I had been dating this girl for about a month and a half, up until the point that we split she was the best girlfriend that I have ever had, and even though we aren't dating anymore, she's definately still a really good friend of mine. We split up because of conflicting schedules at college and outside of school she had practice for softball and work, and when she's not working at her family's bar, I'm busy, wether it be that the band I work for has a gig and I Have to work or coaching the local high school track team... something always conflicts between the two of our schedules.
This past weekend the band I work for played at the bar that she bartends at. The members of the band know the situation I'm in and I ride with them to each gig. They started questioning me as to why I was being so nice to her and wanted to know how I was going to act tonight when I was around her, and they mentioned what they'd do, they said they'd probably be complete assholes to her if they where me.... and so the night began with that insight stuck in my head.
I walked into the bar, and because I'm not like the guys in the band, I believe that there is a difference between "Nice guys finish last" and "Being a gentleman". So I Said hello to her family and made conversation and finally got down to work and set the band up. Throughout the night I tried to ignore my ex, but like I said, she's a good friend of mine depsite the fact hat her and I are no longer together. , and I don't even know why I bothered trying to ignore her, I guess trying to live up to the expectations of the band members. Anyhow... after a while I started hearing from her family members, they where asking me what was wrong and why I wasn't talking to j
o?, they all knew that the two of us are still friends, I made up some excuse like "The band has had me tuning their guitars and they dont' think the sound is right, so I've been busy" ..... "oh" they replied, I guess throughout the night she got pissed off to a point where she just "didn't care" anymore.
As I was packing the van up with the equipment, the band members where inside talking to jo's mother and jo... and apparantly during that time, the band was inside the bar talking to jo and her mom, they interrogated her and asked her why she broke up with me and whatnot and as I came back through the bar to gather up more stuff to pack up, I heard her say "I like him, but I just don't have time right now", which really isn't off base very much, I knew she didn't have time, I just didn't know that there was feelings still involved, I thought we where just friends now and that's all it was ever going to be. But being that she said earlier in the night that she didn't care how I was acting towards her, it kind of pissed me off to hear she still had feelings for me, I figured she was just saying it to get the guys off of her back so she wouldn't have to hear it anymore. After a few minutes of packing up we left the bar and everyone that wasn't in the band was kind of pissed at me because I got pissed off hearing what I heard and just ignored everyone completely.
That was at about 3am last sunday, afterwords I went out to a denny's with the band and didn't get home until 5:00am where I hopped onto my computer and had a pretty e-mail waiting for me in my inbox from her saying that she was really upset with me about how I acted throughout the night towards her (but wait... I thought she didn't care?). So after I woke up from the night before, somewheres around 1pm, I hopped back online to see that she was online and she promptly IM'd me asking what my problem was, I told her that I had no problem, I wanted to see her reaction, but now that she brought i up, I'm angry at you for lying to the band, to get them off of her back. She seemed confused and was like "about liking you? I still do..." which opened a doorway to a whole new conversation full of questions from me.
Her and I didn't split up before just because she didn't have time, there was another guy involved that she liked and wanted to test out without "hurting" me, on top of not having time. That guy didn't work out and her and I ended up remaining close friends. Now she's kind of back in my court, she still doesn't have time because this semester isn't over, but we're starting to hang out more and she wants me to go to a wedding with her as her date. So what do I do? let things go the way they are going and see what happens? try to speed the process up? ditch the whole idea because she liked another guy and left me, but it didn't work out and now she wants me back, possibly more?
Any advice would be appreciated.
This past weekend the band I work for played at the bar that she bartends at. The members of the band know the situation I'm in and I ride with them to each gig. They started questioning me as to why I was being so nice to her and wanted to know how I was going to act tonight when I was around her, and they mentioned what they'd do, they said they'd probably be complete assholes to her if they where me.... and so the night began with that insight stuck in my head.
I walked into the bar, and because I'm not like the guys in the band, I believe that there is a difference between "Nice guys finish last" and "Being a gentleman". So I Said hello to her family and made conversation and finally got down to work and set the band up. Throughout the night I tried to ignore my ex, but like I said, she's a good friend of mine depsite the fact hat her and I are no longer together. , and I don't even know why I bothered trying to ignore her, I guess trying to live up to the expectations of the band members. Anyhow... after a while I started hearing from her family members, they where asking me what was wrong and why I wasn't talking to j
o?, they all knew that the two of us are still friends, I made up some excuse like "The band has had me tuning their guitars and they dont' think the sound is right, so I've been busy" ..... "oh" they replied, I guess throughout the night she got pissed off to a point where she just "didn't care" anymore.
As I was packing the van up with the equipment, the band members where inside talking to jo's mother and jo... and apparantly during that time, the band was inside the bar talking to jo and her mom, they interrogated her and asked her why she broke up with me and whatnot and as I came back through the bar to gather up more stuff to pack up, I heard her say "I like him, but I just don't have time right now", which really isn't off base very much, I knew she didn't have time, I just didn't know that there was feelings still involved, I thought we where just friends now and that's all it was ever going to be. But being that she said earlier in the night that she didn't care how I was acting towards her, it kind of pissed me off to hear she still had feelings for me, I figured she was just saying it to get the guys off of her back so she wouldn't have to hear it anymore. After a few minutes of packing up we left the bar and everyone that wasn't in the band was kind of pissed at me because I got pissed off hearing what I heard and just ignored everyone completely.
That was at about 3am last sunday, afterwords I went out to a denny's with the band and didn't get home until 5:00am where I hopped onto my computer and had a pretty e-mail waiting for me in my inbox from her saying that she was really upset with me about how I acted throughout the night towards her (but wait... I thought she didn't care?). So after I woke up from the night before, somewheres around 1pm, I hopped back online to see that she was online and she promptly IM'd me asking what my problem was, I told her that I had no problem, I wanted to see her reaction, but now that she brought i up, I'm angry at you for lying to the band, to get them off of her back. She seemed confused and was like "about liking you? I still do..." which opened a doorway to a whole new conversation full of questions from me.
Her and I didn't split up before just because she didn't have time, there was another guy involved that she liked and wanted to test out without "hurting" me, on top of not having time. That guy didn't work out and her and I ended up remaining close friends. Now she's kind of back in my court, she still doesn't have time because this semester isn't over, but we're starting to hang out more and she wants me to go to a wedding with her as her date. So what do I do? let things go the way they are going and see what happens? try to speed the process up? ditch the whole idea because she liked another guy and left me, but it didn't work out and now she wants me back, possibly more?
Any advice would be appreciated.