Condolences OP.
Do you have a link to this information? Can't find any updates other than the vigil and seizure of an SUV that may or may not be involved
She's having problems from the father's side of the family. A father who rarely saw his kids. She said she will be moving up here after it's all said and done and not to come down there.
I kept thinking about this post for a while and I think this is probably one of those times when you don't take someone at their word. She'll say a lot of stuff she doesn't really mean right now. Regardless of what she told you about coming down there, chances are if you do go down there, all she'll be is grateful. In fact, I'd bet that one of the big things she'll remember about this time later on is whether you were there or not.
This is something I wouldn't have understood just a few years ago. I tend to take people very literally, and in your shoes I would probably have just thought she meant exactly what she said not that long ago. I know differently now.
The only thing that could change things in my mind is the nature of your relationship with her. If it's a serious and committed relationship, then you go. If it's not that serious, then maybe you stay. That might be a seemingly uncompromising way to put it, but I'm trying to view this through the lens of a mother who has lost her child. This is likely the worst thing that ever has or ever will happen to her. The people she cares about the most should be around her now.
In this case, it's for a good cause. You'll spend at least $12K for a decent funeral/burial.There is a Go Fund Me to raise money for his son, not sure if linking is allowed but it's under his name, Carl Wilson. It says funeral but she didn't post it, a friend of hers did and that's why it's light on information.
How come every article I read about this has no mention of his parents? It seems like he was living on his own taking care of the baby. Is the mother involved in his life? I've only seen mentions of his cousin and grandmother.
Very much this, I really hope dawp seriously reconsiders going, this is a time to be there for support.I kept thinking about this post for a while and I think this is probably one of those times when you don't take someone at their word. She'll say a lot of stuff she doesn't really mean right now. Regardless of what she told you about coming down there, chances are if you do go down there, all she'll be is grateful. In fact, I'd bet that one of the big things she'll remember about this time later on is whether you were there or not.
This is something I wouldn't have understood just a few years ago. I tend to take people very literally, and in your shoes I would probably have just thought she meant exactly what she said not that long ago. I know differently now.
The only thing that could change things in my mind is the nature of your relationship with her. If it's a serious and committed relationship, then you go. If it's not that serious, then maybe you stay. That might be a seemingly uncompromising way to put it, but I'm trying to view this through the lens of a mother who has lost her child. This is likely the worst thing that ever has or ever will happen to her. The people she cares about the most should be around her now.
This....
My (now) wife's father died a few months into our relationship, and was buried several states away. I'd never met him, and he was kind of a POS anyway, and it just so happened to be right in the middle of the busiest time possible for me (I was working 70+ hours a week). She insisted that I stay home as she had a lot of family going and wouldn't be alone.
She held it against me for years.
Just go. It will mean a lot to her.
Doesn't have to be a game. Just because you know something is logical, doesn't mean you feel it.Goddamn, why do people play such stupid verbal games.
Goddamn, why do people play such stupid verbal games.
Goddamn, why do people play such stupid verbal games.