternatives to what Ive written so we can all work together to help the ATOT community. .